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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Hysterical baby!

10 replies

Bibblesmum · 15/01/2004 14:30

I have a 8 month old who can only stay awake max 2 hours at a stretch. At home he will go down in his cot for day time naps without any fuss (no soother required)and will sleep for 1-2 hours per nap (approx 2-3 per day). However, when we are out whether he is in his pushchair or we are out visiting friends etc, when he gets tired he becomes hysterical. I am rarely able to calm him and he will only fall asleep after 20 mins to 1 hour of serious crying! It has come to the point that I have to leave and come home whenever this happens. He eats well, sleeps through the night 12-13 hours so I know I could have it a lot worse! HV says it is probably separation anxiety and he needs to be reassured and in his home (I can't stay in all day, every day). Has anyone else had this problem?

OP posts:

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Lisa78 · 15/01/2004 14:55

Is it because he will only sleep in his cot do you think? I think if you come home and put him in his cot everytime he gets very upset, you are giving him the message that if he cries long enough, that will be the result
Could you perhaps put him in his cot for a nap with a soother such as a muslin cloth, so he also associates the cloth with nap time? Then when you are out and about, he could have the cloth with him to nap in his pushchair or wherever - and since cloths are interchangable, not too much drama if you lose it!
Don't know if this helps but don't know what else to suggest

Evita · 15/01/2004 21:03

Has he always had this problem or is it a recent thing? If he's always been v. sensitive then it can't be separation anxiety as I don't think that really starts until 8 -10 months at the earliest. It seems to me as though he's v. sensitive and gets overloaded by external stimulus quite quickly. So needs regular sleeps and needs them to be in a quiet safe familiar environment.

LIZS · 15/01/2004 21:14

Could he be overtired ? I used to take my ds to visit his cousin and my sil at around this age, usually all day, and if we were out too late he would be inconsolable by the time we got home and refused to eat, just wanted to sleep. I felt that it was combination of overstimulation and tiredness. Has your ds got a routine so that you can limit your excursions to his normal waking period ? Can he sleep in the car if you go further afield? As he gets older his wakeful periods will get longer and you'll be able to go out more. 2 naps a day is pretty normal at this age but should still afford you long enough to get out a bit.

It may be separation anxiety but it doesn't sound as if you are too far away anyway. As a matter of interest which way does the pushchair face - would he be happier if he could see you. I turned dd around much later than ds.

hth

Dmum · 15/01/2004 21:44

Bibblesmum, this sounds so like my DS (almost 9 months). He also really struggles to go to sleep anywhere other than his cot. He can fall asleep in the pushchair if we are out walking and it is very quiet and there's not much to see, but if we're anywhere with a bit of noise and bussle, he struggles and also will cry. His sleeping pattern is almost identical to my DS's, except DS's just started to stay awake a bit longer. (2.5-3 hours before morning nap, 3-3.5 hours before afternoon nap and the same before bedtime. Like your DS, he goes down awake, without a fuss and without a dummy. It's almost as if they're so well trained to go to sleep in their cot that they struggle anywhere else. Is your DS quite a sensitive baby? I know mine is and can get overtired very easily. I have to be honest and say that I try to be at home for naps and go out in the awake time. Being out and about with him screaming is just so stressful! But, I know this is difficult when they can only stay awake for 2 hours.

I gradually started stretching DS's awake time by 10 minutes every few days. We all go out at the weekend when DH is there - I don't mind the screaming so much then. We've found just recently, that he's not making quite so much fuss when going to sleep in his pram. Still crying a bit and people still stare as if I'm the mum from hell, but he's definitely finding it a bit easier. Don't know if it's an age thing or whether it's a bit like sleep training and they've got to get used to a different way of doing things. BTW, this problem really started for us around 6-7 months. Before that he would fall asleep relatively easily in your arms, etc. Don't know if any of this helps, but it's just good to know others have similar problems. I just console myself by thinking about all the people who have terrible problems getting their babies to sleep in their cots.

bobthebaby · 15/01/2004 22:52

My ds would never sleep in his cot and now he won't sleep anywhere else. He has got to be seriously exhausted to sleep in the car and will keep awake in the pushchair until we are home and then he immediately falls asleep in his cot. I do miss being able to go anywhere, anytime. I just make sure that as soon as he wakes I change his nappy and go and do whatever I want to do straight away.
He's just trying to go to one nap a day at the moment and that's terrible because I never know when he will be tired/hungry so I've started having a little trip out straight after breakfast and another one about 4.30. Hopefully someone will tell us both that it gets better.

psmyt · 03/10/2004 10:08

My little niece sleeps wonderfully throughout the night but not throughout the day. What is also interesting is that when she wakes herself up during the day it is as if she has shocked herself awake. Has anyone experienced this type of 'shock waking' before? My sister-in-law has said that, as the baby sleeps during the night for long periods she wouldn't be worried about her staying awake most of the day, but it is just that she seems to be wanting to sleep but then shocking herself out of it. My niece is only 3 months old.

Beatrice · 03/10/2004 19:56

my dd is also 8 months and is very similar. have you got a car? that's the only place dd will sleep apart from her cot, so I try to arrange outings so we're driving somewhere every couple of hours - e.g. visit a friend for two hours, then drive to the shops. If I didn't then we'd be restricted to only leaving the house for 2 hours at a time.

Loochyloo · 18/11/2004 13:22

My 3 month old ds also "shocks" himself awake when he naps in the day. He's sooo tired but keeps waking himself up and starts crying. Then he gets more and more upset cos he can't fall asleep again. Even rocking in arms isn't working especially well. He used to kip ok in the day but for a couple of weeks now is cat napping for 20 mins at a time unless we out for a walk. The walks are doing wonders for my thighs but I can't keep dragging myself round the shops! Any tips for nap inducing at home?

madgirl · 28/11/2004 20:54

Bump. anyone got any tips for introducing good nap habits during the day (yes i know i should count myself lucky to have such a good baby at night but sometimes he is really miserable during the day and i think a routine would make him happier)

surfermum · 29/11/2004 15:48

My friend had the same problem and our community nursery nurse advised her to give the baby the same "messages" as she did at night that it was time to sleep.

She started zipping her into her sleeping bag in the daytime instead of just laying her in the cot and apparently it worked a treat.

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