Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

Please help am worried about my 3 year olds development..

55 replies

shinybaubles · 22/01/2013 10:18

Ds 2 was 3 in December, and I thought he was all ok...as far as I can tell. We are aware he has some problems with his speech, clarity and pronunciation, and had his ears tested and he needs grommits, these are going in this month. I thought this was all that was wrong with him. But his nursery teacher said he seems young for his age compared to other children, I did try and ask her to be more specific and did she think he had any other problems apart from his speech. I personally think apart from the clarity of his speech, he is ok...but couldn't seem to get a straight answer from her and now I am worried.

OP posts:
Original poster
shinybaubles · 22/01/2013 11:55

shineOncrazydiamond - I know to me it seems he is still a baby - I have no concerns regarding his behaviour, or his comprehension, or things like identifying shapes so far only circles and triangles, and he count up to 5 reliably, and can draw circles and lines etc, can get his own trousers and pants on and off also wellies and slippers, I now begin to over analyze everything he does....

OP posts:
Original poster
shinybaubles · 22/01/2013 11:57

EspressoMonkey - I really hope it works for him too. Glad your god daughter is happier.

OP posts:
ppeatfruit · 22/01/2013 11:59

Yes agree totally with shineOn

Another thing you can do is to look at his dairy intake because sometimes hearing problems are caused by too much milk or cheese in the diet. The protein molecules in milk are hard for a lot of people and DCs to digest properly because we don't have enough vit. B6 or magnesium in our guts (i'm not sure which) we're not calves though!!

shine0ncrazydiamond · 22/01/2013 12:06

honestly, unless specifically qualified, these teachers need to learn when to just keep quiet. All children are different.

When in Reception, my son's teacher had me have his hearing tested, his speech tested and his eye sight tested. I went along with this despite there being NOTHING wrong with him as was proven. They tell me he has SEN... and you know why? Because he dislikes reading and he struggles with it. I suspect dyslexia personally but anyway.... it makes me cross.. since when does an inability to shine at reading mean you MUST have something wrong with you?

So it really is about what YOU think at this stage. I have been a parent for almost 15 years and I like to think that I'd instinctively know if my son had a problem, plus I have studied him myself and made my own mind up. His teacher 'hinted' at 'other issues' to me and this worried me initially.So I understand your feelings.

But shock, horror - sometimes < just sometimes > teachers don't always know best.

LilyBolero · 22/01/2013 12:54

shinybaubles - it is good practice in a nursery setting for a child to have an assigned key worker, and I would be very surprised if there wasn't someone designated as a SENCO (Special Needs Co-ordinator) - it's for precisely this situation that this is good, because then you have a designated person to speak to if you are concerned.

ShephardsDelight · 22/01/2013 12:56

I have this Issue big hugs OP, my childs speech is there but clarity is an issue.

could you ask about the possibility of speech therapy?

ppeatfruit · 22/01/2013 13:03

Yes yes shineon Iam a E.Y.s teacher and have watched the expectations change over the years; a ridiculous amount is asked of the L.O.s now (esp. the boys who DO develop later than the girls generally) and yet you're lucky if they get taught to do up their shoes,coats etc.

In Europe they don't start academic work till 6 or later and they do well!!

raaboonah · 22/01/2013 13:04

Your ds sounds like my ds. He is 3 and a half and can do most of the things on the list but not all (and only when he wants to, not in my timeframe, sigh). Tbf I do have a reason to think my ds may have a delay as he was prem then very ill for a while BUT he has also been monitored by a gazillion hcps and they say his devpt is fine.

Unless your nursery worker can be specific then ignore. Perhaps ask her to show you the areas in the early years.foundation stage where he is adrift.

Original poster
shinybaubles · 22/01/2013 13:11

Thanks everyone, I will get grommits in organise speech therapy and let the rest go - I think. To me apart from speech issue he is fine...although it's hard to stop worrying now. Will ask at parents evening in a month. Also will send an email to the teacher hopefully she can put down in writing what she finds so hard to articulate..

OP posts:
pixi2 · 22/01/2013 13:19

Sorry to hijack your thread but does he say things like co-wy instead of cold, or a-ee instead of apple?

My 3 year olds speech is a little behind in clarity and pronunciation and just wondering if I need to seek help now rather than correcting him and expecting it to get better?

pixi2 · 22/01/2013 13:20

Ps, in your email I would cc the head. Thus should ensure you get specifics.

LilyBolero · 22/01/2013 13:21

pixi2, my experience is that it is ALWAYS worth seeking help sooner rather than later, because the waiting lists for SALTs are huge, and if you wait till the point of urgency, you'll then have a really long wait.

What ds2's SALT got him to do, that was REALLY helpful was to look at picture books, and build up a sentence; eg 'Dog' - then he says 'Dog', you say 'Dog Ball', he says 'Dog Ball', you say 'A Dog with a Ball' etc etc .

pixi2 · 22/01/2013 13:24

Ringing the hv now. But he reads and pronounces the few words he can read ok, except 'my' . He knows that but struggles to articulate it. Right, that's it, luckily my hv is nice.

