19 month old TOO gentle???

[caramelised]

I am not sure how to word this without sounding a bit ridiculous, but I wanted to get some outside opinion. My DD (and PFB..) is 19 months, and we have just moved countries. We go to quite a few clubs & to the park everyday etc - so we manage to meet quite a few other babes even if we don't know them that well. Anyway, she is very chatty & friendly to other toddlers but (and I know I might get shouted down/laughed at for this) I worry she is too sweet...!??? She always gives toys to other toddlers, smiles & chats - even if they are horrid to her (which I know is very normal amongst toddlers). If toys are snatched from her she tends to look at me in very sad/ shocked way, and walk away.
Do i need to teach her to assert herself more? She is very confident, but she gives in if kids are rough with her immediately.

SHould I be socialising more with older children?
Have I gone COMPLETELY bonkers?

I just reread this and i think i sound like an eejit first time mother... I am one of 4 so I think i was much rougher/tougher when i was small.

You have gone completely bonkers

I have a 22 month old who with give out toys, tho its a case of you will take it or it will get chucked at you . You can take anything off her and she won't care, apart from her teddy.

Aw, she sounds lovely :-)
My 19 month old DD won't share anything and has tantrums if another child even approaches a toy she has discarded. We are worried about her! I think we will just always be worried no matter what they do! Xx

thanks. i do sound a bit neurotic don't i? am normally reasonably chilled, but DH suggested toughening her up :( !?
i think we need to leave the poor poppet be X

She sounds lovely and obviously has a very placid nature - enjoy it

She sounds exactly like my dd was at that age. She is 7 now and has always been very gentle and placid. She finds it very hard to understand other children who are often quite mean or won't share or hurt other children. She never has a bad word to say to anyone and NEVER hurts other children, but she has learnt to not take things to heart too much over the years and we do try to encourage her to stand up for herself and she does now. She is very bright also.

Thanks sparkle :)
Isabelle - your dd sounds so lovely. How have you helped her to be robust? Have you found she gets picked on due to her sweet nature, or not really?

DD has lots of friends and is popular at school (she was voted school councilor for her class) as the children recognise that she is kind and thoughtful. She does cry easily if someone hurts her rather than hit back and occasionally she will be called a cry baby or similar names, but kids always find things to name-call about so it could be worse.

I actually think dd is quite robost emotionally, her sweet nature is in some ways a reflection of her inner confidence. She has never been shy, and she doesn't seem to feel the need to hurt others or upset them. It is often children who are insecure that won't share or hurt other children. I just praise her when she is kind and tell her she did the right thing and if someone is mean she should tell an adult or ignore them, and play with someone else, not be upset. I think the best thing you can do is to just let your child get on with things and give her lots of opportunity to socialize with other children.

Thank you Isabelle. You sound like you are doing a wonderful job, and everything you have said makes sense. I hope I can instil such strong values in my DD too. I think perhaps I was/am less secure than she may end up being so I am surprised at her inner calm...

caremelised Your dd sounds just like my 2.3 dd and i too was a bit worried that she was perhaps a bit of a pushover. She's always had a lovely nature and always friendly and affectionate to other children. At playgroups she has never snatched a toy off another child or hurt anyone but she has been on the receiving end. She just gives them a little stare then wanders off to find something else to play with. Am relieved I'm not constantly having to step in and getting her to say sorry, give back toys etc. Although it does surprise me when other mums don't do that and carry on letting their little angels behave how they want! I love how sweet she is and just hope she stays this way! Hope in a year's time I'm not having to deal with a nightmare 3yo instead

My daughter was exactly as you described, I too was worried. Fortunately, I say fortunately but it can be quite wearing at times, she has become more assertive. For me I think it was putting her in nursery 2 mornings a week. But even if she doesn't become more assertive it's a lovely personality trait to have.

so it seems i am not so bonkers for being concerned :) I suppose we worry about them how ever they behave.