Book recommendation? Losing the plot with 2.5 year-old.

[ali23]

DS1, 2.5, is turning into a little shit rogue . Can be a loving, happy, funny little guy but if and when he doesn't get his own way all hell can break loose. For the past few months he has been getting more and more aggressive when things don't go his way or when he decides he is going to grab a toy that someone else is playing with. If he gets annoyed, he hits or, even worse, bites. My arm is currently black and blue because things like getting him dressed result in him biting my arm. It is driving me crazy and I feel like I am on the verge of really losing my temper with him.
We have used the naughty step, consistently, but nothing seems to be working.
Feel like I am constantly battling with him these past few days and I am also shouting non-stop - and getting nowhere. Would like a book with some real-life methods of getting us out of this god-awful phase.

Lawd! A biter!! My boy was a nibbler for a while, and it was very distressing. (He's now 4, and long grown out of that phase). It seemed to coincide with a time when he was quite upset generally, was easily made tearful and started bedwetting (occasionally). Looking back, I think it coincided with a period of time during which my mum was dying, me and DH were overstretched and stressed, and the whole household was a bit miserable generally. I think he just picked up on the atmosphere and was 'acting out'. Anyway, we all got through the phase, and it stopped. Can you look at what else is happening around him? eg. does he go to a childminder or nursery, and is he happy there? Is he being picked on or seeing other kids behaving very boisterously or aggressively? Does he spend time with his dad, and would he respond better to a 'gentle but firm' set of rules from his Daddy about 'no biting!'?

I can't link but if you google Aha parenting you will find a load of incredibly useful advice on how to deal with difficult behaviour.

Good luck!

DS did this to me. Just with me. i think no one believed really how violent he could be, but touch wood, we are out the other side now. He is much better and calmer, he is 3.3. what made the greatest difference was when DH saw him repeatedly hitting me round the head, hard as I tried to take him to change a dirty nappy. DH immediately slapped him around the face. Cue tears all around, hugs and he was much better from then on. He did have his moments, but not so often. I try not to react, hitting, biting is an immediate corner offence, 3 mins and I totally ignore him. Also praising, over-praising when he does something nice or gentle like a spur of the moment hug or sharing a toy with another child. And the speed of your reflexes increases!

I found "how to talk so children will listen and listen so children will talk" helps even with a really little one, also in the circumstances, I think if possible you need to find a way of getting some time out for yourself, so that you can look after yourself a bit and be kind to yourself. It is undoubtedly true that this is challenging.