Routine for 6 week old

[RainDancer]

My DD is 6 weeks old. She has suffered terribly with colic and therefore has been very unsettled pretty much since she was born. Sadly she has few periods when she seems really content. As a result I haven't put any routine in place and have just been letting her sleep on me when she wants to. She never wants to go down in the day and so usually sleeps in a sling. I figured that because she is so upset so much of the time it seems a shame to force her to be put down. Am I making a rod for my own back or is it ok to worry about routines when she is more settled? Also, as there is no routine she stays downstairs with us until we go to bed at night - is this a bad idea - should she go into her crib? The FSID advice is to keep them in the same room as you - so is it ok to put her into her carrycot downstairs (with tv on in lounge) and then move her later? I know it probably all seems obvious to you lot but I feel clueless!

Please don't feel bad for comforting your daughter.

You're doing exactly the right thing for your tiny child

Six weeks is still so, so young and you're definitely not making a rod for your back - ignore anyone who says you are!

My ds2 is 7 months now and he goes down for naps and bed times in his cot, awake. For the first 3 or 4 months of his life he would only sleep on me. I mean literally, from day one, in hospital, curled up on my chest. Then I managed to have him sleep next to me the up until very recently we were doing the 'pacing the floor, shuggying to sleep' method and now he's in his cot asleep.

The sad thing is I miss him falling asleep on me! These days will pass so fast and before you know it another little phase is over and it's onto the next - cherish the newborn days. Don't worry about routine, you have plenty of time for that yet. Your child is not suffering, she's just enjoying being close to mum which, let's face it, is where she belongs.

Agree completely with mousebacon - my DC2/last is now 17mo and that early time just flies by.

Just do what works for your baby and you. Trust your instincts. If you can't cope with it any more, try changing something. But 6wo is very young, and one day seems like a lifetime.

FWIW my DC1 had colic for a while and it was easily the toughest thing we've had to deal with. But it does pass. And you move on to the next thing. My DC1 little madam also completely resisted a routine of any kind. She is now 4yo and still does.

We used to keep them downstairs with us until we went to bed. It was what felt right for me.

Do you have friends, NCT or similar, with babies the same age who you can meet and chat with?

Ah thanks both. If I'm honest that is exactly what I needed to hear from someone who has been here. I've found it much tougher than I expected and I just hate hearing her so upset - it often has me in tears. Thank you so much for taking the time and for your kind words!

Hey, we've all been there

MN is a wonderful thing. I hope you both get some sleep tonight.

Hi, just wanted to say my dd1 is 10 weeks and I'm worrying about exactly the same thing! You are definitely not alone.

Getting out the house and meeting with people/going to baby classes really helped me (although getting out itself can be stressful!)

Won't be much longer until you notice changes, 8 weeks when you start seeing more smiles makes a difference and I'm starting to feel better too. When they are so colicky and unsettled you just feel like shit, frustrated and bonding felt hard for me.

It's bloody hard isn't it? I've had a c section so not been able to drive yet but am hoping that being able to get out and about next week will restore my sanity!

I reckon your routine should just follow your baby's lead. Sleep when she does, if you can.

I have always thought routines very silly for young babies. But that's just me.

I started putting dcs to bed at night time from about 10/11 weeks. They all seemed to accept that and understand it was night time. They decided the rest of nap times.

Meals when they were weaned gave more structure to our days. And so on.

Congratulations on your dd. I hope you enjoy all these lovely times with her. Except for the colic. Poor scrap. And poor you when you're tired out too.

I bloody love Mumsnet. I'm feeling a lot more chilled about things now after all your kind words of wisdom. Just enjoyed a lovely walk with DH, DD and the dog. Have vowed to stop worrying about routines and just enjoy!

x

As for sleeping in the living room, DS was put down to sleep in the pram, in the living room (and then taken up when we went to bed) with us until very recently - he's 9 months.

It will get easier. The first 6 months is (IMO) a real endurance test - it starts with the toughest bit and gradually gets easier! Get through that and you can get through anything

Have been wrestling with this routine/no routine dilemma myself with my 8 week old. I constantly worry that allowing my DS to sleep on me/on the boob/in the living room with the TV blaring/in car seat for 3 hours when visiting folk etc is going to led to problems later on, but I agree they are only little and need mum and comfort and you need to do what feels right for you. If it's any reassurance Raindancer I had a nightmare first 6 weeks with no sleep or eating pattern and lots of crying and then as if by magic overnight smiles, less crying and actually creating his own (loose) routine. So I'm following his lead now and not the book (which he hasn't read, lol!).

6/7 weeks is the struggle point for a lot of people. ALOT of people notice it getting easier around the 10-12 wk point. Let baby lead, comfort as much as you like. Your half way through the most up and down hill first few months x