I could do with a bit of advice about a child that runs and runs and wont stop

[OwlLady]

It has been going on for years but is getting worse. He is 5 1/2 and a third child. My eldest has severe and complex disabilities so home life can be quite unsettled. When he was smaller I could keep up with him to a degree as long as I didn't have my eldest with me, but he is so fast and strong now it's almost impossible. Add to this he keeps escaping from our garden. He has climbed out of the windows and escaped without my knowledge before and today (he is off ill) he said he was going to the toilet and disappeared. i got up to look for him and out of the front window I could see a small boy running really fast down our rural road that has no pavements, I had to do a double take but it was him about 50+m away I shouted out the window and he came back but was hysterical, sobbing crying, kicking. He doesn't always stop though, sometimes he just carries on running until you catch him. He also hides as well.

I am at my wits end today with it. I supervise him as much as I can. We don't go anywhere at all if I don't have an extra pair of hands for my eldest or him as it's just so dangerous.

I just don't know how to stop him doing it. I have explained how dangerous it is but he just doesn't seem to have any sense of the danger

Does he have any other issues owl? What is his communication like?

Does he run away from school aswell?

Sorry lots of questions

I don't know regarding school, I am going to go in tomorrow to have a chat with them about it, but he does run off when i fetch him from school as well. Has ran straight accross the school field for example, even if there are no other children on it and it is going in the opposite direction.

He communicates amazingly well, talked very early and his language and speech has always been quite advanced. I remember he didn't want to eat something when he was about 1 and he replied 'no, it disgusts me' He is incredibly eccentric though, conversationally and he seems to be a bit traumatised because he was split up from his friend to go to school (separate schools) and it was this friend he was apparently going to see today.

I only asked because my Dd3 was a runner when she was younger. She has Asd/aspergers, she is very high functioning and above average academically but when she used to run off she had no idea how dangerous it was.

Her danger awareness has got better as she has got older but she still needs watching, particularly when she is stressed.

I would definately have a chat with the teacher and see if he/she has any thoughts.

Oh and in the meantime, fit locks on windows, carry the door keys in your pocket and carrynsome reigns or a wrist strap with you when you are out and if he cant walk by you he will have to wear them to keep him safe.

Good luck

My eldest is on the spectrum too, which is part of my worry tbh, because I think I have been a bit blasé about it because her needs are so significant in comparison. All the windows are locked atm and the front door was locked this morning, but as you have guessed he had found my keys and had quietly and quickly let himself out.

I have asked him what he was thinking as he was running down the lane and he said he wanted to come back but he couldn't stop himself from running

thank you for your advice btw, I do appreciate it. I have just been a bit stressed out with other matters recently and yesterday I had my eldest social worker round doing an assessment and he had commented about the youngest behaviour/development and whether any concerns had been raised by school and then today this happens and it's so dangerous round here as it's rural and we live by a big dairy farm

I feel for you owlady. Why dont you come over to the special needs children board. Its a really friendly supportive place, with loads of really knowledgable people.

This may be too simplistic but maybe he feels really trapped by having to be understanding to his older sibling's needs and feels sometimes that he just has to escape? Running really fast sounds like a way of being free and emptying his head.

Is there a place that he could run freely and madly nearby? Then explaining to him that if this urge to just run takes him over to tell you and you will take him to "the running place"?

It sounds like he needs an outlet for his feelings - maybe doing painting (but messy, scribbly, grrrrrr painting) or even a punch bag?

sorry it has taken me days to respond but thank you ozziegirl, you might be right. He gets incredibly frustrated by being penned in. A running place sounds like a good idea, as long as he didn't escape that running place

He and his brother are both part of a sibling carer group and they do get to express there feelings there (from what i have gathered) and I think that helps. Incidentally the running off incident happened the day after he had been to this group