is there something wrong?

[cuddlyd64]

hi i have a granddaughter,she is 3 months old and i am concerned there is something wrong with her. she is bright enough but never looks at your face,instead preferring to stare at some distant corner of room or above my head. she also doesnt seem to smile much no matter how long you talk to her. there is nothing wrong with her sight as she will follow you sometimes with her eyes tho not very often. I hope im just being a bit sillyand there is nothing wrong with her but my heart tells me there is. i dont want to discuss it with my daughter just in case im wrong. Does anyone have any advice?

Thinking about the looking away thing, do you have any bright coloured pieces of art on the wall, or is there a lamp shade/ceiling light that she could be focussing on? Do you wear your glasses on top of your head?

Sometimes babies will deliberately look away from you if they are being over-stimulated. I'm not suggesting that this is the case, just another possible theory based on 'no matter how long you talk to her'.

I'm assuming your dd has not noticed these things, or perhaps the baby doesn't exhibit these behaviours with your dd.

Does your dd see a health visitor on a regular basis? What is your relationship with your dd like?

Sorry for all the questions!

I'm sure someone else will be along soon, who may be able to offer some advice, or who has experienced this.

Does she smile for others or look at their faces?

She is the same with everyone,there's really nothing on the walls for her to look at nor on my head either,when I put myself in her line of sight she just looks somewhere els. I have a very close relationship with my daughter but she's a terrible worrier,I don't want to say anything to distress her in case I'm wrong. She also has a very noticeable turn in her left eye tho that may not be related. I've had 3 children,all grown up now and to me it doesn't seem normal

I can understand why you're worried but I think leave it for now - we can't diagnose over the internet and babies develop at such massively different rates that she may be completely different in a few weeks' time.

All you can really do is make damn sure that your DD keeps all the HV appointments in the hope that if something is up, the Health Visitor will spot it. If you're still worried in a few months' time then you could maybe phone the Health Visitor yourself and ask for reassurance - that way your DD won't be worried unnecessarily if it is nothing.

I think she's probably fine. My own 3mo used to look over my shoulder all the time, it's just something that tiny babies do. Presumably you don't have care of her fulltime. You can't expect her eyes to be focussing properly yet either, so the 'turn' you're seeing in her left eye will almost certainly disappear.

My ds always hated eye contact. I remember clearly how I started to worry when he was about three months old, especially compared to my friend's ds who was the same age and stared straight at faces ALL the time. My ds is now six and doing well. Eye contact still isn't brilliant but other than that he is good. Try not to worry.

Oh and he also used to actively look away at the corner if the room. Looking back and knowing him now, I just think he found it too much sensory overload to look at faces. Not that you would guess it now, I can hear him laughing loudly at you've been framed as I type!

Thankyou for your advice,think I will just leave things a while and see how it goes.

My little boy did this all the time at that age, I really used to worry that there was something wrong. At about 16 weeks he stopped, he's now 19 weeks and watches me all the time (unless the cat is in the room, which is a different story!)

As a parent of a child with a squint, I think I would get the 'turn' in his eye checked out, just to make sure everything is developing ok. Other than that, he sounds like my DS (now 5), was at that age, he quickly grew out of it.

I had my twins checked out at about 10 months old as they both had slight eye turns. The optician at the hospital told me it was very common in young babies and usually corrected itself by 12 months or so. I doubt you would get a referral as young as 3 months.

Also my DTD did not smile until gone 3 months (although she was 4 weeks premature) and now she never stops smiling, laughing, chattering (they're 13 months).

I'd personally hang fire for another few weeks. 3 months is still very young.

Do you have black and white toys/books? They're good for babies to focus on

They won't be able to assess for a squint until 6 months as really all babies squint on and off until then. Vision only really becomes meaningful at about 4 months anyway, so what I'm trying to say is please don't worry xxx

I'm wondering would it be possible to ask the hv to have a look at her without my daughter knowing about it,or would that be interfering? At least that way,if there's nothing wrong I won't have worried my daughter needlessly?

I'd be pretty annoyed if my DM asked the HV without involving me. In fact I would be fuming. But that's just me, I don't know how your daughter would feel.

No, I don't think you can ask the HV to look at your granddaughter without your daughter's permission or knowledge, and, frankly, nor should you. Several posters have reassured you that the behaviour is normal and that any possible squint can't be looked at yet anyway. I think you need to take a step back, tbh.

Cuddly64 - Bloody hell no! Don't take her to see hv.

I'd never trust my mum with my dd (alone) again after that. Indirectly you would also be demonstrating to your dd that you doubt her parenting skills.

As the others have said, either please just leave it for a while, or gently raise your concerns with your dd.