Original poster
shinybaubles · 22/01/2013 13:26

pixi2 - it's not as specific as that more it just sounds all blurred together a bit and slurry as if he was drunk if you see what I mean, he also drools a lot.

OP posts:
DeWe · 22/01/2013 13:51

My 5yo (year 1) has had ear infections/glue ear since he was a few weeks old. He's had 2 lots od grommets and could well be approaching the third (currently off school with perforated ear drum). He's very babyish for his age. Partually he can't hear half the time, partually the amount of time he's spent curled up in my lap in pain, probably partually being the youngest of 3, so his big sisters do a certain amount forhim that they would have done for themselves at his age.

His vocabulary is fine, and always has been, but he's had SALT for pronunciation.

But ENT and the teachers say that they would expect him to have the issues he has because of the hearing problems. They're not worried yet, even though I worry sometimes.

Pixi2 ds was a reader by the time we was 3yo and it has helped his pronunciation, because he could learn to pronounce the way it looked rather than what he heard. We've had occasions where he's discovered eg. "sh" doesn't sound the same as "s" and that has really helped him.

pixi2 · 22/01/2013 13:55

I understand. My ds drools a little so I picked up on that too.

Original poster
shinybaubles · 22/01/2013 13:59

That's interesting DeWe - do the grommets really make a difference?

OP posts:
Longdistance · 22/01/2013 14:12

Hey. We're just going through the motions with a specialist to see if dd1 has glue ear. Her speech is poor for her age. She's 3.3, and my 19 mo says some words clearer. I know you shouldn't compare, but it's hard not to.

She seems to miss out words, has a lisp, and says words that we can't understand sometimes :(

I'd love some answers soon, as she's moved up to pre school at nursery, and ont want her to struggle on. She too doesn't like loud noises.

Original poster
shinybaubles · 22/01/2013 14:31

Longdistance, my ds doesn't like hand dryers the ones found in public loos, the noise is too much.

OP posts:
LilyBolero · 22/01/2013 14:34

Ds2 typically missed off beginning letters, particularly when joined to another letter - eg 'nowman' not 'Snowman', which was a direct result of hearing loss at a particular frequency (he could 'hear', it's just that some frequencies were missing, and they happened to be the most useful ones for speech development, right at the age when speech should have been developing).

Original poster
shinybaubles · 22/01/2013 14:37

Lily that's what the ent said about ds that he had some hearing loss at a specific frequency.

OP posts:
ballstoit · 22/01/2013 14:39

Both my DS and DD1 have had hearing and speech problems, and both finally had grommits (and DS also had Tonsils and Adenoids out and lining of his nose cauterised). DD1 was nearly 3 when she had hers done, DS 5 and 3 months, and both have normal speech now at 5 and 7.

Couple of things to keep an eye on:

DS went to a pre school with less well qualified staff and I was told he was 'young' for his age, and didn't play well with his peers. When he went to school at 4, they recognised that his speech was poor but his language and other development was fine. Now, at 7, he has completed school reading scheme and last report said he had a reading age of 10. Hope that this reassures you that some Early Years staff are not skilled in assessing ability.

Often, ENT problems are linked with allergies, particularly to dust mites or lactose. DS's consultant recommended wood floor in his bedroom, and a anti allergy mattress protector, as well as washing bed linen weekly at 60 degrees...this has hugely improved his breathing and hearing.

No point telling you not to worry...that's what we do, but try to focus on what he is good at and what he can do, rather than what he isn't and can't.

DeWe · 22/01/2013 14:41

Differences with grommets for ds.

  1. No ear infections. From 3 months -20 months he had ear infections every 10 days. Basically he was either on antibiotics or in pain, sometimes both. 20 months he had grommets, and they stayed in (no infections) until he was about 3.5yo. He had 8 perforated ear drums from 3.6yo to 3.8yo when he had 2nd set of grommets.
  2. His behaviour is very dependent on how well he can hear. To the point the reception teachers last year could predict an infection by his (bad) behaviour.
  3. Little things I noticed after the last set of grommets. Like I found that when he ran away from me, and I called him, he came back!! I'd thought he had been not listenin/obeying, he wasn't hearing. The first autumn after his second set of grommets he commented that the leaves went crunch when he stood on them. According to him they hadn't the last year, he just couldn't hear it.
  4. After his first set of grommets his speech improved very quickly. I think he nearly doubled the number of words from about 200 to 400 in a month (roughly)
Original poster
shinybaubles · 22/01/2013 14:51

Wow DeWe that's a very noticeable improvement - ds has only had a few ear infections, so I never thought about glue ear so I am very glad I did get his hearing tested, when another mum suggested it.

OP posts:
Practicallyperfectnot · 22/01/2013 16:11

Possibly he may seem young if he has no older siblings?

Perhaps ask to meet the teacher to discuss her 'observations' - she she be recording their work as they do for all children.

Does the ear specialist have access to an occupational therapist yo check his development? Or maybe the teacher can refer?

Is the teacher taking into account his sensory needs? Is it too noisy? Does his hearing impairment affect his balance if do he may not wish to join in playtime running around etc.

Yes. Trust your instinct and ask for an assessment even if at the end of the day he doesn't have any needs. It's best for you to know you have checked things out. :-)