Need some advice about DD age 11

[FrameyMcFrame]

She's so grumpy.

And we just seem to not get on any more.
If I try to help her with anything, homework/ practise/ any organisation tasks she just gets really aggressive and defensive. I only mean to help her not criticise but it always gets taken as an insult.
Then it usually starts an argument. She's only polite to me when she wants something (sweets/money/Internet access)

Where an I going wrong???

Hormones.

You're not doing anything wrong but you need to let her know that she'll have to deal with them for a long time and part of growing up is learning to be civil even when you want to rip the nearest person's head off.

When it's bad here I tell DD that I am more than happy to help her with things but that she must ask because I'm not prepared to keep offering and getting snapped at.

HTH

Thanks your probably right about the hormones. How old is your DD?
My DD started her periods last month too so maybe that has some impact too.

Just like terrorists you should never negotiate with kids. Your word is final and will be the same tomorrow as it was yesterday.

If you argue with them there's always the possibility you could lose.

My older dais now 15 but I remember the hormones kicking in and wondering what had happened to my lovely daughter. It was complicated for us soon afterwards by her starting high school, not coping and getting diagnosed with AS but I still recognise those early hormonal behaviours and they are distinct in many ways from the AS.

I know when I am feeling hormonal that I feel like I want to rip the heads off small furry creatures so I know where she's coming from. That however does not mean I will tolerate rudeness. She has to learn to get things under control as she grows up and she can do that with her hormones even if the AS anxiety gets too much to cope with.

My DD is just in year 7 now so also the same stage too. Agree with the ripping off of heads and hormones so perhaps I should cut her some slack there. I think she is also very tired all the time, at the weekends I let her sleep in and last week she slept til 11!!!
She's off on an expensive ski trip with the school on Saturday so I hope she copes with the early mornings on the slopes. We couldn't really afford it but we dug deep and the lack of gratitude from her is hard to believe too!!
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TheFallenNinja, I loose the arguments far too often. Perhaps I'm trying to be too reasonable? DD would not agree I'm sure!