Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

DD 2.10 and no napping - driving us and her round the bend..

8 replies

missmakesstuff · 03/02/2013 22:30

DD is generally happy and active, she gets lots of exercise, swimming, running around outside etc, but has always had a few problems sleeping, especially naps - she fights them like mad, but still needs them. It is really beginning to become a problem again after a period of settled sleep and a sort of routine.

We can sometimes cajole her into having 45mins during the day, but more often than not she isn't sleeping at all, gets up at 6am and isn't usually in bed before 7pm, and is beside herself with tiredness by 4 or 5pm. I would put her to be earlier, but then she just wakes earlier, and I often don't get home from work and collecting her until 6pm, sometimes later. She is with my parents during the day and by the time I collect her she often at this stage is so tired she is hitting, biting, and pulling my hair (only does it to me) refusing to get coat on etc and generally being a nightmare. She won't eat when tired or be reasoned with - tonight she asked for food then wouldn't eat it, asked for a bath then wouldn't get in it and eventually fell asleep on me at 6pm and I put her to bed. I know she will either be awake at 4am screaming (as she has been the last few nights) or awake at the crack of dawn and the whole thing will begin again until we can persuade her to sleep a little bit. She will often say she is tired and agree to a nap, but like today will go to bed for a bit and then get up.

I am just so fed up and upset for her when she gets into such a state when tired, she is waking up tired too and just doesn't want to do anything but watch bloomin peppa pig...so then isn't getting fresh air or exercise as tired and has a horrible day because she doesn't want to eat and ends up wetting herself as she is too tired to realise she needs a wee - which upsets her too, its all just so much easier when she sleeps...

If anyone has any advice please let me know - or just some indication that this will pass....

OP posts:
lorisparkle · 03/02/2013 23:43

I do think that a huge amount of toddler 'issues' are the nap / no nap dilemma. I had to stop ds3 having a nap because I needed him in bed before ds1 and 2 so I can focus on their homework. I just have to bite the bullet and accept he is going to be 'orrible from about the time ds1 and 2 come home from school until I put him to bed. Having ds1 and 2 does help because I know it is just a phase and will gradually get better.

missmakesstuff · 04/02/2013 11:44

I hope so! She really is horrible, it always seems to be me that gets it too. Not so many problems with my stents, but they don't work so don't have all the other things to do that I have, life is just so busy for us and I suppose I just have to accept I am not going to get anything done till she is in bed. She didn't wake in the night and was much chirpier this morning, was lovely in fact. Maybe I just need to get her to bed earlier, but then sh doesn't get to see her at all, which isn't nice for him.
Thanks for the reassurance though!

OP posts:
mathsconundrum · 04/02/2013 11:48

It's a transitional time. I would accept that she is giving up naps but if you're able, take her out in the car when she's beside herself to give her 30 to 45 mins nap. That should reset her for a bit.

Miggsie · 04/02/2013 11:55

Sounds like she is fighting sleep (for some reason) or has lost the ability to "self settle".
The 45 mins is not helping as she won't get into deep sleep in that time - an hour and a half is better.

I got some "meditation for children" CDs from Amazon for DD.

Pick the best time and get her to lie down - even if you have to be in the room, and listen tot he CD. Works a treat with my DD...although she still gets restless.

The voice is very calming and gets them to picture a journey. However, don't wait till she is obviously tired - as she will have lost the ability to concentrate by then. You will need to introduce the practice before she shows massive tiredness signs.

I found 1pm - after lunch as a "quiet time". DD did her lying down listening to the CD (later I found that an audio book was just as good) and I went and sat down and read a book - or got my masseur to visit!!!

Human beings are the only animal that fights sleep - it is a very interesting topic!!!!

missmakesstuff · 04/02/2013 19:57

Yep, mine would be a facinating subject for research all right - she used to get by on 20 mins a day even when tiny, we were often up into the night with a horribly overtired baby screaming away...it is one of the reasons we have been putting off number 2!

Do you remember what the cds were called Miggsie? I wonder if she is too young for listening to them though - maybe an audio book might work. I could see if I can bribe her inspire her to lay down for a sleep with a little CD player or something.

We tried the car maths and she just screams. It's something I didn't want to get into doing either as my mum doesn't drive and she is often with her on her own.

I know its a time of big changes for them, but just how do they go from needing a sleep during the day to not needing one? A while back she started not sleeping every other day and we were ticking along ok, but she just seems to be so tired she can't function past a certain time - we had meltdown today, several times, as she wouldn't sleep today, despite being out in her buggy for ages.

AAARGH!!

OP posts:
AbbyCat · 04/02/2013 20:14

We just have quiet time now and I find most days he will nap anyway. I got tired of nap time battles where he would scream his heart out for an hour and end up even more tired. I just tell him its quiet time and we have to lie down and even if he doesnt sleep its ok. I also have 3mo dd and its my chance to get a lie down too! Straight after lunch we all go to bed and DS has to stay in his cot till 2 (a good 1.5h). He will usually fall asleep by then. I push bedtime back by half hour if he's napped.

omama · 04/02/2013 20:38

What time do you try putting her down for a nap? Maybe you are trying too early? My ds is 2.5 & I've recently had to push naptime back to 1.30pm (he gets up at 6.45-7am) if I try earlier he's not tired enough. If he wakes post 8am he wont nap, on those days i put him to bed super early at 6.30-7pm latest. I find keeping his day to around 10.5hrs max works best for him & stops him being overtired.

If your dd point blank refuses to even take a later nap, i def think early bedtimes are the way to go. Its always a worry that they might get up even earlier but if you catch them before OT sets in they can actually sleep for longer. Last night shows it does work. Good luck!

missmakesstuff · 04/02/2013 22:14

Thanks all - a few things to try. Had a brainwave and remembered my 'sound asleep' pillow, that I had to stop using as DH (over sensitive hearing and an insomniac...wonder where DD gets it from) could hear my hypnosis CD's...so thought I might take the speaker and put it into a smaller pillow for her, find a cheap MP3 player and a night garden story/music CD I found and see if we can encourage her to do quiet lying down to hear it...

She used to do a quiet lie down when she really refused sleep and that would be enough to charge her batteries, but it doesn't work anymore. I guess she could just be growing, making her really cranky? She ate and ate today apparently, but then she slept better last night. I don't think I can get her to bed earlier, tonight we couldn't even get her in the bath, she was in bed by 6:45pm. DH saw her for 5 (miserable) minutes, me for 30mins. We don't get any fun time with her anymore. Working full time sucks.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page