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Original poster

HELP with my headstrong 3 year old

9 replies

myermay · 22/04/2006 11:18

My 3 year old seems to constantly be fighting with me. For example today i tried to put him in his combats and he kicked off because he wanted jeans instead. What's the best way to deal with this? If i let his wear what he chooses, he gets his own way. If i try to make him wear his combats we end up with a tantrum. I feel that if i let him get his own way i obviously makes him worse and even more persistnat. Do i just give him a choice of 2 outfits? pick my battle? Please help

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Auntymandy · 22/04/2006 11:22

I jut dont dress mine!!!

No suggest he wears jeans tomorrow

Original poster
myermay · 22/04/2006 11:26

what do you mean, does dp dress them instead?

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 22/04/2006 11:27

I think it is fine to let him choose his own clothes. It doesn't do him any harm to 'get his own way' - it's good for children to become independent and make their own choices. You can tell him that he needs to ask nicely instead of have a tantrum, e.g. "Please can I wear my jeans instead?" Then let him wear what he wants - why not? Save your battles for when it really matters. If he feels he is being constantly thwarted over little things like what trousers to wear, I think it will make him more stubborn and grumpy in the long run.

If you compromise when you can, he learns that people try to get along and help each other out. When you do have to put your foot down over something important, he will know you mean business. Makes life easier (and much more pleasant) all round!

Witchycat · 22/04/2006 11:29

I have same problem with my nearly 5 yr old. He's been fussy about which clothes, cup, fork, bag etc... since he was about 2.5

I have to admit most of the time I let him choose between a limited amount - e.g. X or Y - not an endless choice. I tihnk it's mainly just a phase they go through.

LIZS · 22/04/2006 11:30

Give him a choice of 2 so he feels like he has control but actually you do. tbh in time you'll find plenty of other issues you really do need to fight about so don't give this one an importance it doesn't warrant.

SparklyGothKat · 22/04/2006 11:32

I let my 4 year old choose her clothes, she knows what goes together and is quite good at it now :) Normally she gets dressed as soon as she gets up.

Auntymandy · 22/04/2006 11:32

they run around not dressed!!!
No seriously I dont have a problem dressing them.

Original poster
myermay · 22/04/2006 11:32

ok great thanks. I really can't be bothered to constantly battle with him, i think it would make things too unpleasant and too stressful. Thanks for the advise

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 22/04/2006 11:38

Now if he insists on choosing what you wear, maybe it is time to be a bit more assertive :)

(my 3 year old has just started doing that!)

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