terrible two's or something more

[youngmummy17]

DS is two and these past few weeks has become very naughty i.e biting,pulling hair, hitting, pushing, shouting, screaming, throwing toys etc this is happening everyday. I live with my mother still and her partner is a idiot to say the least they must shout at least 3-4 times a week i mean REALLY shout and go for it and today DS told me to 'fuck off' i was mortified am i to blame for my sons behaviour due to him living in this environment is it just the terrible two's or both i'm really hurt and feeling very stressed i don't know if this phase will pass or how much longer i can cope!

It does sound like he's being affected....are you on a waiting list for housing? If I were you, I'd consider asking your Mum to officially make you homeless...write a letter evicting you...then call the housing. You will end up in a hostel but that's got to be better than this!

You are your son's main influence, try and stay firm but calm and loving. Be his mum not just his playmate. The more he gets away with at home, the harder work he'll become outside it. When they outgrow naps but get worked up and overtired, toddlers lose the plot and lash out.

Where possible stick to a reasonable bedtime, healthy snacks not too much sugary stuff; don't give him loads of choices just make decisions for him or keep it to either A or B. Part of raising them is predicting or anticipating triggering things before DS kicks off and working round them - not giving in during a tantrum.

Does your DS spend a large proportion of the day with your mum and her partner? He is like a little sponge at this stage soaking up vocabulary and mimicking actions. If you have a way of bringing up your little boy, eg not smacking, make sure his gran is on the same page as you.

If you have no other option than to live where you are, you can only ask your mum to try not to let her grandson be in earshot when she and her dp are rowing. Some adults think it's funny to wind up or teach little kids to swear so it may not even be when tempers rise that's the problem.