6 year old not very good with younger children

[fattybum]

Is this unusual? He doesn't do anything terrible, but he doesn't seem to get that he has to be more tolerant as they are younger.

We spent a few hours with dsis and 3 year dnephew today. Ds was playing with two trains (there were lots more) and dnephew snatched both away. Ds responded by snatching them back roughly. We were trying to speak to ds and sort it out nicely, but he gets so carried away he doesn't listen. Dh particularly thinks that ds should act more mature and give in to younger kids rather than acting so rough.

I'm confused.

I would say this is normal, as they don't necessarily think "that child is littler than me therefore I will be gentle" in the heat of the moment. As a very broad generalisation, girls seem to be more inclined to give way to younger ones without intervention.

I don't think age 6 and 3 the 6yo should give in to things being snatched either. A 3yo is old enough to be told not to snatch. I would have gone for the sharing the trains in that position. ie "Which one can your cousin play with?" not expecting them to give both up without objection.

Well, I kind of thought that, but dh says he was very considerate of younger kids at that age so sees ds as unusually self centred and inconsiderate.

The thing is, ds1 is generally a bit self centred, always wants every thing for himself, seems to think he is more important than others. He still needs to be reminded about manners often. Is this all normal?

My 11yo still fights with 4yo sibling, sometimes sibling instincts just take over.

I wouldn't mind just with his brother, but he's like it with other kids. Is he a bit young to make allowances for younger children?

My 6 yr old is possibly a bit more patient because he's had three years of my saying 'be careful with your brother/let him have that/ that's too rough/ he doesn't understand/' etc etc.

But, he is self centred. Totally. I think many 6 yr olds are. To him, he is more important than anyone else and wants our attention and comments on what he's doing even if we are busy doing something else or talking to someone else. Normal for us.

The manners thing - I often have to remind him, especially if he's mega excited or in a rush.