Would you expect a child to be completely dry by 6?

[BrittaPerry]

Dd1 is 6 in March. She still wets herself most days, sometimes twice, and wets the bed about one night in three.

She is HE now, but when she was at school she had phases of only doing it once a week at school and phases of more, but she hardly drank at school. I try to push fluids because her wee smells really strong, which could be why she wets more at home.

Reward charts help, but only because she sits on the toilet more to try.

She quite often will be pottering about, then suddenly jump up in a panic and rush to the loo, but then other times doesn't even seem to notice (or is a really good liar...)

We went to the school nurse last year, who just gave us advice about restricting fluids in the evenings to stop the bedwetting, and ignored the daytime weeing.

Any ideas?

Still wetting self in day is unusual and very undesirable, I would speak to GP ASAP. there are likely to be physiological issues you need to understand even if you can't cure.

I wouldn't worry about nights. Not least because best to tackle one problem at a time.

No real advice, just words of sympathy. I know exactly what you are going through!
Ds was dry during the day from 3(-ish), in night time nappies until 6.5 and wet his bed 2-3 times a week until he was 8. Then, within 6 weeks or so it stopped.
Dd was dry for a while at 3 and back to wetting herself several times a day until 6. Mostly dry at nights from 4.5

We excluded any physical reason and just waited it out. I know that's really difficult, but we tried every punishment and reward known to man and none made any difference at all.

If her urine smells strong then it may be advisable to see the GP to rule out infection first. My DD1(6) suffers with recurrent UTIs and this is always the first symptom.

apparently I still wet the bed at 6.

it is normal.

the daytime one is unusual and should be looked into, though.

I would see the GP just to rule out a UTI

I thought restricting fluids wasn't recognised as helpful for bedwetting any more - which makes me think perhaps school nurse may be out of date? I think I'd take her to GP to rule out any physical cause.

really really don't restrict fluids.
it's the best way to make sure she gets a UTI if that's not what the problem is.

It's within the normal range for her to wet the bed. She should be dry in the day though so I'd see the GP to get that sorted. Kids still wet themselves in reception in the day sometimes but not really after that unless they are in a situation which has frightened them or made them stressed. My 6yo wet himself once this year. At school, was overwhelmed.

More sympathy here. My daughter is 6.5 and still has accidents. She'll go weeks, months without having an accident and then have three in a day. We've tried all sorts of sticks and carrots, been back and forth to the doctors and nothing seems to make much difference.

After going through phases of shouting and punishing her for wetting, we now just tell her to change and get on with it. Generally, she is as good now as she has been, but a relapse could just be around the corner.

I'd second (third?, fourth?) the suggestion to see a GP. We did, and it didn't help, but at least meant we could rule out other more deep-seated problems.

Good luck, I feel your pain!

Sometimes the nervous system set up for sending "full bladder" signals to the brain isn't fully functional. It's nobody's fault, it's the kind of thing that can be treated with moderate success. I would want to check out that or other possibilities.

Dd2 had a tendency to wet herself when she was constipated.

Is she alone? I could be off base but alot about kids is copying. If she's got no one to copy or be a peer too? Maybe some more time with other kids her age would bring her on.

Really can't remember if u said has siblings etc...

my daughter was still wetting herself occasionally at that age. It was the hanging on too long that did it. She was too good, if you like, at holding on, and waited till last moment. It was also to do with control as well, ie: pyschological issues rather than physiological issues, although in the end I am told that the two are interchangeable. See GP, they often have special help who can talk it all through with you. We saw a special advisor through GP, who checked for UTIs, and by talking us through we saw some of reason she was wetting herself. It magically cleared up btw! She has no problems now AT ALL, and hasn't wet the bed since she was 6. Other posters have said things on Mumsnet about how the more the child wets in the day, the more indistinguishable in her mind the cues between wet and dry, and more engrained not bothering become, a vicious downward spiral where physical and mental reasons start getting muddled up. My child was very easily potty trained, but the problems emerged later when she about three.

However, ds2, who had NO problems when first trained, and subsequently diagnosed with very mild Asperger's at 8, has continued to have problems with "holding on" and "forgetting to go". It was part of his profile, that he became so absorbed in what he was doing he didn't care about anything else. Not at school though, only at home. We have become amazingly tolerant now, if that's any comfort...it is painful to see how cross we were with a 6 year old, when we are so lowkey with same issues in a 10 year old. We know that getting cross makes things far worse. We just try and reduce any trigger factors.

I would expect most children to be dry at that age, especially during the day.

I wouldn't expect a child to necessarily be dry at night by 6 (though a lot of children are). I think they refer you to a specialist clinic once the child is 7, if they're still bedwetting, but not before.

Similarly, if it was the occasional daytime accident, I wouldn't think anything of it; I've certainly known 6 year olds to have the occasional 'just didn't quite make it to the loo in time' accident when particularly absorbed in something.

Still wetting once or twice every single day is extremely unusual though (unless a child has special needs of some sort) and yes I would definitely investigate, start with GP and see how you go.

my ds1 is 6 and has the occasional accident and is still wet at night. Dr said not to worry until ds1 is bothered about nighttime. we were having problems in the day and GP checked for physical and no problem so we have a chart. he gets a star at the end of the day if he is clean and dry all day and will exchange 10 stars for a reward - he is very motivated by pocket money so will get an extra coin. this is working really well.
have you looked at the ERIC website.
as a child and a teenager I had lots of problems. GP did nothing but as an adult we moved and i went to a new gp who sent me to a specialist. he diagnosised an irritable bladder gave me tablets for 6 months and the problem disappeared.

I'd speak to the GP.

Agree with Loris - have a look at the ERIC website