Sharing - or rather, complete inability to!

[Skillbo]

DD is 3,5 and a really sweet girl EXCEPT she just doesn't share with her brother who has just turned 1. She just takes his things, sneaks off with hers, snatches, says everything is hers and it makes playtime with the 2 of them really hard work. She is clearly still quite jealous of DS but does love him but just won't share - even attention. She'll shove him out the way if he comes in for cuddles, asks for books to be read if there is even a glimmer that i might be focussing on my son... it's a total pain in the bits

So, is this an age thing (which i am happy to accept if she's likely to improve in a while), a jealousy thing or some sort of naughty behaviour i need to nip in the bud? i am thinking she'll grow out of it but it would be nice to get some reassurance!

sod the terrible 2's - this is way harder!!

completely normal behaviour (for whatever reason) and I think she might think that baby bro would just ruin her things.

I wouldn't say she's naughty, kids her age actually prefer to play on their own or side by side..

get a special box for each (his & hers!) and she can help you sort the toys. if she can choose what to give to him she's more likely to calm down about the situation.
she can have her things kept safely, out of baby's reach, but in return she has to understand that some things are just for him, so no sharing is ok, but snatching is not allowed.

you can start playing board games with her to introduce/reinforce the concept of taking turns - something she can do just with you, so her craving for your attention will be satisfied too!.

playing "shops" will teach her to swap things (money for goods) so you can then apply the idea to playtime, try saying "ok, you can have one of his toys, but what will you give him instead?"

hope this helps

thanks so much - what you've written makes so much sense and some great ideas! and I'm guessing with 6 of them, these are tried and tested so THANK YOU

Don't use the word share, and don't try to make her share her own things. Make it clear that some things are hers, some things are his and some things are owned jointly and while you will defend her ownership rights against him you will also defend his against her. The jointly owned things are for taking turns on. A sand-timer that runs for about three minutes can be invaluable.

It is partly an age thing but at 3.5 she's plenty old enough to have the self-control and understanding to grasp the concept of possession and who owns what and how we deal with things owned jointly. A better understanding won't come unless you teach it.

my dd struggles to share with her sister sometimes, dd1 is 5.6 and dd2 is 2.2.
what we did was had a tall toy cupboard. dd1 small/precious things are on top shelves and dd2s more robust toys are lower so dd1 doesnt have to worry about her toys being ruined while she is out.
floor toy boxes are filles with shareable safe toys and if someone is playing with them you cant snatch. this goes for dd2 aswell, when she was a baby lots of relatives said oh let her have it which i found unfair on dd1.
for xmas we made sure 2 toys were shared ones, lots of toys were similar or duplicate so they had 1 each, their different toys are theirs and the other must ask to use them.
dd1 got very jealous when dd2 got mobile and became a little girl not a baby who could take things and come for cuddles.
now they mostly play lovely