Ds5 insistent requests and pinching of bad food.

[cupcake78]

I don't know how to handle this now. Ds is getting into terrible habits of bad food eating.

I do restrict foods like sweets and crisps but they are far from banned.

This morning he snuck downstairs and came upstairs with an ice cream out the freezer for breakfast. It was obviously returned fast with many tears and tantrums and toast and jam was provided instead. He seems to be doing this more and more.

We put naughty foods out of reach as he will just eat that. All he wants is sausage rolls, crisps and other things I class as rubbish. He will not eat homemade foods (every tea is homemade) and his tantrums are getting worse.

I can't see where I'm going wrong. Can you help?

He won't eat potatoes either and he's gone off rice!

does he eat fish? fish fingers or fishcakes?

what about hummus or something to dip his raw carrots in?

At school he eats fruit or veg as a snack and eats the dinners except mash, he hates it! Pudding is never an issue. He will also eat different foods at grandparents houses etc.
At home he is a pain. He's always been fussy but its just getting worse not better

He is playing you up!

You need to decide what diet you want him to eat and then stick to it firmly and consistently. If you don't want him to eat sausage rolls, etc, then don't buy them and weather the tantrums till he stops getting his own way.

I would also bet that he's not eating much at lunchtime - my DS used to come in ravenous and GRUMPY after school when he was on school dinners. Turned out he didn't eat much because he didn't really like them (apart from the puds!) and he wanted to get back out for lots of footy. Once he went onto packed lunches and I could make sure he got a properly balanced diet and enough protein/carbs, he was much better. Oh, and a biscuit or something for the moment he emerged from the school door!

The things you're saying he won't eat sound like goods he's eating happily at school - presumably he doesn't get the same attention over what he's eating there. I would not be happy with "gone off" rice. I wouldn't force a child to eat something they clearly detested, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

Reading between the lines, you need to cut out all the crap food as a family.

If it is nt in the house, if you are not eating it yourself, he cannot have it, can he? No need to keep ice creams, sausage rolls, crisps in the house really.

Ps, I often give DC a sandwich straight after school, then tea 2hrs later.

No need for scones, cake either.

I hate sausage rolls, he's the only one that eats it. I have the odd bag of crisps but yes your right we buy it for him! That's not good is it.

Thanks for your help, I'm going to have to be more organised and try harder at meal times. I agree with the sandwich after school. That's what I used to get.

It starts from today

Good luck OP. Stay strong and just go in to it knowing that it's going to be harder for a few days/weeks... Is your DP on board with this? A united front is the only way!

Good luck :) I have an almost 5yo, ravenous after a busy day in reception. We have a dew issues at times but he and his 2yo sister eat well enough.A few thoughts on how we manage:

1. no food labelled good or bad. pur message is that all food is acceptable in moderation. It's just that we might be more moderate with ice cream than carrots :)

2. we don't mind sausage rolls or the like, but we buy a very small amount occasionally for a specific meal rather than have them in all the time. E.g. We pick up 4 from the butchers for Saturday lunch rather than just a pack for as and when

3. I cannot stress enough the importance of getting DCs to like eggs! Such quick, cheap protein, even if you buy poshest organic. My kids will have a picky tea once or twice a week, the basis of which is boiled or scrambled egg and wholemeal toast. We then add ham, salad, veg crudités and hummus etc as appropriate. Scrambled or fried egg can be on the table within 5 mins. Genius things are eggs!

4. ours are too young to make sensible choices from the fridge so they are not allowed to help themselves. They ask, we offer choices that are appropriate. E.g. Midway between meals they can have a reasonable snack. Just before meals they can have a few cucumber slices or some frozen peas (I have strange kids!) otherwise DS would get ice cream out every time.

5. pudding is not a given. Some meals they have it, some they don't ands it's offering is slightly arbitrary. So they don't associate it with it bring a treat for finishing their food, not so they think they always get it.

6. sweet foods incl fruit are fine, but only if they are eating reasonable amounts of protein, fat and veg. So if they stop eating those do well we don't fill up on sweet stuff, we focus on getting them back on track with protein etc

7. I don't make food fun enough really - it should be fun - but do try. My kids will eat anything off skewers so I try to do chicken or fish on sticks quite often, or we make mash potato volcanos (mountain of mash with gravy or ketchup lava pouring out if the top). I need more fun ideas though to keep them interested!

8. don't sweat over every meal. Think more about a week at a time - did he get enough protein and veg in over the course of a week rather than worry that one teatime was a bit crap. Makes you less stressed over a bad meal as you can balance it out with the next few.

Also you said your DS likes curry - experiment with flavours to keep him interested as maybe done if his good is a bit bland? Cook rice in coconut milk. Do potato wedges with paprika sprinkled on top. Marinade salmon in teriyaki sauce. Make honey-mustard chicken. Sometimes I think our kids don't like things when actually it's because we haven't added much by way of flavourings so they're a bit bored!

Some of his food not done of his good

If the foods aren't in the house he cannot eat them. Don't buy them.

Sugar is addictive. Just don't keep it in the house and all will be well.

I never understand why people keep rubbish in the house 'for the kids'. It leads to bad food habits I think. Crisps, chcolate, ice cream, cakes are in no way banned here but we dont have them in all the time.

If he chooses not to eat healthy food and go to bed hungry that's his problem.

Would he eat burgers? Home made burgers - you can make them with mince?

My ds goes through phases of not eating much meat beyond meatballs and sausages but I just kept giving him chicken (and fish) and he comes back to it. Chicken pies were a favourite (home made) and roast chicken pieces with roasted new potatoes and veg.

He's also an "always hungry" one. He decided he liked grated cheese again so we give him a small ramekin with grated cheese to sprinkle over meals (where it would go, not with every one) so I could relax a bit.

Also breakfast - toast or ceral wouldn't be enough. We have porridge.

Can you cut down the milk and offer more yogurts instead? Also fruit cut into little pieces seems to go down well with ds if he wants something in the hour before dinner.

He loves homemade meat balls!

Well I've seen a massive improvement in just a few days. He helped me make tea on Thursday night, ate all his veg and some homemade beef pie. Then fruit salad with a bit of Greek yogurt and honey!

He even ate cherry tomatoes and mange toute with mint sauce to dip as a snack.

Yesterday he ate homemade chilli con carne made with quorn mince, kidney beans and packed full of veg, brown rice. He ate it after fussing 'i hate rice' etc, but at least he ate some of it.

Today he's had eggs for breakfast home made veg soup and homemade brown bread. Pasta veg and pulses. I gave him ice cream for pudding.

I've kept him busy, not fed him till he's starving and let him help make it. So far so good! Fingers crossed it continues.

That's brilliant! Super healthy and varied! Well done you and DS

That sounds brilliant, keep it up.

I have had visitors (children ) here going through my cupboards an dbeing absolutely astounded there is not a single cupboard with sweets, chocolates, sugared drinks, crisps. They just imagine every home in the land has a massive stash of sugar. They think I'm hiding it all but in fact it is just not here as amazingly we can survive and eat well without it.

Wow! Well Done!