Potty Training Problems - Help!!!

[stripey]

I am having unbelievable trouble trying to get my DS1 potty trained. He is 3 and 4mths and I have been trying to train him for the last 5 months. Just when we seem to be getting somewhere it all goes wrong again. He has been out of nappies and pullups for at least 3 months and I have just cleaned up any accidents but he has gotten so bad over the last couple of weeks I have had to put a pullup back on him for Playgroup today.
He has gone through days maybe even a whole week without an accident in the past but this week he has pooed his underpants at least twice a day and often has pooed his nappy when getting up in the morning. Until yesterday he was weeing on the toilet but yesterday wet his pants in Playgroup, at somebody's house and again when he got home. None of my friend's children have this problem and normally he never has accidents at Playgroup even if he does at home.
I just don't know what to try next, I have tried bribery, sweets, money, threats, punishment all to no avail. The thing is it doesn't seem to bother him at all, he just doesn't care and will often deny he has pooed himself, other times he will go to the toilet flush it and clean himself up. Even when I say well you can't have a magazine today now he will reply "never mind maybe I will get one tomorrow".
Has anyone else experienced anything like this as I am feeling like he is the only one with this problem. The other point should mention is his Dad has been working away a lot recently and it does seem to really upset him but unfortunately there is nothing we can do about that. I am not even sure if it is related?

Went through similar with ds at a ltitle older. He had been dry for about 6 months when he relapsed. It also coincided with an unsettled period - dh was working abroad, we moved a month later to join him, I had dd 3 months later and he started a new preschool. It took about 6 months to fully resolve itself. He would also tend to get engrossed in his games, pee a bit, then a lot more as if once he had started it didn't matter.

Sadly no amount of cajoling, bribery, anger, ignoring it really stopped it until he decided that he really wanted to be clean and dry, and that took a lot of reasoning. It is incredibly frustrating when you they can but don't/won't. Perhaps keep a sticker chart going but avoid pressure ?

hth, if only that you now know you are not alone. btw I rarely hear of girls doing this and that at least gives me hope for dd !