really, really boring thread about nail biting

[serendippity]

I know it's just a "phase" but dd, ds and their nails are driving me crazy. Both of them seem to always have a nail in or by their mouths, and ds is so bad that his the tops of his fingers are actualy bleeding. Dd is 8 and ds is 4. I am so damn sick of hearing myself say "get. Your. Fingers. Out. Of. Your. Mouth" and listening to ds telling me his fingers hurt! Do they still see that awful stuff you paint on your nails that tastes horrendous? because I think I need some, if so where from? Have you any tips other than that if your child is/was a nail biter?

I am a nail biter and have been since I was 2. I'm now 32. Nothing my mum did, including nagging or lathering on that horrible tasting stuff, ever helped. They need to get their own motivation to do it. Possibly when they're older and more worried about looks (I had a few periods in my 20s when I stopped, so my nails would look better to any potential BF).

I think you could sit them down (one at the time) and discuss with them why they think they do it (to me, like most people, it is a bit of a comfort/nervous habit - like thumb sucking), and whether they would like to stop. They might say no, in which case say that you're worried about them being in pain and fed up of hearing about it. You might say that they're allowed, but then they shouldn't whine about the pain. And whenever they're ready you'll be there to help them in any way they would like to. They might like gentle reminders, but if they're unsolicited, it will just sound like nagging and will be ingnored, or rebelled against. And chill.

My mum used to try to scare me into stopping by telling me that no boy will want me with my bitten nails - well, no man ever complained about that. Including DH, so that was complete BS (although I knew it was pretty much from the start). I do understand her concern, though..

DS1 does it too. He has sensory issues and it's an oral stimulation thing for him. he also grinds his teeth really badly

I haven't a clue how to stop it, that nail polish never seemed to work for any of my friends in school

I agree with ToysRLuv.

I was a nail biter for years and then suddenly just stopped one day when I was in my 20s for no fathomable reason. I still can't bear having long nails though and keep them quite short.

My parents tried everything from nasty tasting nail stuff to plasters to outright bribery but nothing ever worked. I wasn't aware I was doing it.

I do remember being annoyed at being told it was such a big deal so maybe there was a bit of rebellion in there.

I had the horrible stuff that you can put on your nails to stop you biting at various intervals and if you forget it's on there and rub your eyes it is very sore. I can remember having streaming eyes through lessons at school due to that stuff. Didn't stop me biting my nails though.

I started at 8 (because my 12yo brother did it, so similar age gap to yours) and stopped when I left university because I realised that very bitten nail look awful at job interviews.

I'm afraid I tried everything else before then (being bought nail varnish as a treat, the nasty-tasting stuff) and it didn't work for me.

One thing that might have worked would be someone showing me how utterly horrible it looks to watch a nail-biter, and that is easier now as you could just video them on your phone or something?

You are probably going to have to focus on the older DD first though and the DS may grow out of it then naturally if his big sister has stopped. I'm not a massive fan of make-up etc for young girls but if she can't paint her nails nicely like her friends etc it may make a difference?

Thank for the replies guys. You're right Toys, The nagging is probably not doing a darn bit of good :) So it's a no no on the nasty tasting stuff if it hurts eyes, they're forever touching there faces as well!
Wingdefence, I took dd for a mini manicure on Saturday, in the hope it may encourage her to stop biting. Luckily, without prompting the lady doing it asked her if she bites her nails and she got a bit embarrassed. I've promised we can go back when she stops and they've grown a little bit, so that may work. Your idea about filiming them doing it and letting them watch it is good too, I may try that.
I guess it's a wait and see thing really isn't it? But I find it so irrationaly annoying!!!

My ds bites his nails - he's three. It started when dd arrived and we were having bedtime battles and DH he was left by himself in the dark which upset him - I also couldn't deal with it as was tackling a colicky baby. So I think it stemmed from anxiety.
Which makes me feel shit.

It also irrationally annoys me! He's worse at bedtime Unless he's very tired or we leave lights out until a bit later. He's getting better - we ignore it completely. He has said it hurt so I've told him factually that it hurts because he's biting in the hope he will get it.
I used to bite my nails and stopped voluntarily at around 7? The nail stuff that tasted rank didn't stop me! It was compulsive - like scratching an itch. And it felt nice..!!!!

My boss does it at work - it's grim.

So I'm hoping ds will just stop one day. Here's hoping

I wish I knew where it came from with my two, then maybe I'd have a way to tackle it! Yeah I can't actually complain too much as I was a biter as well. I stopped when I got a job as a receptionist and realised people may see my hands! Now I love and adore my nails and take very good care of them, which is possibly why ds and dd biting theirs annoys me so much!

Ok. Just so it's clear, I don't do bite my nails in public (I'm aware of how annoying/disgusting it can look)- only in front of family. I consider it a lesser vice than many other things. And I've got a bit too much on my plate just now to have any motivation to stop. If I need great looking nails for any occasion, I'll just get falsies (like I did for my wedding).

Never though it would count in a job interview - although I tend to keep my fingers a bit hidden using a well honed technique - and I always got any jobs I interviewed for (so that's not something to worry yourselves about)..

I think nail biting might learned from others, but it's at least partially genetic/linked to personality (which is almost entirely genetic). My dad bites his nails, but not very much. It's hardly noticeable. Still..