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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS (nearly 3) seems to have an imaginary friend - am I a bad parent?

34 replies

EugenesAxe · 05/02/2013 17:32

That's it really... he has a sister of 15 months and they play together, but she's still mainly in the 'disrupting his play' rather than 'joining his play' phase as far as he's concerned.

Today he mentioned in the car 'Buppy' who was his 'big friend' & I sort of left it as a one-off comment... but he's just said something about his tea being 'Buppy's tea in the next room'. I do play with him but have a house to run so don't give him my undivided attention... just wondered if this was common or a bad thing that means I'm not really engaging with him enough. I don't think I'm much different from other parents but would be interested in stories.

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JammySplodger · 05/02/2013 17:57

Totally normal (in our house at least). DS1 had an imaginary best friend Panky for a few years, he used to cling on to the car roof when we went on holiday as there wasn't a car seat big enough, what with him being 40ft tall. He could also fly and say the alphabet backwards but went off to live with his best friend Chim in Germany when DS1 started school. We kind of miss him now but DS2 has just started mentioning his new friend Sig, so looks like more fantastic adventures for us.

Original poster

EugenesAxe · 05/02/2013 18:19

Haha! That sounds excellent... OK I'll stop being all neurotic. My sister had one but she was 8-10 years younger than me and my other sister, so we thought it was understandable.

OP posts:

deleted203 · 05/02/2013 18:21

Very, very common. You're not a bad parent, and it's not a bad thing. I always thought it was interesting that they'd use their imagination in this way.

Pancakeflipper · 05/02/2013 18:22

Normal in our house. My 4 yr old has various friends who I never see.

I used to have an entire imaginary family. I can still remember their names and they lived in the Lego house I built for them.

Murtette · 05/02/2013 22:01

DD has one. Its fab. If she's asking me to play with her and I need to do some washing or something I just suggest she and imaginery friend go and have a tea party or something & off she goes and spends half an hour or so playing with this completely made up friend.

HumphreyCobbler · 05/02/2013 22:04

I think it is a sign that the child is very imaginative. It is great.

DS had a little boy that lived in the mirror. He was called Alan. If we were out and about and he caught sight of his reflection, he would say in tones of great surprise "Alan! What are YOU doing here"

Shakey1500 · 05/02/2013 22:06

Humphrey I nearly woke DS up laughing at that! Classic.

Murtette · 05/02/2013 22:07

I'm also giggling at Humphrey's DS. And where did the name Alan come from? DD's imaginary friend has a much more exotic name.

Original poster

EugenesAxe · 05/02/2013 22:49

Maybe he was watching the groundhog (or whatever it is) on that brilliant animals-dubbed-with-comedians'-voices show. I always forget its name but it's Jason Manford (?) doing the 'Alan! Alan! Al! Al! Alan!'.

All the stories are very amusing I think... what's the name then, Murtette? Unless its a give away.

OP posts:

HoneyDragon · 05/02/2013 22:54

Dd (also 3) has her friend "Willy down the road". He doesn't live with us, and we have yet to ascertain which road he actually lives down. But from all accounts he is lovely young man.

MsPickle · 05/02/2013 23:04

Ds had a friend but he didn't hang around for long. He did have an incident on a tube escalator though when he didn't listen and get off in time and was dragged under the top step. Thankfully there was a secret tunnel that got him through the ticket barrier and back to us. Phew. The gorilla on the other hand keeps popping up.

sashh · 06/02/2013 07:45

I love these.

Every few months someone asks if it is normal to have an imaginary friend and you all have fantastic tales.

I seem to remember Bob the Builder moved in with one MNer, and then moved all his friends in.

yellowsubmarine53 · 06/02/2013 07:50

My 3 year old DS has an imaginary dragon called Ed. He's very friendly and all, but it's a bit tricky when he comes into the house as we all keep stepping on his feet (which are rather large).

throckenholt · 06/02/2013 07:53

My DS1 had an imaginery friend called noo-noo - I can't for the life of me remember anything else at all about it now (DS is 11 now). My other 2 didn't have imaginary friends.

Either way is perfectly normal. He will grow out of it in time.

HoneyDragon · 06/02/2013 08:28

Don't get me started on imaginary dragons! Ds's was called Jason.

Gingerbreadpixie · 06/02/2013 13:19

I had an imaginary friend around the same age! He was clearly preferable to my "annoying" little brother, 18 months younger.

Totally normal :)

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 06/02/2013 13:24

DS had a little boy that lived in the mirror. He was called Alan.

ROARING at that! I don't even know why!

Why Alan FFS?

Aren't kids weird?

thegreylady · 06/02/2013 17:15

dgs has an 84 year old sister who is a ballerina!!!!![yes 84-eighty four]
her name is Sophie

thegreylady · 06/02/2013 17:15

dgs is 3.11

DoIgetastickerforthat · 06/02/2013 17:26

Also loving Alan!

DS 2 had imaginary dragon friends, Rainbow Dragon, Prickly Dragon and Hungry Dragon at that age.

DS 3 (3) thinks he is DonkeyKong and spends most of his time on his haunches and knuckles, beating his chest and saying "mahoohoo". We have to start every sentence with "oo oo, do you want a biscuit, oo ooo" or he won't respond. Children are, as a rule, bonkers.

PolterGoose · 06/02/2013 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoItToJulia · 06/02/2013 18:31

We lived with Bernie for a long time....when we moved we had to leave him behind for the new family.

HumphreyCobbler · 06/02/2013 18:32

It made us laugh too.

Until the day that he dramatically said "I want to go home"
"You ARE home" says I.
"No, this is Alan's home. I want to go to MY home"

And to add a final, scary twist, we then found out that in 1911 there was a young lad living here as a servant whose name was Allen Fisher........

we will ignore the fact that Allen grew up and fought in ww1 and left this house and didn't die in a creepy accident etc etc

wordfactory · 06/02/2013 18:36

I had lots of imaginary friends OP. In fact I still do - I just call them characters in my books! A healthy imagination is a gift.

EmpressOfThePuddle · 06/02/2013 18:46

DD had Mr Nobody, Mrs I Don't Know and The Inquisible Man when she was at nursery
The three of them got up to all sorts and she thought it was terribly unfair when she got into trouble for it.

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