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Nearly 4 yr old DD hugging and paying excessive compliments to strangers/people she barely knows...

3 replies

EggsOvaryZee · 01/02/2013 14:01

3.9 DD very verbal. Also very challenging.

Lately, she is doing this weird thing of paying excessive compliments to (mainly) women. It can be people she knows (nursery staff) or complete strangers.

EG: We were at a class for older sibling. DD goes up to a much older (12?) girl and starts saying: "I love your earrings" - girl looks at her a bit funny, but says "Ta" and turns away. Next thing, DD has said "I like your x, y, z" lots of times combined with hugging her leg!

This sounds petty but it's doing my head in. I also find it very embarassing if we're in the school Q to pick up sibling and DD starts doing this to all the other mums (who I don't know) - I, of course, try to move her way 'gently'....and we have talked about people we don't know etc....and lately started to try to have conversations about it not being 'comfortable' for some people, but she's only 3.9 and it's very tricky. I don't want ot have to 'apolgise' fopr her to to her mums cos what message must that be sending out to her when in her eyes I'm guessing she's just 'trying' to be 'nice'?

Any advice? I don't want to knock out the confidence/friendliness aspect...and I don't want to fill her with a fear of people, but at the same time don't want her to turn into a people pleaser?

I'm thinking it must be an attention thing? Or is this how 'girls' make friends?! I've no idea. She will mainly do it with adults - who nearly always smile - but I don't want her to think this is normal or acceptable. Or that these physical things matter!

She often comes on too strong with most people, she's very loud etc...HELP!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mathsconundrum · 01/02/2013 16:06

There's a liitle girl in Dd's class who has always done this. When she was 4 wish you got a gentle hug now she's 7 she grabs everyone and squeezes them tight like a boa constrictor. She is very clever, brilliant at drama etc and can also be aggressive with her parents.school and parents are trying to help her stop hugging everyone.

mathsconundrum · 01/02/2013 16:08

I've been trying to research it because this little girl's behaviour isn't like any I've come across. She seems to have barely any inhibitions.

InNeedOfBrandy · 01/02/2013 16:11

I don't think it's that strange, it sounds like she's trying to make friends and be nice.

Lots of dc are very huggy this age and have no clue of personal space. I would stop making her feel being nice and herself is something wrong.

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