11.5 month old crying constantly in the day - please help

[Bodders1]

I don't normally post on mumsnet but use the site for advice but this time i am desperate..i feel like i am going mad and i an writing this in tears as i don't know what to do.

My 11.5month old DS2 was a very "good" baby until about 8 months when his sleeping deteriorated following an ear infection and hand foor and mouth - since 8 months his night time sleeping has been off and on - some nights he goes through and some nights he wakes in the night but usually a cuddle will help him get back off.

He doesn't have a dummy and settles himself to sleep at naps and in the evenings but it is the day times that are killing me. He cries and fusses constantly if he is not being held or played with and i am in touching distance - this has been going on for nearly 2 months now and apart from when he is in the buggy or asleep i feel i have to hold him constantly or listen to him wailing as if i have tried to murder him.

I did CC in the night with my DS1 but i am not sure now if i will have to do the same in the day with DS2 as i am running out of options? I have tried everything from surrounding him with toys to constantly talking to him and re-assuring him to arranging for other little ones to come round (hoping it will distract him) but nothing seems to pacify him. I am not able to get any housework done and worse sit and properly concentrate on DS1's homework with him etc or make dinner for us all. My back is also getting more and more painful as he is on the 99% centile for weight for and 11.5m old (approaching 2 stone). I should also say, he isn't crawling yet but seems to want to so he is probably also frustrated.

Is this "normal" separation anxiety ?? DS1 had it but only when i left the room whereas this is something a whole lot more intense?

Any suggestions would be really gratefully received as i do feel so low about the whole situation.

First thing I'd do is to take him to the GP and rule out any medical cause, make sure they check his ears as our gps often miss this.

It could be separation anxiety, if it is there are some tips for how to cope with it here.

Hth.

Oh sending you sympathy! My DS2 (and DS1 actully) have both been high maintenance needy babies. The endless crying and whining is enough to drive you insane. My DS1 got massively better once he could walk and totally better by the time he could talk and understand the world better. It could just be normal separation anxiety though which will ease up on it's own. Best thing to do is just go with it for now and it willl get better. I do think since it all seems to have come on suddenly then a trip to GPs is probably worthwhile. Both my babies have been big criers and we've tried everything. DS2 is 13 months and is still a champion whinger. It's not even like they've been happy to be held, in my case they have whinged to be picked up, whinged when I talk to them, whinged when I do cuddle them and sit them on my knee and soon slithered away and got down, then whinged to be picked up again....arrrgh! I think I just don't make happy babies. :-(

Op do you think that if he could communicate better with you it would help? Only asking because our DS was quite high maintenance but baby signing really helped. We got a book from the library on how to do it.

I know exactly how you feel... I went through a stage which seemed to go on for months of dd clinging to me from the moment she woke up to the moment she went to bed! If i ever put her down or left her even for a few seconds she would cry and cry and cry. Even if i moved an inch she would start crying thinking i was going to leave her. Its so exhausting! Thankfully as soon as she started walking confidently she has got much better...i think she was very frustrated. She has also started sleeping better too! Hopefully it will get better soon....I know how hard it is!

Im so glad you posted this, I was just about to post about my 14 mnth old dd. I hate to admit this but I am sick to the back teeth of her by the end of the day.

like someone mentioned from the minute she wakes up she whines and cries for me to pick her up then wriggles to get down then cries and clings to my legs and raises her arms which goes on all day until my partner comes home and I ask him to cuddle her while i cook dinner and she proper falls apart screaming and hysterical to come back to me so I end up cooking with her in one arm and shouting instructions to my partner on how to cook tea.

Its soooooooo draining. then about once every 3 weeks she'll have a couple of lovely happy funny days and then goes back to miserable clingyness aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

do they grow out of this... when?!!!!!!!!!

I second what someone else said about trying sign language, that does definitely help with their frustrations.

What about a sling too? (would the weight be spread better)? Then you could still get things done.

I had this (though dd2 was ill) and nearly went bad. I got a ssc (semi-structured carrier) and just put her on my back while i got on. I found it less stressful to go with it and not fight it.