2 yr old friends

[kats1]

2 friends (or so called )that are both 2 yrs old. Myself and other parent are good friend and we are stuck with what to do. Friends child winds mine up (holding toy as if giving then snatching away, pretending mine has hurt her), all so mine gets told off, not saying that my child is blame less, as she will then try to get the toy and if she cant, she has got in the habit of biting to get what she wants, what is the best way of resolving their differences with out the fighting, as they can be the best of buddies ???

I suspect that is just 2 year olds for you and it will resolve itself in time...

2yo dd has a love/hate relationship with our neighbours' dd who is 6 months older. We also have older dses the same age. Over the last few months things have got more amicable between the girls but still potentially volatile so they have to be closely watched. neighbours'ds has always tended to pick on his sister and our dd , being smaller, has become her "victim" so you get situations like pushing over and shoving off swing. Having said that when my dd started at the same playgroup she was quite protective of her.

In many ways you just have to let them resolve it as all toddlers do it to some extent, but try to encourage sharing and remove the aggressor when things get out of hand. No magic solutions but things do slowly seem to be improving in our case (fingers crossed).

hth

Are they only just two or 2.5 plus? I have found that my DS and most of his friends have now understood, and accepted (with typical 2 year old lapses) the concept of 'taking turns'. IMO 'sharing' is too woolly and abstract concept for 2 year olds, whereas 'taking turns' can be practiced. "you have a turn, then he has a turn" We did it by introducing it as a game, and making the 'turns' very short indeed so that they do quickly get the 'reward' before their patience/memory runs out. This was backed up by constant, consistent enforcement of 'no snatching' and if one person has it first, they keep it until the other one has a turn. The interventions were made quickly, before hysteria and violence set in. We'd pick up the 'raider' and distract them. My nanny and I HAD to sort this out as she looks after my DS and her own, the same age, and they enjoy themselves much better now. They do genuinely seem to understand it, and police it between themselves. (with lapses, obviously).
It sounds as if someone, maybe a misguided relative, might be teasing your friends child...could the parent find out and encourage them NOT to?

trouble is also most of the blame goes on my d because she is the one that bites, any help in trying to get her to not do this will also be very much appreciated

oh and my d is just 2 other is 2 in a month

As Countess Dracula says, that's just 2 yea-olds for you. At that age DS also used to bite whilst his best friend tried to scratch his eyes out. Charming! I think it's just a stage in the socialisation process and it does get better. DS and his best friend are now 2.5 and play much nicer together.

His best friend also used to put the blame on my DS and pretend he had hurt her. We therefore had to watch them a little bit closer to make sure we knew who was the culprit I have always had to keep a close eye on DS anyway as he has been a biter.....

Kats1, is the other parent making any intervention, or taking any responsibility? Your child does not bite until after the toy has been taken away.I would try and discuss a joint policy with your friend, intervene and explain 'no snatching' IMMEDIATLY it occurs, and if your DD bites, pick her up and put her outside straight away, and YOU comfort the other child. Don't lock her out, or even shut the door, just remove her from the situation and ignore her momentarily.

having had eyes in the back of our heads (and perserverance) we seem to be getting there, no biting since and other girl being told not to wind up, although !!!! friends dd has now started slapping, its never ending, just goes to show swings and roundabouts, thanks for advice