3.5yo suddenly tearful and clingy going to nursery

[herbaceous]

Hello there

Our 3.5yo DS has been going to his nursery for about 18 months, and after the initial settling in troubles has loved it. In fact, sometimes he didn't want to come home.

But in the past few weeks he's got really upset before going, saying he wants to stay home with me, or for me to stay all day and 'look after him'. It breaks my heart, as he's such a stoic - only really cries when something is very much the matter. And the way he looks to me for a solution, when I'm the one putting doing the hated thing.

The teachers assure me that after ten minutes or so he's fine, but I wondered if anyone else had been through a similar thing, and how I can make it easier for him? It's also most as if he's had a cognitive leap, and now realises that eight hours is in fact reeeeeaaalllly loooooonnnnng.

Yup my DS is 3.5 and went through the same thing. I think you're right - they suddenly realise there are choices about things and they choose to stay with you. But they can't (we have to work etc). So they do all they can to keep you there with them as long as they can. It's heartbreaking. I hated it. Cried in the car etc. But he's come out of it. It took about a long hideous month. He skipped in today.

Mind you he didn't skip in last week as his sister was off sick and I asked him if he wanted to go to nursery or stay at home - he stayed at home. The rest of the week was hideous as he decided he wasn't going again. Like I say - he was fine again this week.

Try not to despair... as long as you've ruled out that it's not that something has upset him or is scaring him - it's probably just a phase.

Thanks! I'm pretty sure nothing's changed at nursery that's upset him. There's been a bit of jiggling about of staff, but he's used to that!

I think you're right - he realises he can control his life, and wants me in it. He's always asking me to 'play with him' and 'look after him', which is a new thing. Maybe before, he took it for granted, and now feels he can't.

I work from home, so having him here rather than there wouldn't be out of the question, but as soon as I did that once, I don't think he'd ever go back

god no - if he knew you were at home you'd be stuffed. Don't give in! It does pass ... it does it does .... be brave. Like I say - this week DS skipped in (well scooted actually - cheerfully whizzed there) - that does help making a distraction on the way in - sort of breaking the cycle.