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Behaviour/development

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Getting DD to calm / quieten down a bit

6 replies

diplodocus · 14/01/2013 14:41

DD is 7, and is notably louder than her friends. When she gets excited (which is often when friends are round etc.) she shrieks, shouts stuff that makes no sense, exclaims wildly etc. I keep expecting her to calm down a bit as she gets older, but she doesn't. She obviously can control herself, as she's not like this at school. She can also sit for ages quietly doing craft etc. I feel like I'm always telling her to quieten down, calm down etc. but she just say "OK!" and carries on as she is. I sometimes take her out of the room to calm down if it gets really bad, but the effect is only temporary. It's not that she's really naughty with it, but it's quite unpleasant to be around.
I'd really welcome any suggestions on how to deal with it. I feel some of it may be a personality clash between us (I'm very quiet and reserved) but it can be a problem, particularly for instance if their are younger children about who get wound up and over-excited by her, and I do think it's getting to the stage where she's coming across as a bit immature and some of her friends (and their parents) are a bit Hmm around her when she's like it. I don't want her to think that she needs to change her personality, but would like her to stop being quite so silly and OTT.
Any ideas?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
forevergreek · 14/01/2013 14:47

What are like as a family noise level wise? I find that even a couple of days of us raising voice to them, even just shouting to get coats etc def raises the volume.
We are generally a quiet household, talk quietly, Minimal shouting, not much rough and tumble blah blah. And they generally follow

PatTheHammer · 14/01/2013 14:53

Not really any advice but am lurking on your thread as I too have a foghorn for a daughter. She is 6.5 and it has slightly improved from its peak decibel level (say aged 4) but she can still wake the dead when provoked (usually when telling her younger brother off).
Only thing that has slightly helped has been drama lessons where they do lots of vocal work, this seems to have made her realise and control it a bit usually......until emotions take over and then we all run for the ear defenders Wink

sittinginthesun · 14/01/2013 14:56

I have a loud one too (although, he is either v.loud, or completely absorbed and silent when reading/drawing/Lego etc).

Can you find an outlet for her energy - sports clubs etc. Give her space to be loud when it is appropriate?

diplodocus · 14/01/2013 15:04

Thanks all. I don't think we're a particularly loud family, and we don't do much rough and tumble. She enjoys exercise but doesn't really "get" organised sport so am struggling to find activities she'll enjoy and which burn off energy other than going to park etc.

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diplodocus · 14/01/2013 22:43

Bump for any ohter ideas?

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rrreow · 15/01/2013 14:14

If it's about an appropriate outlet, could you have designated 'shouting time' where you go out in the garden (or if you don't have one you open the window or something and shout outside) and both shout at the top of your voice for 5 minutes. Then the rest of the time ask her to save up her shouts for the designated shouting time?

I remember reading something I think it was in Playful Parenting, where the author of the book was in his car with his young daughter and a few of her friends. They were about to go somewhere where they'd have to be quiet, but they were very boisterous and he was worried they'd continue. So he told them they had to get all their screaming and shouting out of the way now, and he started them off with a big mock scream. Apparently it worked for them in that situation.

It'd be great if you could get your daughter to control her loudness. So she has plenty of opportunity to do it at some points, without being told off or asked to curb her loudness. But then at other points she has to know it's not appropriate and be able to control it.

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