Does any of you feel this way about ur dc going to pre school/school?

[workingonitagain]

hi everyone

Was just wondering if any of you have ever felt this way about dc starting pre school/school.
ds1 has been at pre school since sept and he is very happy and adjusted to it. however i still have that feeling that he should be with me and that he'll never get looked after and prepared for real life as well as i could do it for him.
im not a clingy mum (although im sure this makes it sound like i am ) and i have always taught them for independecy which they are but somehow i don't feel happy about him going.
And i don't know if it's because deep down i have some sort of negative feeling towareds the school about me being questioned about ds1's bruise as he lied to them about how he got it, even tho i feel they did the right thing.
im trying really hard to feel positive about him going to pre school but find it very difficult.
Anyone else felt the same when dc started school?
will this get easier?

Never felt like I was the best person in the world to look after them (I must be deficient in many maternal feelings).
Did feel a bit like school had "stolen" them away.
What are you doing with your time when they're in school/pre-sch? It's healthiest for all of you that you have a variety of interests.

thanks lljkk, he only goes 2 days a week and i have a 16 month old brother. don't get me wrong i don't feel that i want to be with him all the time. i look forward to doing my own stuff. i think it's just me being all so controlling and think everyone has to react to him the same way as i do which i know is stupid. the other thing i keep worrying about, is that he'll meet other kids and he'll be influenced and misbehave (im not kidding myself he's not an angel himself :)).i just know that it's how it was when i was younger. Again i know that's just life and it will happen at some point.
i think i just have to accept with the fact that, that's life and it's only just the begining. hopefully i'll get better as time goes on

I felt like that with DD1 and in retrospect it was because I did not have full confidence in the pre-school! I kept telling myself I was being silly. We moved and DD2 went to another preschool and I had none of the feelings....nor did I worry about DD1 who had begun school by then.

Are you happy with the preschool in all aspects of the care they offer?

thanks Mrs Mushroom
i think i am a bit insecure for various reasons (1 im not british and it's a small village pre school, 2 since that incident i feel a bit unsure about everything) dp (who is british) keeps telling me that it's all just in my head so i'll just keep trying to make the best of this couple of years for him and hope that once he starts school i'll feel differently. Also dp always wanted them to go to private school but it doesn't look like we are going to be able to afford it and so im trying to deal with all the "con" of state schools :(

We left a private for a state (an outstanding one but still..) and we find it's MUCH easier to fit into state if you're just someone with a normal income.

As for the bruise thing...lots of Mums on MN have had similar. It's a sign the preschool are looking out for the kids...which is a good thing.

Thanks MrsMushroom for your comment. It's made me feel a lot better about things. you are right about school i guess again all the thoughts come from my insecurities thanks again x

About the fear that he will be led astray by other children- try to think of his early days at school as a relatively safe training ground where he can practise something he is going to have to cope with sooner or later.

It is a time for him to learn that it is possible to stand up against temptation, that there are certain rules about good behaviour which both you and other adults agree on, and that you will never excuse his misbehaviour by blaming another child for leading him astray. That is the learning that will keep him safe as a teen- and, believe me, you will care just as much about his safety when he is a teen.

Think of giving them roots and giving them wings-they do need age appropriate independence. We all want to wrap them in cotton wool, but it isn't good for them!

thanks cory and exoticfruits i completely agree with what you are saying i guess it's just all very new and unknown for me. in regards to the influenc bit all i can think of is my childhood with my brother and sister. they got led (not sure if they needed so much leading) into all sorts of troubles (we didn't grow up in this country) and with me while there were loads of temptations, i was just simply not interested in all those kind of stuff but i don't know how much of that was anything to do with parenting or type of personalities or just pure luck

They are in danger of being led by others if they are segregated and don't get time to work things out for themselves - they need to learn to co operate and get on with others by being with them.

Don't worry - we all worry about them- it doesn't change as they get older!