DD being disruptive at school

[mememummy]

So DD(5) started school in September and initially seemed to settle well however her behaviour got slowly worse the teacher says she is bright but fidgets all the time, to get a drink, go to the loo etc. she is also bossy and interferes with what others are doing therefore doesn't do her tasks she isn't violent but she is opinionated. At home she is a lovely helpful child but does have tantrums and takes ages to do things like get dressed as she gets distracted easily. She has massive tonsils and we have been referred to ent as she wakes frequently at night to get a drink as she has a dry mouth due to breathing through her mouth, also her hearing seems to have gone down hill since her last bout of tonsilitus. The TA doesnt agree that this could be the cause she says my DD is just naughty. School have done reward charts etc but they always get scrapped after 2 weeks as they aren't working something I don't agree with as I think 2 weeks is to short a timeframe. They are supposed to be organising a meeting with the SEN and key stage head to discuss her behaviour but are yet to do this....

I suppose I just need to know of any one else has been through this and what else I can do to help my DD hates going to school now and told me she is naughty so she can have some peace and quiet on time out ?!? TIA

Sorry it's so long don't want to drop feed x

Sorry my grammar is shocking am on phone x

Hi, I have had similar problems with my dd who is very nearly 5. However her school have been much more proactive and she is on SEN register and has a referral to CAMHS.
My dd has a new reward system at home and school which works much better than the reward charts and the normal school,behaviour system.
She has special time. The play therpaist reccomended it. Basically they get a box and decorate it (dd's at school is an empty shoebox with wrapping paper on, at home I got a smaller shoe box and put stickers, glitter and wrote 'special time' in a different colour glitter), at school she has my little Ponys, at home she has a Nintendo DS that was donated to her. At school she starts off with 5 minutes. She loses a minute for bad behaviour and gains a minute when she has completed a task without running to the loo or hiding under the table! At home she starts with 10 minutes and the same rules apply.

My dd has problems with chaos and noise (which suprises me as she normally is the cause!) but I would ask if they could allow her some time outside the classroom at abnormally loud times. Like I do dds numbers/phonics in the library because she couldn't cope with the chaos and would be disruptive and throw tantrums.

I would find out who the senco is and arrange to talk to them. It can't be good if your dd hates school. Be straight with them and tell them what your dd has said.

I really feel for you and your dd x

having same problems with my DS age 4, and school is being very hands off in terms of SENCo or facilitating any changes ( its a private one so quite frankly they don't have to or are definitely not interested in it). So we are changing to state system because if there is a bigger problem then at least he'll get support. In the meantime I love the idea of those boxes dinkysmummy, think I might do one at home. we've neve had much luck with reward systems up until now.

Dinky I fear she would end up with no time however talking to the SENCO seems good she's a popular little girl I don't want her labeled but I just want her happy will u let me know what CAMHS say? I don't think she is autistic as my sister is and they are so different she's sat colouring next to me now I'm wondering if its partly a personality clash between her and the TA as the days she is in charge are the worst x

Hi,

If she ends up with no time, she ends up with no time! she will soon learn if she wants the special time she has to be good. (my dd had no minutes tonight because she had a huge battle with me over nothing on the way to the bus then had a major meltdown and physically attacked me and when that was over refused to walk home!) I know that might be a bit more drastic than what you get from your dd.. Or not.. I have no idea. However the special time has been going for 4 weeks and so far it's lasted. Behaviour charts ect although tried for months were a wase of time as they were only effective for a week!
Talking the senco won't label her forever. The main thing will be she gets the right things put in place. They might find once she doesn't have the TA anymore she is better. I think half my dds meltdowns at school are to do with her teacher. (who has admitted she doesnt seem to have a connection with my dd, not in the way the deputy head does or the TA from before Xmas.)

I will post on here once she has been to CAMHS but it might not be for a while, dinky will be discussed at a CAF planning meeting next tuesday and we go from there. You know the NHS, slow as slow can be most of the time!

I hope things get better :)

Please please ge her hearing checked. If she can't hear well she will get distracted and bored easily and although you may think she can hear ok at home the background noise of the classroom might just be too much. Ear, nose and throat are so easily linked.

Try HV or GP for hearing test referral before you see ENT

Thanks Chief I will do, Dinkywe will def try the minutes thing :)