Thanks pink. I've stopped fussing about it now. Second term in and I figure it's time to give the kid some space. She's in drama club, but didn't try out for the play, she's supposed to be joining jazz club, playing piano, and she's pretty comfy in her own skin.
I think, sometimes, we try to put right the things that weren't o.k. with our own lives right for our kids. In my case, I had no friends through school, due to a number of issues, and I was bullied horribly during secondary school. From in utero, I was thinking of how I could stop this from happening to dd. I looked at what my mum had done, no friends at home, lots of negativity and not much love, and I did the opposite.
Et, voila. I had a houseful of kids from the time DD joined school. She had playdates with 80% of the class, I'd say. The 20% she didn't invite were the kids whose parents I didn't get to see every day whose kids dd didn't play with! I love kids, luckily, so enjoyed playing hostess. DD loved playing, but really wasn't fussed who it was with. She ended up with one really close friend and 3 or 4 quite good friends. The rest of the crowd she just jogged along with.
I console myself that she will be, if not sociable, at least socially flexible, and that does seem to be the case. She's positively yoga-like when it comes to friendship and mixing :D