2 yr old CONSTANTLY hitting baby sister

[CravingSunshine]

Hi All, I know there are threads on hitting and I do think I have tried nearly everything. This has been going on since last June and we're getting nowhere 7 months down the line; in fact it's getting worse.
Has anyone managed to solve it? I have tried:
-controlled time out, outside the room
-standing by wall with me holding his arms whilst giving firm talk (Tizzie Hall's holding technique)
-ignoring him and cuddling her when he hurts her and makes her cry

He is energetic and needs to be outdoors so we spend all morning at the playground but even then he still does it when we come home. He gets lots of attention (partly because his sister is independent and will play by herself) and I read him stories and spend time playing with him. As soon as I move onto something else such as tidying the kitchen or spending time with his sister, he cannot seem to get stuck into any activity by himself and starts laying into her (13m).

I have also started him at nursery two mornings but it hasn't really helped stop his hitting. He used to hit other kids but thankfully now it's just his sister for the most part.

Has anyone tried a technique that has worked? It's gotten to the point where I can barely spend any time in the house and I'm getting tired of that and tired of the playground. Surely we should be able to work as a family indoors?

I had this for months.I had the most jealous DS1 ever,and it started 3 days after DS2 came home when he was 18.5m.We had scratching and hitting for months.It was very tiring.I used to use naughty corner,or physical separation,strapping DS1 into pushchair in the hall,making him say sorry,cuddling baby & ignoring DS1 etc etc.Naughty corner worked best,along with saying "I'm not happy with you."It kind of naturally improved as DS1 got older (now 3.5) and as DS2 got older and started to interact more.Now they can sort of play together ..chasing games,pushing trains along the floor etc .There is definitely still some very one sided wrestling and snatching of toys but on the whole DS1 s behaviour has improved.Think it comes with age,improving language,understanding rules,discipline learnt at nursery etc.All I can say is be consistent,you sound like you are doing all the right things and in time it will improve.

Thanks Beatrix. That's really helpful. He is currently strapped into her high chair where he can't get out, after having practically squashed her on the floor. You're right, it is tiring. Fast forward to Age 6.. or 26 ?

I'm not experienced in this at all but reading your post, if he's stopped doing it at nursery, do you know what technique they used as it might help at home?

We had this for AGES. DD1 is exactly 2 yrs older than DD2 and would hit / pinch / bite / push over her sister. It stopped eventually although they continued to fight. I'm not sure that I ever really worked out the best approach, but I think it was a withdrawal of attention from DD1, removal of DD2 from situation, not getting too cross with DD1 (i.e. pick up and remove DD2 with a firm but not too angry comment of 'we don't hit' to DD1), and trying to really praise DD1 for specific good things when they happened. To be honest my DD1 and DD2 continued to fight almost non stop and drive me to distraction for a good few years past babyhood until I almost despaired of their relationship, but now (aged 6 and 8) they are really good friends and very kind and loving to each other.

Gosh Nelly, that's a heck of a long time but I can see that this is a habit that doesn't die hard. Good that yours are friends now. I'm going to try giving DS1 no attention when he hits but sometimes I just LOSE it and strap him into the pushchair (mainly when he's pinned DD2 rugby-style to the floor...)