Extremely 'shy' 15 month old, how can I help her?

[Skang]

My DD is 15 months old and has always been shy around people she doesn't know or doesn't see often.

It seems to be escalating now. I've always thought she will just grow out of it but it's getting worse and worse. I've made a real effort to go to baby groups with her the last few months but now she screams when she sees where we're going and doesn't want to go in the door. Yesterday she screamed because the cashier in the co-op said hello to her. When I say screaming I mean real red faced tears and screaming as if I'm trying to kill her. We don't see my husband's parents that much because they live quite far away so whenever we do see them she screams and screams. I obviously don't hand her over to them or anything, just their presence in our house is enough to set her off even if we're in another room.

I'm going to keep taking her to groups etc but I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas of what else I can do?

Weirdly she is fine with things like going to the doctors, getting her feet measured, seeing the HV etc. I don't know what the difference is? I wonder of she is picking up from me that I'm not particularly comfortable at baby groups? but I am perfectly comfortable with my inlaws and the woman at the co-op etc! So who knows.

I'd stop taking her to playgroup or wherever she feels unhappy. if she hates it don't force her!
just cancel everything for the next week. let people come to you if they must.

obviously you can't stop going shopping - perhaps do it when it's less crowded or on your own?

she is very young and can not be reasoned with, if she overreacts, so what? I had a crap day and I felt screaming into people's faces!

she still probably has a bit of separation anxiety, and big places/crowds freak her out.

she can cope with one-on-one attention by the sound of it, so I don't think there's anything wrong with her.

she's very young, there's will be plenty of time for her to socialize - my advice is to lay low for a while, then try again.

Sorry, I should have added to that - once she is in the group she settles down after 10 min or so and enjoys playing with the toys etc. she sometimes has a bit of a crying someone then tries to talk to her too much but is generally ok.

I feel responsible in that I didn't take her out more to groups when she was younger so she's not used to seeig people. We only moved here in the summer and I don't have any friends here so she only really sees my family.

No no don't force it and don't blame yourself.

My second is nearly 14 months and does not like other people except those she knows very well. She goes mental if someone picks her up and she doesn't know them. She doesn't smile for anyone other than family and her nanny.

She's been out at groups etc etc since being a newborn! It's just how she is. I think part of it is she's had a tricky start with reflux and not feeding well so didn't feel great and still doesn't.

So I just go with her, keep her close and she will venture out more in her own time.

In the same way, my ds is really sociable, (and im not all that crazy about socialising) but we've never been to a singe playgroup. We get out and about every day and meet lots of interesting people.
Just making the point that all children are different, encourage her strengths, not her weaknesses.

Right now she needs you there for reassurance, the more you give her, ( and that means perhaps not consciously putting her in situations where she has to protest) the more confident she'll grow.