Please help me! 3 year who doesn't need sleep is slowing doing me in!

[Wills]

I have 4 children and none of them have been particularly easy sleepers but I've always found a way but my fourth is defeating me and I'm getting very depressed, ill and seriously despairing! Until 8 months ago I'd ingeniously found a way of keeping her in her cot and simply made sure books, toys and milk cups surrounded her. Of course even then I would still get up approx 3 times a night but now she's out of her cot life has become horrendous. She simply doesn't need sleep like the rest of us (esp me!).

Its not that she's seeking comfort, she's simply awake! Add to this the fact that she's an incredibly capable child and has no concerns about running around the house helping herself to things and waking her siblings so they can play with her and I hope you're starting to get the picture. At 14months she'd mastered climbing the kitchen bar stools and if something was out of reach would simply drag a bar stool to the area. A year ago she discovered the step ladder which now has to live under lock and key. At just 2 she almost over dosed on antibiotics that had to be kept in the fridge despite the fridge being behind two child gates. She'd even helped herself to a syringe and was using it to draw the medicine up - all whilst I was on the phone to one of the other children's school arranging to drop off a forgotton swimming costume!

So hopefully I've set the scene, now to tell you what we've tried:

1. Black out blinds - but even at 2.00am in the morning she considers it to be morning so that's not the issue!
2. Good bed time routine - dinner, play, bath, tv, story, warm milk, song - bed - but she doesn't have a problem going to bed - just staying asleep!
3. lots of comfort toys
4. Lots of blankets/no blankets - have tried all ways
5. I've spent the last 8 months consistently putting her back to bed - she stays their obediently for approx 20 mins before getting up again
6. shouting
7. getting into bed with her - she then see me as a play thing
8. letting her into my bed - again she then sees me as a play thing
9. Piriton (not often but in total desperation - she has it prescribed for when her ezcema is bad)
10. Locking her in her bedroom - there's a bathroom lock on her door so I could lock it from the outside - I tried this one in total desperation but it only took her 15 mins to work it out. I haven't bothered turing it the other way around as she's worked out that a knife is used to open it and has mastered the bathroom lock as well.

So please please please can anyone help me! I keep being very ill and my doctor has helpfully told me its because I'm seriously sleep deprived. My husband works in Iraq 6 weeks out of every 8 so not a lot of help there! Meanwhile my mum is 2 hours drive away and my inlaws are 3 hours away. There are moments at night were I feel that I almost hate her - they're awful feelings to have - really awful!

you poor thing, no wonder you are getting ill!

you seem to have tried everything, what about chaining her to the bed?

how many hours does she sleep at night? no daytime nap I guess..

is she hyperactive, has she been assessed?

is her diet containing sugar or E numbers or other things?
I'd look into her diet and consult a nutritionist to see if there could be any improvements why she's "hype" or unable to sleep.
some foods and drinks can contain caffeine - which could cause her being unnaturally alert! (even things like chocolate or blackcurrant juice)

smack her bottom

does she or can she go to playgroup/nursery and are you home? (I'm sure you'd take naps if you could...)

take her to a sleep clinic?

oooo thanks for responding,

Definitely no e numbers, I'm really hot on such things. Oddly enough because she was taking in too much milk and getting constipated we moved her onto apple juice which someone else wisely pointed out would give her a sugar rush so we binned that approx 3 months ago so it can no longer be that.

I'm a little bit of a cook from basics person so I doubt its food as such.

She goes to nursery 3 days a week thank goodness because I come home from dropping her off and crawl straight back into bed!

What is a sleep clinic?

You can get extra tall stair/dog gates to put across doorways, I think you need to make sure she stays put for her own safety.

I think sleep clinics are possibly more for adults or older children, but you might be able to get referred through gp and or hospital to a specialized unit where they can help you figure out why she's so alert and unable to sleep and offer some advice.

I don't like saying things like taking her to a child psychologist, but as her attitude to sleeping is seriously affecting your health and no doubt hers you need professional help.

also she might actually not as bad as such, but to you it looks way worse because you are exhausted all the time, have no help and well, live with this.... so a unbiased assessment would be most welcome - I'd go as far as asking if she might be hyperactive.

Apparently a child who doesn't need a lot of sleep is a sign of a very intelligent child, they simply can't switch their brain off for as long a time as normal children. If she's worked out all the things to did for herself then she certainly sounds very bright.

Not helpful to you with regard to your lack of sleep however but maybe another way to view the reasons why she can't stay asleep.

Sorry I don't have anything more helpful to add. Hope you get to the bottom of it.

Chubbychipmonk - I'd heard that too. My eldest is aspergic and I've heard they dont need a lot of sleep either. With her (my eldest) she would take a very long time to go to sleep, but once asleep would remain so. It was a blessed relief when she learnt to read but even so her wakefulness was simply whilst we were awake.

amazingmumof6 - I agree especially given that aspergers runs in the family.

I do think she's rather bright, even for a fourth, though whether its academic remains to be seen but she's extraordinarily observant and my gut reaction when it comes to things in the house is to not let her observe how things work or where things are stored as she only needs to see once. Luckily both the freezer and the fridge have loud alarms otherwise the quanity of off food would have bankrupted us. She's always watching and learning is that one!

Does anyone think a gp would actually listen to me if I went in to complain of my child's 'wakefulness'

As your eldest is already diagnosed your gp should initiate a proper assessment. or ask your health visitor.

I don't see why a gp wouldn't listen, a child her age should have a min 10 hrs sleep/ night (if not more!)

I doubt she hit that target, or even half of it by the sound of it, and that is not normal and I'd be worried about her general health and growth and other aspects of development.

she maybe bright and observant, but that's not the point.

besides it's you who is suffering and you are pretty much bringing them up alone and if you can't function properly due to lack of sleep who's going to look after the kids?

I don't think you are complaining, you have a very valid concern/problem which has to be addressed!

I don't think any gp would refuse to help you unless they are looking for a law suit.

Thank you soooo much! Really needed that. My GP is very good but extremely 'cost' conscious and recently I've found I've been palmed off because of cost rather than sense.

that's disgusting, poor you!

tell him it's more cost effective to prevent a problem then to cure it and he should ponder about the meaning of the Hippocratic Oath he took!

I wish I could come over and take over for the nights, I don't mind being up - then I'd sleep in the day while you dealing with mine? fair trade?

(we have 6 I must add, though no health problems, just bloody naughty angelic)

I feel for you OP, but I was like your DC - I needed about 5 hours sleep/night, had ditched all naps before a year old and was (according to my poor parents) too intelligent for my own good. I didn't and haven't changed!

With a history of Aspergers in the family it would be good to check, but some people just don't need the sleep (whatever the books say!).

Oh dear, this is a really difficult one. First off I take my hat off to you for managing FOUR kids! I can barely cope with the one!
I have an almost 4 year old who is a really crap sleeper. Never really slept through the night (eg 8 til 7) and usually wakes up once or twice. We now have stupid early wakings which are killing me.
I thought kids this age needed 12 hours. Well my son gets 10 if that. He seems to be ok on it - sometimes grumpy but usually manages fine. I let him have a rest around 1 for an hour but he never falls asleep.
I comfort myself with the fact he is super intelligent! ;)
He also wont stay in bed. I have tried gradual withdrawal to get him off to sleep but he wont drop off again at 2am without me in his bed.
It's so hard isn't it..