Please help..noisy toddler.

[caramal]

Ok so my DS is 23 months. He is a ball of energy and spends his day running around and "squealing" at a deafeningly high pitch. He's a lively bubbly little boy but keeps scaring other children and making them cry when he screams/squeals at them when he gets excited because he wants to play.

He doesn't sit still for very long he just wants to be on the go all the time. I took him to a new group that involves sign language and activities but I ended up walking out early in tears because of parents giving me dirty looks/tutting/covering their ears :( really made me feel unwelcome.

Don't get me wrong I love that my son is happy but he "squeals" at the slightest thing..how do I calm him down and get him to do it less or teach him it scares other children?

He doesn't go to nursery we can't afford it but he goes to soft play regularly and has weekly play dates with his 2 remaining friends.

Sorry for the long post

God that would drive me mad!! Not on for the other parents to tut at you, not helpful.

I have no idea how you'd get him to stop I'm afraid. Does he show any other signs of hyperactivity, or is it just the screaming/squealing? Could he be overtired? Hungry? Would it help if you ran around the garden/park with him every morning as an outlet for the noise? Then you could work on teaching him that squealing is for outdoors only? You've probably covered all this already, but didn't want to read and run! Hopefully some one with first hand experience will come along soon.

I'd try not reacting at all to the squealing and making a huge fuss when he shows he's happy in other ways.

He sounds a bit like my DS! He's very happy and a bit manic! He does a growly "lion voice" all the time when he's excited. It sounds a bit satanic. We get very confused looks...

(Almost impossible not to react to it in public though. Tricky.)

Sounds like he has found his voice (great!) but that he could do with some help learning to focus on things - he's a bundle of energy so any focussing needs to be brief! Rather than a sign language class, toddler swimming or a gym class might be better ... Re language development and learning to concentrate, how about finding some songs to sing with him which have actions that go with them - Wheels on the bus etc..etc.. or a green mouse Spanish songs as some of those have really fun actions and he'd learn some Spanish too. Also take him out for 'walks' and make up little rhymes which fit with the things you are doing together. Exhausting stuff but it might help to get his attention for a few minutes ..

The squealing is all the time though when he sees something on tv, if he sees an animal, if he's running, playing..anytime.

Between me and DH he goes out about 6 days a week for at least 3 hours, round the shops, 20 min walks, round the park, groups
I sometimes spend 2 hours at soft play and I'm shattered from chasing him around up steps/down slides etc yet he's still full of energy.

I do also spend time reading with him as he loves books. We spend up to an hour doing flash cards and getting Lego out or another activity like painting.

Has he any language skills or is he getting frustrated that he can't communicate?

Iv lost count the amount of times Iv sang "wind the bobbin up" and "head shoulders knees and toes" he knows all the actions and some of the words now..

He does seem a little behind with language but he knows his numbers 1-10. Can say around 49 words but uses about half regularly. He understands instructions and can usually tell me or let me know if he's hungry/thirsty/needs a nappy change. Could've be frustration I'm not sure.

He squeals when he's happy/excited mostly

I'd try to do lots of talking, singing etc.. with him to use his voice and help him to develop his language skills, but do it while you are doing other more active physical things so he doesn't get fed up or think he is getting formal instruction.

Thanks for the tip of swimming/gym class though. He loves swimming but he's not been to any classes

He sounds just like my 24mo DD... she's a bundle of excited screams and squeals, never sits still and jumps, climbs, prone to running (fast) out of shops if not in buggy.. total handful, she's also inquisitive, bright and funny.

Chasing other kids is her favourite past time of all times and if another toddler is willing to run around and around with her then she's in her element.

We've had people frown at us, and tut and people do sort of say wow, when I'm there trying to catch up with her when she's taken off - but you know what I don't give a toss. She's a very happy and contented toddler and numerous people also comment on that. I'd certainly not let some snotty nosed mothers at a signing class make you doubt things.. sounds like he's a fantastic fun character and I think it's all about doing activities that suit him and you - for instance I certainly don't entertain taking DD for a 'quite coffee and natter' with a friend as I know I'd spend half the time running round a coffee shop.. whereas other kids will sit still, just accept yours wont and enjoy his energy. I'm very relaxed at soft play places etc and generally let her get on and find her own feet / way so I'm not always following her around.

I don't think a 20 min walk is sufficient - my DD spends probably over an hour and half with childminder and other kids running round the park and she's still not worn out! Perhaps you could spend longer in the park with other kids to entertain him so that you're not doing the chasing round ?

His language sounds fine for that age, DD is learning at a rapid rate now but only a month ago it wasn't as vast.

Not sure if classes would work if they stress you out - what about just taking him swimming ? Does he go to nursery or childminder ? Perhaps look at some form of a break for you that way ?

Opps, sorry written an essay - just wanted to reassure you you not alone!

sorry, just read not at nursery - but could see if you could get a childminder to give you a break once a week and vary his week ?
And also, bet the squealing really isn't that loud - honestly you should hear my daughter - she'd love it if someone came and squealed at her and they could play chase..
Are you sure the classes are age appropriate ? I thought baby signing was for much younger kids which therefore in a sense would mean that he's too old and not going to benefit from it and yes, possibly scare the other children. DD gets to 'hang out' with lots of older children at childminders therefore the squealing doesn't scare them and it's all part of the fun - have you got friends with slightly older children say 3/4 that he can run round with and play chase etc.

