NO PARTY INVITES!

[Merlin]

Hi there. Maybe I'm paranoid, but my DS (age 3) has yet to receive any birthday party invites from anyone at nursery (goes 3 morns a week). He invited a couple to his, but one was ill and one didn't bother to reply!! All my friends kids (even the younger ones) seem to be invited everywhere. PS. He is a nice, friendly boy honestly!!)
Anyone else in the same situation?

Are you friendly with the other mums? At such a young age is in not who the mums know not who the kids do? Also, does your son have a mad sounding or spelling name? I know i dreaded getting names wrong on dd1s birthday invites but i thankfully found a list tucked away in a drawer. For some of the odder names i would have chosen a Mary over a Zoe/Zoey/Zoie simply because i didnt want to look daft getting the names wrong!!
Oh and i wouldnt worry to much ,dd1 only ever had 2 invites from nursery, now 6 though she spent all of her reception class going to a different party every week with sometimes 2 in one weekend!

Do you know for sure that there are lots of parties? If he has not long turned 3 maybe some parents think their kids would be overwhelmed by a "party" at that age? DD (nearly 3) went to a 3rd b'day party last w/e where the b'day girl sobbed all the way through and the gran was heard to remark loudly "i told you she's too young" (btw that's only her second invitation)

charliecat - I only really know some of the mums just to smile and say 'hello' - I'm a bit shy to make more conversation if I'm honest and they all seem to be in a rush! one of my resolutions this year was to get ds to be more sociable (and me), so he started proper swimming lessons this week (on his own without me) and also a new mini gym type fun class. So we will see how it goes - I just would love him to get one party invite!!!

I would only invite kids whose MUms I knew at three so they can stay fro the party and look out for their kids - too much work otherwise.

also ds2 has only had little parties really - proper one on his fourth I htink

Agree, think they start properly at about 4 or 5. My daughter only had one invite at nursery and that was because they invited about 70 people! Even in reception she didn't get many because I didn't know most of the other mums. Plus, class is 2:1 boys to girls.

ok - so i am paranoid! I don't seem to be alone on this one. Probably in a years time I'll be complaining because I'm having to run him around to lots of different parties!!

No your not paranoid!!! You just love your son! I agree that the social calender begins at 4....and once they get to school you find invites are more freely handed out-then by yr2 you're back to the 'selective few' as parents start getting 'snobby' over who to invite (ie. only if their child gets invited to you child's party etc!!!) Then added to that you get the ones who just don't reply- or say they are coming then don't turn up- meanwhile you've just paid £7 a head for a party at the local Playcentre-for the good old minimum of 10 kids....and then you only end up with 8 (and in my case 3 of them are my own kids!!!)

I sound bitter- but i just want you to know that I understand- and hate it even now- in october my middle son gave out 12 invites and only 4 bothered to reply!

My ds1 is 10 now and we've finally convinced him to have the £70 the party would cost - so he adds it to the money he gets from family and ends up being able to buy amazing presents!

And ds3 only started school in september- and as yet has had NO invitations. Luckily he seems 'neutral' to this so I don't worry!

Merlin, when my ds's were in playschool, we only had parties for friends kids. Now my son is 4 and at big school he spends all day with them so he has been invited to loads without me knowing the mothers. It will change

My sons just had the odd one or two party invites from other children in their nursery class. When childre are little, you have to invite parents to stay for parties, and it's sometimes daunting to invite lots of strange parents to your event.

Remember, children pass through nursery relatively quickly - new comings and goings most terms - and are only there for 4 terms on average anyway, so no one has a much time to form strong friendships. At school, they might be with the same classmates for years, and parents get to know each other better.

So please don't be paranoid!

I think maybe you are being a little bit paranoid Merlin but that does tend to go with the territory of motherhood for things like this. Just think of all the time/money you are saving. DS will be three next month and goes to day nursery 3 days a week plus mums and toddlers once a week and we are probably on an average of 1.5 parties a month. Well had two this month already. So thats a fiver for the present, plus card, plus wrap say £6 x 18 a year is over a hundred pounds.

Now there you are - I've made you look perfectly reasonable while I look like a tight wad curmudgeon who begrudges her DS all the fun he has at parties (and he does enjoy them).

My two dont get invited to parties either, well only a few. They are 4 and 2. We havent had any parties for them either yet.

Personally I find it really difficult to make friends with the mums at my ds's private nursery. They are just dropping off and picking up and they tend to just ignore you. It is a posh nursery too and all the mums seem to be professional career types with BMW's and 4x4s. Then I turn up walking down there in my jeans and 30 quid pushchair. Sure thats not the reason really that they dont speak - I am just paranoid. But I just get the impression they are not interested in being friendly. Luckily I have made friends with quite a few mums at toddler group and the leisure centre.

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