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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Baby never sleeps at night!

15 replies

Janey2012 · 12/02/2013 21:26

I have a 5 mth old boy who im breastfeeding, is happy & naps quite well in the day. We recently moved house to a new city/county & everything has changed, my husband works away 4 days/3nights a week & he normally does bathtime. Whether it's this, the move, the house change... Something has unsettled him & even tho I'm doing the same rituals every night he's hugely upset when I put him in his crib & if I leave him to cry, he gets more & more upset so I can't/won't leave him too long which means I end up rocking the crib/feeding/singing to him for 3/4 hours till he eventually falls asleep about 11 by which time I'm exhausted, have had no food, no evening & he'll be up in 2 hours for a feed & I get no break for 86 hours!! this work arrangrment lasts another 9 weeks & im at the end of my tether...Any suggestions on how to settle him in a new environment? thanks

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FuriousRox · 12/02/2013 21:31

Co-sleep?? Cuddle down with him then creep out, stuff in some grub, brush teeth, back to bed. Sounds tough, op - sympathy. My ds is 16 weeks and sleeps in two hour bites, and dh is about to go away for work for four weeks (incl weekends) leaving me at mercy of baby and toddler. [terrified face]

Original poster

Janey2012 · 12/02/2013 21:55

[Thanks]FuriousRox I'm trying that a bit but he has an extremely sensitive sensor at the moment which makes it difficult move away as his eyes open & his little arms start scrabbling the air to feel me!! Might get a hot water bottle to strap to a teddy to replace me so I can sneak away to get food in while we get over this blip-he slept fine at night & went down well in our old house 2 weeks ago! You're so right just to clean my teeth as well & wash my face would be great!! Good luck for you, must be more difficult with two...I hope the time flies by & they behave!

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 12/02/2013 22:02

This does sound really, really tough. Agree that co-sleeping might be the way to go here.

Do you think the change might have caused a little separation anxiety?

redwellybluewelly · 12/02/2013 22:11

Massive massive sympathies.

DH has to go away every 6 months or so for a week for work. First time DD was 4 months and only slept on us. I used to have a cooked lunch and a snack tea as I was dealing with DD and then move onto her time, so I would go to bed with her, read a book in a dim light or surf MN, then up many times in the night, then wake up with her in the morning and be able to vaguely cope. When she was v small I could put her in the car seat and take her into the bathroom with me so I could shower.

There are various stages of baby development which are preceded by a sleep regression, maybe moving and daddy being away etc have all coincided?

Also rope in any help you can, go out for a coffee with baby, try to get out every day, it does help, do you have many baby groups near you?

blushingmare · 12/02/2013 22:14

It might not be anything you've done to unsettle him, it might just be a stage he's going through. It sounds very familiar to me. I had very similar with DD pretty much when she hit 5 months - suddenly our evening settling went to pot and I was up with her all evening and then she'd wake every hour and a half throughout the night. Like you, I don't really have DH support as he works late, doesn't get home til after 9 every night and doesn't get up to her in the night. Cosleeping doesn't really help with the evenings does it, because you want some time to yourself and to have dinner!

I can't offer much more than just my sympathies and reassure you that at 7 months DD just started getting better again and now at 8 months, she's doing some amazingly good stretches during the night, so let's hope it continues! I know 2 months seems like an eternity, but you will get through it - it's amazing how you just do when you have to.

Blessyou · 12/02/2013 22:16

Here's what i do/did
Eat your meal at 5 pm
Bath and pjs
Grab some healthy snacks etc and drinks to take to your room
Cuddly stories in your bed
Milk
Sleep, in your bed, or side car cot if you prefer
Take laptop/ipad to bed and watch tv on that with headphones

Blessyou · 12/02/2013 22:17

:-D actually my post is abit of a lie...I take chocolate and juice to bed, you could take healthy snacks if you like!

jkklpu · 12/02/2013 22:17

Could you wear him in a sling for the evening?

Original poster

Janey2012 · 12/02/2013 23:00

Thank you JJJ yes I reckon it is separation anxiety & that article is useful thanks. I'll try some when dh returns at the weekend. It's harder cos it's an all new area for me & I don't know anyone so am trying to do it all with no support & it's upsetting to see the baby's temperament change so much in the evening/night when he's usually happy in the day... (Although now I think about it slightly clingier)

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 13/02/2013 21:48

When I moved towns I went along to my local nct group. Didn't make friends straightaway but did after awhile and it gave me something to look forward to each week. Might be worth looking into

teacher123 · 14/02/2013 09:19

I agree with blessyou! Eat really early, into pajamas, do bedtime routine, settle baby. Get into bed with headphones on laptop, eat biscuits, doze until DS wakes up, repeat ad infinitum! My DH works shifts, so does all sorts of funny hours, and whenever it was just me for the evening, that is what I would do! I still go to bed at 8pm and read my book whenever I get the chance :-) sounds like there's been a lot of upheaval. Hopefully it'll settle down soon!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 14/02/2013 10:32

That does sound like a good plan

NeedlesCuties · 14/02/2013 11:42

Sounds like my 24 week DD.

I put my 3 year old to bed at 7pm, then cluster feed DD till about 10pm when I go to bed. She's in a co-sleeping cot, but often ends up in the main bed with me.

I feed her, feed her some more, then feed her again. If I move away then her mouth is like a little fish mouth trying to find my nipple again, then she cries and wakens.

I think she's teething and the feel of the nipple and milk against her gum is soothing. Can't remember DS doing this at a similar age, but I think the mists of time have just made me forget!

OP, you're doing a great job, think the best thing to do is to take comfort from the fact you're not alone, and chant, "this too shall pass."

Dudley01 · 15/02/2013 21:57

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Original poster

Janey2012 · 18/02/2013 08:45

Thank you everyone for your messages and advice, you got me through last week! It was nice to know I'm not the only one! I have been doing co-sleeping which works fine, but it's difficult to deal with when my mum comes to stay as she's of the generation that believes I should leave DS to cry & he should be in bed in his own crib by 7.30 so spend the evenings trying to get him down. Also read in a book that babies should be going to bed awake now so they learn to settle themselves or it's hard to 'undo' the fact they're reliant on you to get to sleep when they're 6 months or older-any truth in this?
I now have a car which means I can get out! [excited face]! So hope to wear DS out in the day a bit more-I don't think watching me unpack boxes is very exciting for him!
blessyou I'll be getting the snacks in!
blushingmare you're right-when I've had DS all day by myself I need the evenings off to get things done or just to have some time off to myself!
Thanks again everyone x

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