At what ages does even the last shit sleeper have a good night?

[Thaleia]

Hi,
We are only 9 months in but I feel that every night instead of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is yet again the train crashing into it.

DC always woke lots but at the moment he is up for up to 2hrs just not settling. We are sooo exhausted.

As it's just a phase, I am wondering ... how long? 2 years? 3 years? Longer?

Thali

First night DS slept through was the week before he hit 5. Do you really want to know if that's weeks, months or years?

Haven't read the whole thread, has the 9 month sleep regression already been mentioned.

Dd was much better, in fact she was sleeping through long before DS and most of DS wakings were because of some medical issues.

Have you read hidden causes of night wakings?

Umm, sorry but 6 here as well . In fact she is now 9 and still quite often wakes if she is feeling insecure about things, but she tends to crawl in next to me and then be fine.

well ... tbh, I did not think that a bad sleeping habit would go on til school age! I have to think it's just a phase, although a REALLY long one.

2 things bother me the most about it: the strain which puts on DH and me, sometimes it's hard to be fair and not just short and cross to each other because of the lack of sleep and other parents - they don't really have to mean to come across like it - which are smug about their DC as if it's their special achievement rahter than luck of the draw.

Barring any real silliness eg allowing them to play play stations till the small hours etc i am SURE it is luck of the draw.

The exhaustion is a bitch, as is the competitive tiredness which you can invariably end up having with dh. All I can say is you get used to it! A bit...

It's over 5 years now since I slept through the night apart from a good wee spell when I was of with dd2 and dd1 briefly cooperated. I reckon I'm looking at another year from now before it happens again. I am optimistically looking forward to regaining things like decent skin and a semblance of a social life!!

At nearly two DD still doesn't 'sleep through' but she'll do 7.30 - 11ish and will go straight back to sleep when we go up. Then she'll usually sleep through 'til 7.45/8. That's good enough for me!

PS I do sometimes think this whole sleeping through thing can be a bit of an unrealistic target. OK, some babies do, and their parents are very lucky, but for those babies that have been sleep trained/taught to self-settle at an early age, I do wonder if they really are properly giving it ZZzzs for the whole 12 hours or if they're happy to lie in their cots awake admiring the mobile for some of that time, IYSWIM? ie Not crying for Mummy for 12 hours = "sleeping through".

Ds did the whole taking ages to go to sleep then being awke for hours in the middle of the night too thing when he was little. It got much better at 19 months and then again at 2 and by 3 he was sleeping 7-6

DS doesnt sleep through yet and he will be 4 in May

My ds was 7 when we started getting reliable nights but we still get 5am wake up calls sometimes.

Bet you are really glad you asked this !

Mine were both 3 before sleeping through . These days I have to drag then out of bed. Good luck OP.

My friend has never, ever had an uninterrupted night's sleep - her children are 8 & 10 . Yes, I am being judgemental but I seriously wish she was stricter and at least tried controlled crying like I did when my DS was very young but I guess its too late for that now.

I think the thing I have learned is that sleeping through is not a milestone they reach and then that's it for life. They do it, then they don't, then they do it, then you have another baby and all hell breaks loose, then they sleep through again.

And for me, that is what is so exhausting. You never know if they will be up in the night or not. And I find that when they don't wake, you do! Although my dd1 is a 'great sleeper', and she slept through from 8.5 months, there have been weeks of disturbed sleep, musical beds, etc. she is 4.1.

Smallest is nearly 1 and has just dropped her last night feed, all by herself (I didn't ever believe people who said that happened!) but she still wakes/stirs at least 3 times a night. She's in with us though and I firmly believe that makes a difference. When I can't take any more, I go and sleep in with dd1, and I can't work out if I don't hear her, or if she genuinely sleeps better without me or dh in the room. I think it's probably both.

Marathon response. Sorry.

DD was worst from 4mo til 18mo. I think it was a combination of teething, weaning, crawling, walking... there was always something going on that fired up her little brain and woke her up. She's now 20mo and generally sleeps through with one 3am wake up.

DD - 4yo. DS1 was born when she was 4y1m. Not so great timing.

DS1 - 4y11m. .

DS2 was born 19 months after DS1. He slept through long before DS1.

In fact, I was so used to DD and DS1 NOT sleeping that I used to worry that DS2 was dead because he slept through at 7 weeks old!! Shame DS1 didn't sleep through for more than two years after that!

I then finally had a break until I had DS3. Who still hasn't slept through at 2yo.

I'm NEVER having any more DC's. The lack of sleep is killing me this time around.

Hahaha about the teenage thing. It's surprising that my DD, who didn't sleep through until she was 4yo is now nearly 15, and while she was going through puberty between 10 and 14yo, it was next to impossible to get her out of bed on a school morning.

She's much better now though.

But DS1 has just hit puberty and the 'a nuclear bomb wouldn't wake me' phase.

Which means I now have another 3-4 years of it. Grrrrrr.

First 8 years I was pissed off because they WOULDN'T sleep, and now I'm pissed off because you can't wake them - poor DC's must be !

3 and something months. Not sure, because I was too tired to remember. She still comes in our room about once a month or so to wake us up.

Oh, she's 7 and 5 months.

Nine months old is the worst of the sleep regressions, OP. It won't be this bad again.

My shit sleeper #1 started to sleep through occasionally by 16 months; by 20 months it was more often than not and by 2 it was always, barring teething/illness. Frankly, as soon as it dropped to once a night that was fine, because DH and I took turns, so one of us always got a full night's sleep.

Shit sleeper #2, the jury is still out on, but at 14 months she's down to 2 wakeups most nights.

Cut down television, smartphone, computer screen time? Might not apply here. I know my sleep is bad when I've had too much screen time.

Tough love is another approach. We tell our DD it's too early to get up. Not fair on mum and dad! She goes back to bed and rests if she can't get to sleep.

fufulina - I am with you! I think it's the total randomness of "when". I wake up every 1.5hrs and if this is not "tuned" in with DS wakings, I am basically up all night.

I am so glad I started this thread, sometimes I think people are only honest here. I know only ONE mum in real life who says she's got a bad sleeper and her girl is 2 years old now.

I wish it would be 9 month sleep regression but I doubt it as I assume your DC had to be an okay sleeper before - and our's isn't.