Are we cheating? Dry nights

[BoyMeetsWorld]

Hi, my 4 yr old is adamant he wants to be a 'big boy' & not wear nappies anymore. He's been dry in the day ages but still wears them at night.

We did try 6 months ago without much success. This time I've started getting him out of bed at 9pm, when I go to bed (about 11) & then again at 4/5am and just putting him on the toilet. He basically stays asleep the whole time!

It works - we've had 3 dry nights & he's v proud. But is this really just kidding ourselves? By doing this will he actually learn to do it on his own - I can't carry on forever getting up & putting him on the toilet all night! & iv heard all the theories that if kids haven't developed a certain chemical they can't know when they need to go, so are we just 'pretending'?

Only plus point is he has woken himself up at 5am on two nights and gone on his own then gone back to bed...

We lifted ds1 for years...he's 9 and only just dry. To us, it was better than the alternative- nappies/pull ups and low self esteem. Ds3 is now 5 and happily wears nappies still. He says he'll give them up when it snows! (Grin) , do fingers crossed this week!

If I were you, I'd pull back the 9pm lift and try to get to the stage where you're only lifting at 11. It's great that he's waking himself at 5 and getting back to bed. You're doing well there!

One tip- on the bed, have a waterproof mattress then a sheet, then put on a pad (disposable or washable) and a top sheet thar is easy to wash. It saves stripping the whole bed sometimes! I use old flat cot sheets as 'draw sheets' over the pads.

if you are going to get him up in the night for the toilet then you should wake him so he is aware of what he is doing as otherwise you are teaching him to pee in his sleep (which is what you are trying to get away from).

Thank you both, some really good advice there.

Powerpop - I can definitely see that logic. Will that not teach him to wake throughout the night though rather than sleeping through?

he will need to learn to wake when he has a full bladder anyway. I went through one phase of lifting dd when she had a spate of wet nights after being dry - I only lifted her before I went to bed and made sure she spoke to me and was aware she was at the toilet. I never lifted during the night. I never did the lifting thing at any other time or with ds at all.

Both mine have waterproof mattress protectors and ds has an extra pampers bed mat under his sheet too as he is the one most likely to have an accident (not often thank goodness)

www.eric.org.uk/Bedwetting/info_bedwetting_wetting_parents - has lots of useful info on bed wetting

You can't really have it both ways - if he sleeps through, then, without your help, he will may wet the bed. If he can get himself up to have a wee in the middle of the night, he will not be sleeping through.

I wouldn't normally see much point in lifting but, as it is important to your DS to not wear nappies, I can see why you are doing this. I agree with the other poster to try dropping the 9 pm lifting and just continue with the 11 pm one for the time being.