Yea he Live chasing around after BIL's 11 year old, playing hide and seek same with another relatives 8 year old but I'd like him to be able to socialise with children his own age. He makes BIL's DD cry when she comes round (she's 9 months though).

It really is VERY loud. :/
We spend hours in the park when it's dry and sunny, it's been rather wet/cold recently so 20-30 mins walk really and then indoor play.

Complete personal opinion but we'd rather not leave him at a childminders. He will be going to preschool in September though..attached to the toddler group I take him too now so we will both get a break.

Loves* sorry..predictive text

I know this is an old post but I hope that @caramal can update the community regarding this type of noise and if it disappeared.. my DS is 26 mo now and he makes the same noise frequently. He is otherwise normal toddler with excellent social and language skills, he is very hyperactive as well

Hi, happy to update.
I wrote my original post when my son was 2, he is now a happy bright 11 year old.
He was diagnosed with autism at 3 years old.
His squealing was part of his autism (stimming) and yes it was very loud (like a high pitched scream). His speech regressed and by age 4 he knew words) but would only communicate with a handful of singular words so mainly stimming to express himself.
After a year of speech and language therapy his speech progressed well. You wouldn't be able to tell now he ever had any issues with speech.
He still stimms but more of a humming sound now with involuntary arm flapping.
I now know its something he does when he's happy. So looking back it's nice to know he was such a happy toddler.

This is just my experience. Does not mean others will be the same. But if similar issues persist it might be worth seeking advice 😊

@caramal thanks for your response after all those years. It is great to hear that this behavior turned out to be nothing serious for your son.
Regarding the diagnosis with autism; what was the major motive for it? was it the regression in language or only the stimming noises?

Moreover, did the hyperactivity persist? I sometimes wonder if my DS has ADHD.. his pediatrician says DS does not fit for autism diagnosis ..

Again, thank you very much

He started nursery at 2.5 years old. They highlighted a few concerns too with the speech regression, and squealing, and also some repetatuve behaviours so they referred him.
He is a lot calmer now. Although fidgets a lot when sitting. He has also had an ADHD diagnosis too although he presents very few behaviours so it's mild/borderline.
They all present so differently so it's hard to pinpoint it on one thing sometimes.
What behaviours does your son have?
It is worrying and frustrating trying to get them the right help and support.
Feel free to drop me a message if it's easier.

@caramal Thank you very much again. My son now is 26 MO and his language is slightly above average for his age (per his Ped.), motor skills are now very good and he is very social and loves to play with peers and older kids as well. It is the hyperactivity, the noisy sound, some sleeping difficulty as he wakes up 3-4 times a night (seems not to improve in this area), and recently his tantrums increased.

There was a time 14-18 mo were he was behind in some motor skills, in addition during this time he had some repetitive motions but he stopped around 18 months! At the time I was worried about Autism but during his 18 months checkup he did great!

I feel like I can't have a new born and thinking of delaying the second pregnancy until commitments to DS becomes less!

I am worried that his behavior will get worse with time and can't decide on second pregnancy :(

@caramal really thanks for taking the time to read and respond ... I am sure some other mums will find this thread useful.

@Worriedfirstimemum In my experience and I know a few peadiatricians have said the same to me. They are apprehensive about diagnosing ADHD until after 6 years old. As it may just be toddler phase/active child/terrible twos etc.
I think my son had his diagnosis at 6/7.

That's great his language, motor skills and interaction are all good!
The tantrums and sleep could be age related. They tend to push the boundaries between 2/3 years old and sleep patterns change. He may sleep better when he drops his nap soon (if he still has one).
Might be worth making a note of when he is squealing. Is it a particular time of day, when he's happy or overtired etc.
But with all the issues together if you are concerned keep pushing for advice or a second opinion.

Also I only had one child. But he has a very close bond with his cousins who live 5 minutes away. Completely understand the apprehension of delaying another pregnancy but there's never a right time really 😊.
Good luck

@caramal As for the squealing: seems like it happens when he is too angry or too happy.
Did your DS has any learning difficulties as a result of this? My DS will start preschool soon and I am stressed out that he will not do well despite the fact to me he seems bright: Knows numbers and matches shapes, looks like he is very good with taking orders and can focus on tasks he likes or cartoons he loves (TV).

@Worriedfirstimemum
OK, just expressing himself in a way he knows how to at the moment.
No learning difficulties. He's had some issues with speech but always been ahead with learning really.
It sounds like he is doing well. All kids learn at different rates and some children will not know the things your son does already.
Just continue to support him with his learning at home. Colours, numbers, shapes, writing etc. He is still very young so try not to worry too much.

@caramal Thank you very much for all the replies. They were really calming to me after many sleepless nights...
Thanks 🙏

Found this whilst googling. How is your son now? … my little lad is as you described and they are wanting to refer him for an autism assessment.