Any advice? Toddler hitting and pinching (me and other children at nursery)

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

When I picked up my 17mo DS from nursery this evening they asked me what he is 'usually like with other children'. It turns out he's been pushing, hitting and snatching at nursery and that he's started hurting other children.

He's been doing it to me for ages, but I always just thought it was something he'd grow out of. At home we simply say 'gently' and he will instantly stroke me instead of hit me. Obviously other babies can't do this.

Any advice? Have you tried anything for your toddler that worked?

Thank you!

My DD went through a similar phase at that age, more biting than hitting, and we did the same as you. Try to redirect into a stroke or kiss before the actual bite/hit or if too late took to one side and made a big fuss over the "victim", it was usually her twin sis! My nursery were supportive, not the first time that they had to deal with this sort of thing, won't be that either I'm sure. She got through it but had another phase for a couple of weeks at about 24 months. Just frustration at not being able to speak/do what's in her head I think.

Thank you. The victim is usually me so I can't make a fuss of myself, but will get DH to.

I was a bit surprused at nursery's attitude tbh. They presented it as an 'issue' and don't seem to have tried anything themselves to stop it iyswum. He did it once or twice at his previous nursery (we moved house, and hence nursery at Christmas) and they told me they'd introduced 'gentle hands', which is when we started encouraging 'stroking'.

I don't expect nursery to parent my child and I take full responsibility for him, but I was a bit surprised that the new nursery were raising it as a concern (first day it's happened) rather than saying "we tried this. What do you do at home?" AIBU?

I don't think you are being unreasonable - as the other reply stated, this certainly will not be the first or the last time they have this kind of behaviour to address.

Our child has always been a bit 'bitey' tbh, but from Sept - Christmas it got really bad and we had to go to nursery to discuss it, however, they were v supportive, more along the lines of 'what can we do to address the situation' so we were all singing from the same hymn sheet, as it were.

It did coincide with him moving rooms and I think he was finding it difficult to settle, however, things have improved recently (fingers crossed!) and I think he is just maturing a little bit. I think they are generally phases and the nursery should recognise this too...child behaviour is their area of expertise afer all!

Please do not feel bad (as it is very easy too, I was really beating myself up over it!).

As for solutions, I think every child is different (and of course their age dictates as to what might work) but it might be a case of trial and error until you find something that he responds to. x