What to do when very tired 4 month old won't sleep.

[MrsHelsBels74]

DS2 refuses to nap ever. He gets to the point where he's screaming with tiredness (checked nappy, wind, hunger etc) and just won't sleep. I feel like I'm involuntarily leaving him to cry it out, even when cuddling him as sleep is the only thing that will help him.

Any tips for getting through this without feeling like the worst mum ever.

Motion? Car or a walk in the buggy might help?
He could be over stimulated, sometimes the harder you try the more you overload them, try a dark, quiet room perhaps with some white noise (Hoover/ hair dryer).
Above all, don't blame yourself, you're not doing anything wrong!

Try bathing him in an Epsom Salt bath, with a few drops of lavender or roman chamomile aromatherapy oil - both safe for teenies - The Epsom salts contains magnesium & it's a good safe way to get it into his system, - google Epsom Salts Council & check their health pages - you need the bath grade stuff though, not the one you take for stomach upset

a lot of us are mag deficient these days, due to soil quality, food storage etc & magnesium is an important mineral for our nervous systems, helps regulate pain signals, stress & relaxation an SLEEP - HTH

Well, when faced with the same thing at this age, she was even not falling asleep when pushed in pram for ages, my HV advised "teaching" her. So, I'd feed her, then carry her upstairs wide awake, into cot, curtains closed, and leave her. On HV's advice, she said to turn monitor receiver off (I turned it away) and go somewhere you can't hear screams, turn music on and do something else (I washed dishes in kitchen, felt a blessing to get the time to). After 20 mins, if not asleep, I got her up and went on with the day. Do this at 10am and 2pm (ish, whatever suits, realised my dd preferred 9.30am and 12.30). If she didn't sleep, 2x20 mins break helped me...

1st day, she didn't sleep in morning. By afternoon she was utterly whacked. So after 1st attempt at afternoon nap, I brought her back down, fed her again (she dozed off), took her back upstairs awake, put her down, repeat! On 3rd attempt, she fell asleep after 10 mins! For 20 mins! I kept going, each day, and from then on, she started to drop off more easily. By a week, she went to bed happy and fell asleep. Honestly, if felt like magic. I didn't regret doing it, as she spent less time crying overall, being not overtired, and I could catch up on stuff/have some rest.

My DD was like that.... constantly screaming cause she wants to sleep. What helped was following a routine no matter what other problems I have. I bathed her the same time everyday and washed her head every alternate days. same bed time routine, same lullaby... almost safe and same diet for me as I was breast feeding. These helped me cope. Fresh air and a stroll on a bit of a bumpy path always would put any baby to sleep. Make sure baby is fed enough.

Hang in there.... best moments are around the corner. Good luck! Ask for help if it all gets too much!

This sounds silly but the absolute key is to not let him get overtired. is there any situation in which he will sleep for you?

When my baby was little she was much like your son but would often fall asleep in the car for me. I tried to time visits out with when I roughly thought she would need a nap and hope and pray she would fall asleep on the way home for me. I could leave her in the car asleep when I got home (internal access garage, car door open, door inside open so I could hear her) but the quietness/darkness of the garage was naturally conducive to her sleeping and once she 'learned' how to sleep it became much easier for her to settle in her cradle.

If you can find one way he will fall asleep for you - car, rocking cradle, sling whatever then go with that and once he seems predictably able to nap in that situation then begin to introduce the routine you really want.

I also found I was subconsciously expecting my baby to fit in round my toddlers routine and she of course would end up overtired as I rushed round trying to get one more thing done before putting her down. Once I accepted getting her to sleep was the most important thing in my day (in order to preserve my sanity) and prioritised her needs/routine in order to achieve that I had far greater success in getting her down. She is now a brilliant sleeper (7 months).

It is so hard when they cry xx

20 mins crying at 4 months old sounds a bit horrendous tbh arsey! :O

Walk in buggy or alternatively put in sling or carrier to to get things done in the house. At least you get hands free for a bit of lunch with a sling. I still occasionally carry 9 month old DS 2 if he is really not settling :-)