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Comfort/transitional objects

4 replies

RedKites · 30/01/2013 10:27

I thought advice was generally to let children drop transitional objects in their own time - is that right or are there different opinions?

Some background to me asking - DS1 is 2.6 and uses a muslin as a comfort object. He goes to preschool, and it is their attitude which is making me ask. He is using it less (mainly when tired/hurt/overwhelmed/left with unfamiliar people), and hasn't used it at all at preschool the last week or so, but wanted to take it in with him today, and they were a bit funny about it. I am happy for him to drop it - I was really excited the first time he went into preschool without it - but I thought he was young enough that he can be left to take his own time, and the odd blip along the way not to be worried about.

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newshoots · 30/01/2013 11:03

My friend's daughter had a (small) piece of her original baby comforter that she took around with her well after starting school! That's the most extreme case that I know of. Oh and she's a confident teenager now. My Mum knew someone whose child had a single quilt that the parents had to carry stuffed under the pram- now that was a logistical problem!

In your shoes I wouldn't worry in the slightest. Will you discuss it with the preschool?

Goldmandra · 30/01/2013 11:14

The pre-school should be accepting his need to use it for comfort and allowing him access to it when he asks. I can understand them not wanting him carrying it round from water tray to paint to sand pit, etc but they could put it on his peg or on on a table at the side for him to get if he needs it.

2.6 is very young to be expected to manage without it at all. Comfort objects can also help children concentrate and sit still at times like group story time.

I would have a chat and let them know that you feel it is important for him to have access to it if he needs it but be clear that you're not expecting them to enable him to carry round all the time.

rrreow · 30/01/2013 14:20

He's so young still! I think it's fine for him to have a comfort object, especially as you're indicating he's already weaning himself off it.

I remember kids at my nursery (I would've been 3) had objects like that: cuddly toy, a cloth etc. The first time I went to primary school (4-y-o) I had my cuddly toy in my backpack and I think it would've given me a greater sense of security in a scary/unfamiliar environment. I'm a well adjusted adult by the way and I'm certainly not dragging my cuddly toy into work for comfort Grin (he lives in my bedroom closet now).

RedKites · 30/01/2013 17:34

Thanks everyone. I confess I was a little worried I'd get a load of replies saying he was too old for such things and I should be stopping him from having it. What you have said fits with what I thought, and indeed with how I feel. I really wish I had said something at the time - his little face was so worried. Having said that, he didn't get upset then, and was certainly fine when I picked him up, so I don't know how big a deal to make of it with preschool - whether to say something to them now, or wait and see if a similar situation arises again, and if it does say something then. Will chat to DH too as I don't want to overreact, but I do want to protect my little boy.

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