2.7 y.o. Naughty all the time. What am I doing wrong?!!:(

[mammainlove]

We are chilled out parents, only shout when we really need to, she has a good diet, is given lots of love. We go to playgroups nearly every day. She is super bright, has loads of toys. she just appears to have lots of pent up aggression in her. she wants to hurt her baby brother and other babies at playgroups. she is difficult, screams and struggles when trying to get herdressed. screams when we put tv off. she doesnt watch much. I just feel like I'm getting to my wits end with her . please help

Perhaps you are too chilled out?

Its hard to advice without knowing what you do now. A lot of what you say sounds like a typical 2 year old really!

How do you discipline her?

If she is having a tantrum, I try and calm her down, bring loving, giving her space. if shes hit or is screaming too much, we put her outside for a minute.

ppl say this is what 2year olds do. but at playgroups we are always last to leave, it's a absolute battle to get her coat on etc and in pushchair. I don't see anyone else like this, or as bad.

She sounds like a normal 2.7 year old to me.

Ignore the tantrums. Praise good behaviour. Recite 'it's just a phase'.

How about a countdown? E.g. Get in your pushchair or I'll put you in. 3....2.....1.... Put her in the pushchair. It took a while with my DS of having to follow through and manhandle him into things but now I only have to get to 2 and he does whatever it is.

Really? but WHY WOULD she want to hurt her brother, be so naughty until I'm in tears, shout at her. I'm so loving to her and praise her all the time!! :(

Because she's 2!

My DS who similarly wants for nothing went through a phase when he started Pre-school of hitting and shoving the other kids. It was mortifying. But we had lots of discussion about being nice, what he could do instead, role playing situations, praise when we got a good report from Pre-school and not being allowed to listen to his songs in the car on the way home when we didn't. It took a few months but now he's delightful and so kind to everyone.

Also, baby brother...how old? She could be acting out against him because of the attention he is taking from her.

Exactly, because she's 2. She's pushing boundaries, learning what's right and what's wrong. It has nothing to do with your parenting.

She will outgrow it and do something else you don't like soon enough!

Why would she want to hurt her brother?

• she knows doing so will get her attention?
• she is jealous he is getting attention?

How old is he? Does she 'help' with things to do with him?

We have DS1 who is 2.6 and DS2 who is 5 months. We have gotten over battles to get into pushchair and car seat by "counting to 3" which he sees as a game! Also picking a toy to play with in car or pushchair, or a book to read. I give "2 minute" warnings before leaving places where possible and he knows this means we're about to go home, then stick to it. Before TV programme ends, emphasise repeatedly this is the last one, then stick to it, regardless of how upset he gets - ignore, stay calm and distract with other toys. Think consistency is key. With baby bro, it is really hard... he has been very sweet and gentle with him recently though. Try to encourage playing all together, reading all together, sharing, him helping change nappies and at bath time, so they're all both involved and included. It does sound like a bit of attention seeking?? and also typical of terrible two's!! How much time to you spend playing with her? If anything like us, I know I can be very guilty of too many playgroups and time spent on his own playing there or at home, or in front of the tv while I cook dinner or do chores, when really he wants more time with me.... Just a thought x

I found the techniques in "calmer, easier , happier parenting" by noelle janis-norton very useful with my ds. it says from age 3 but you can use the techniques as soon as you know they understand what you're saying. My ds was 2 and 10 months, and was resistant to every aspect of daily routine. He wouldn't get dressed, eat breakfast, brush his teeth, put coat of when it was time to go anywhere etc. The book explains how to prepare for success by talking stuff through with your child, and how to praise them for good behaviour and show understanding for their mood swings. there's lots of other stuff in there too. It's worked well for me because ds is much more cooperative now at 3yrs and 1 month.

Thank you. All very interesting,& helpful. especially the last comment. DS2 is 7m.o. Funny my dad just said I could be taking her to too many playgroups. I always thought this was a good thing!

*last 2 comments

Yep, she's two. Mine's similar but she's much much better if she's had lots of warning about going somewhere or doing something. I do the countdown thing a lot too. I'll tell her that I'm going to count to 3 and we can then either do it the easy way i.e. my way, or the sad way i.e. both of us getting cross. As long as she understands the options she generally goes with doing it my way.

Also, if you're busy all the time it might just be that she wants some quiet time at home. That also happens with us a lot. Sometimes I just have to cancel stuff and give he my absolute focus without rushing about.

Sorry, was still typing mine about being too busy when you posted again.

Thanks biggiantcow..what a name!:)

DD was adamant she'd seen one when she was with my parents. Who am I to argue with a 2 year old?!

haha,too true :)