HELP - Is he slow?

[haypal]

Hi everyone I need some advise desperately. My son is 19 months old and will not walk. He can pull himself around the furniture and will walk around for a while holding my hand, but the minute we try to get him to walk on his own he sits down and crawls. I am really worried about this and am wondering if i have done something wrong/not let him be independent enough! He also doesn't say anything apart from Ta, and Dada. He seems to understand things we are saying to him, but just babbles to himself a lot.
Dad just says leave him and he'll do things when he's ready, but i think he should be walking on his own by now and talking a bit.
Please Help!

What does your Health visitor say?
My children didn't talk any better than your son at that age, but they were walking early (9-10 months). Most kids do one or the other well (talking or walking). I don't think you've necessarily got cause for alarm, but not walking by 18 months is usually taken as the age where it may be worth while to get an expert opinion.

I really don't think you need to worry about independence.... Your DS may just be clever enough to realise that holding your hand is easier than trying to do it himself. That makes him clever, not lazy or dependent!

Please don't worry about him not talking, my ds1 is 22 months and still hardly ever says a word in the right context. As long as they are communicating with you in other ways like pointing or (ds1's favourite!) taking you by the hand and leading you to stuff, and they seem to understand a wide range of vocabulary, everything else will come in time.

As you are obviously very worried about all this I would recommend phoning your Health Visitor to see what they say. There was a gap of about 6 months between ds1 first standing up and then actually walking. He preferred crawling because it got him where he wanted to go a lot faster than toddling. Did he sit up, roll over etc at the usual times?

It won't be anything you have or haven't done. Physical development is a personal thing and IMO you can't make a baby walk earlier than he or she is ready to. Talk to your HV if you are worried, but I recently read a book about childcare by a nanny who worked with zillions of children (not GF btw) and she had a little boy who didn't walk until two and a half or three (can't remember which) and then just got up and walked accross the room! And grew into quite a keen walker in adulthood.

I totally agree that it won't be because of anything you have or haven't done. However, I think you should go to your GP (or HV) and ask for a referral to your local Child Development Centre. By the time it comes through things will probably be sorted out but, if not, there's no harm done.

haypal I really wouldnt worry. All children are different and develop at different times.
My ds1 did not crawl at all,he just got up one day and walked when he was 2 and never looked back. He is now a boisterous and healthy 10 yo.
My ds3 did not talk till he was 2 but walked at 13 months.

Hi,
Thanks for all the replies. I feel a little better that maybe he would just rather crawl than walk on his own, but i think i'll ask my HV just to reassure myself, then if there is something wrong they can get to the bottom of it. Thanks again

I have a nephew who is the same age, and is the same. He understands a lot but only really says da when pointing at things. He also doesn't walk yet - he can push a trolley, and stand against furniture, but really doesn't seem keen on doing either of those. He gets around very effectively on his bottom, and occassionally crawling. He has older siblings - maybe he just doesn't feel the need to talk yet, or walk. His parents don't seem particularly concerned (although to be honest if it were me I would be a bit bothered).

Not much help, but at least you are not alone.

Thanks,

It helps to know i'm not the only one out there. Maybe i am too concerned i don't know, tend to be an over cautious parent at times
Apparantely his sitter said he took 3 steps today on his own! Typical, he just wants me to look silly for worrying

Hi, My DD has just turned 5. She didn't take her 1st step until she was 21 months (and 3 days!) old. She also didn't really talk much but was her understanding was very good and she was able to communicate with lots of different actions!
She started reception class in september and now she talks NON STOP and I can't get her to sit still for more than 5 seconds!
I found that my DD's speech improved once she started nursery at 3 years old. I also used to take her to local play groups so she was often around other children that she could copy.
The best thing is to try not to worry, I know it is very hard not to, I know I was frantic most of the time! But in no time at all you'll wonder what all the fuss was about!