running out of ideas re 2yo biting and hair pulling - please help!

[Ozziegirly]

My 2.4yo DS is a lovely boy, kind, fun, fab. But he has started pulling my hair and biting me, hitting DH in the face and pulling sharply at DH's nose (!).

It isn't done in anger, I think it's a game as it's normally when I'm helping him get dressed, into the car seat or DH is doing his teeth etc. He'll be being perfectly lovely and then "bam", he hits us or pulls my hair.

It's getting so I don't like putting my face near him as I don't want to get hurt. This makes me very sad as 90% of the time he's wonderful.

I have tried: igmoring (which is hard as it's when I'm trying to do something), telling him it hurts, we have tried imposing an immediate "sanction" (so we normally have a little song after teeth but we said that "we don't sing songs when we get hit in the face"). I have tried explaining calmly that hair pulling and hitting aren't nice things to do, and hurt us but nothing is sinking in.

I know he understands as he is very gentle with his baby brother, who is 7 weeks.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I assume it's to do with the new sibling so I don't want to come down really hard (as I would normally with this kind of bahaviour), but I will if necessary! I have used time out in the past for a few things but I am loathe to here as I feel that there must be a reason for it, and therefore a solution.

Please help!

Just say 'no' firmly and walk away? You've probably tried that...?

Well yes kind of but he does it usually where thayt isn't possible, so when we're cleaning. Teeth, getting into car seat, getting dressed - stuff I can't really just leave if you see what I mean.

My DS did go through a little phase of it (mostly hitting) although I don't think it was as bad as what you're describing and was usually when he was worked up either through too much boisterous play or getting annoyed - you could see it coming and head it off a bit. If e did hit out, whenever it was possible I would walk away from him and shut the door behind me - as long as we were in the house I did it. Then obviously go back in, say why I left and have a cuddle a la Supernanny.
Even if you are in the middle of dressing him it is worth a try even if you just go for 20 seconds/to take a deep breath. It is a very definite 'that is not acceptable' message.
I appreciate that if you are pressed for time it's not what you want to do and I don't suppose it is practical with the car seat...sorry if it doesn't sound helpful! I don't really have much else to suggest as this is what worked for us!

He's gone through little phases of doing it when he's annoyed before and I've basically done that - ignore, walk away and if we're out, a time out. I am quite strict!

But this seems different, it's a definite game to him, but I want it to sink in JUST how annoying, mean and downright painful it is!

Took longer than it should have with DS because DH was turning it into a game when he got hit - to diffuse DS's anger I suppose. I had words about that :)

I hope somebody pops up with another suggestion for you. In the meantime stick to your guns!

Here is a little suggestion, if there are events where this is happening more as you suggest, tell him before the event, "right, now we are going to brush our teeth, we are going to out the tooth paste on the brush and brush, then rinse, when this is finished nicely we are going to sing our song." ( Set up the expectation that there is a task to be done and you are going to get it done) If he hits/bites etc you say ,"oh we can't do that now, because "hitting" means time out." And you give hime time out, if he is 2 then 2 minutes. When you take him to time out you say 'you need to stay here and think for two minutes about what happened' then you walk away. Return after 2 minutes, and tell him what is going to happen next 9right we are going to finish brushing our teeth now...). Plan in to your day that the flash pints may take you longer to do than before. You may have to take several time outs...but persist. Outside of this time, when you say 90% of the time he is lovely give him loads of praise for the great stuff he is doing, so he is getting attention for that not the 'bad' stuff. Try to be consistent, and persistent, and in the mean time make sure you are getting some time for yourself, while you are getting through this, and you will get through it . In particular when you have a succesful tooth brush or car seat entry without pain! Say to him, "that is just the right way to get teeth done/ get in the car. You are good at getting things done!"

sorry :right not 9right points not pints!