Help me deal with this!!

[iliketea]

DD has been tantrumming for about an hour because DH went to work (as usual) and she refuses to let me do anything crying "i just want daddy" over and over. Everytime I think she's calmed down and I try to comfort her, the screaming and pushing me away starts all over again.

She has always been a daddy's girl (DH aware of this and always includes me in everything to ensure Dd knows that he won't exclude me); but lately it has got much worse. I work PT and for the last few weeks, my days off with DD have been us stuck in the housr because she tantrums about doing anything without DH.

I can't work out how we can break the cycle - I don't shout, I offer cuddles to help soothe her, suggest activities she normally loves, but I'm at the point where I'm thinking about working FT because I can't stand the battle anymore.

All suggestions welcome - I'm getting desperate.

Can he start something with all three of you before he goes, then slip off when she's interested?
Ask her to make a picture for him to take to work tomorrow.
Have a little present that she can open after he goes (can be something little like an apple for break, or a pencil, or socks.
Set up a CD player for her where she can play a story after he's gone.
You find something you think she will find fun and as soon as he's gone, sit down and start doing it with squeaks of excitement and see if she'll come over.

How old is she?

I know you want to comfort her but perhaps go and get busy with something close by, let her calm down and come to you.

Ds2 was very like this w. dh. It was a phase. Please don't take it personally, that would be very scarey for a small child - she needs to know you can handle her emotions cause she can't.

Also remember that although tantrums are signs of big emotions, they are not generally signs of great sadness. I doubt your dd is devastated that your dh is not there, I suspect she's upset and angry that the world is not as she would like it to be.

Sometimes they keep on because they know it's attention getting. Are you ignoring her?

So far, I have been dealing with it by

• ignoring her, telling her to le me know when she is ready to play / do whatever fun thing I start without her.
• If crying goes on.for more than 5mins, asking her if she wants a cuddle / story. If she refuses and continues to tantrum, I ignore and go back to.doing what I was doing.

I never give in to.the tantrum but I do worry.about how long it goes on for - it"s surely not good for her to cry for 90minutes straight.

We have tried a system where if she doesn't make a fuss of dh leaving the house, then he brings home a little present for her (small things - a story / magazine / satsuma etc); but if I remind her of it, she.tells me she doesn't want it.anyway.

She's 3.5 yo - she's demanded daddy do.everything since she was about 18mo, but it has got particularly worse in the last couple of months. It's odd, because other than me being off 2 days during the week with her, we have a pretty even split in parenting duties, so it's not like she needs to.demand his attention.

90 min straight is not unusual, in my certain children. Just don't fall into the trap of paying it too much attention. This sounds really harsh but what she is tantrumming for is unreasonable, at the end of the day.