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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

At what age did/do your children help themselves to snacks?

20 replies

tweetyfish · 19/04/2006 17:55

DS is 3.9 yrs and if he's hungry he'll help himself to yogurts, rolls, fruit etc. He doesn't ask and if he can't reach it he'll go upstairs and get his step...

I'm not sure what to think about this, i think want him to ask me first, but not sure how to go about it, but I also quite like the fact that he's resourceful... Also have no idea if it's normal development Generally fried and unthinking brain is what I have!

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Original poster

tweetyfish · 19/04/2006 17:58

I think what i was trying to say is that he's very independent and I'd like to encourage that, within limits.... just not sure what is too much indenpendence.....

OP posts:

Enid · 19/04/2006 17:59

Mine can (3, 6) but they know to ask first

they can help themselves from the fruitbowl without asking though and get themselves a drink of wtaer

frogs · 19/04/2006 17:59

Never. If they want food outside mealtimes they come and ask first. Otherwise (a) they have an incentive not to eat at mealtimes (b) I wouldn't be able to keep track of what I had in stock and (c) it would mean extra mess.

Mine are 10, 6 and 2 btw.

charliecat · 19/04/2006 18:01

Mine can reach the fruit bowl and the tap but other things have to be asked for and are often refused depending on how near dinner we are.
They can reach the crisp/crap cupboard but they have to be allowed into it IYKWIM.

Twiglett · 19/04/2006 18:04

he was 2.5 about .. but I always insisted he asked first .. you don't want a small child eating their way through an entire fruit bowl

Original poster

tweetyfish · 19/04/2006 18:06

Thanks guys, you're all saying what i though I knew... will have to think of s stratergy that'll get through!

OP posts:

Enid · 19/04/2006 18:26

just say no!

teach him to dress himself if resourceful - much more useful!

Original poster

tweetyfish · 19/04/2006 18:29

He's pretty good at dressing himself, he's quite independent, and I think he would love to do everything for himself given half a chance. The problem is that I don;t always catch him in the act, and I find it hard to take food that he already has away from him. I think that may be the only way to go and hope there's not too much wasting.

OP posts:

hulababy · 19/04/2006 18:29

DD is just turned 4 and she knows she has to ask first, and if I say no for whatever reason, then that stands.

hulababy · 19/04/2006 18:30

If he took it without permission I would remove the food TBH. Even if only until he had asked properly. Then tell him what'll happen if he does it again - taken away and not returned. And follow it.

motherinferior · 19/04/2006 18:31

Mine appear to snarf their way through the fruitbowl quite happily, and frankly I don't mind.

alex8 · 19/04/2006 18:34

I would kill to have my son eat the whole fruitbowl.

CHICagoMUM · 19/04/2006 19:07

DD (4) is allowed to get herself a drink when she wants it (we have a britax filter jug on the work surface) but not food, that must be asked for, and a "no" means no.

foxinsocks · 19/04/2006 19:10

mine are allowed to help themselves but not before they've checked with me

they can get water from the tap but I tend not to let them get juice by themselves unless I fancy cleaning the floor at the same time

youngmama · 19/04/2006 19:31

mine have to ask before they go and help themselves-and no means no.They can help themselves to drinks though when they are old enough to do it themselves.
My kids are 6yrs old,4yrs old and 2yrs old. I've let them help themselves from 2.5/3yrs onwards.But if they tried without asking I would take the food off them.

anniebear · 19/04/2006 20:01

Mine have to ask they are 4 and a half

But we do still have a safety gate up in the kitchen door as one has special needs!

So they can't always get into the kitchen anyway!!

But if they did help themselves they would be told not to and that they have to ask

LeahE · 19/04/2006 20:04

DS is 15 months and already takes yogurts out of the fridge. He does carry them over to us and hold them out and say "Ga", though, which I'm interpreting as asking us (he's preverbal) -- he can't get the lids off or get a spoon without our assistance, anyway. As he learns to talk I'll work on asking first. I'm not against healthy snacks between meals, particularly as we've got a family history of hypoglycaemia, but there needs to be control.

FrannyandZooey · 19/04/2006 20:07

I think it's good to let them be independent about food to a certain extent. Deciding for yourself when you are hungry, what and how much you need to eat is an important life skill and one IMO that most adults lack.

I cleared out a drawer in the kitchen for ds when he was about 2.5 to help himself from whenever he likes. It always has things like dried fruit, oatcakes, etc in, and I put in one or two pieces of fruit each day and occasionally something unusual for a treat.

threebob · 19/04/2006 20:11

Ds doesn't feel pain properly and so doesn't get hungry. He's never asked for food and so I just provide it 5 times a day when I think he needs it. He will wander to the fridge or the tap to get a drink, he's 3.

Jbck · 19/04/2006 23:04

DD is 4.5 and for the last year or so I let her eat fruit whenever she wants. She's a very good eater & unless it is literally 5 minutes to tea-time then I don't have any problem with it. Crisps & chocolate are all sitting in the understairs cupboard, which is where she plays shops, but she knows she can't help herself to these and she's never done it so far. In fact I once caught her in the cupboard eating a dry weetabix when there was a ton of Xmas sweets, selection boxes etc right beside her. Long may it continue! She doesn't really ask but sort of 'I'm going to have a banana Mummy' in an 'is that alright' way. She can only just reach, on tiptoe, the juice shelf in fridge but more because of possible accidents I'm discouraging this at the moment. I usually leave a little sports type water bottle around & she just helps herself, sometime putting in her tumbler & often just drinking from the spout.
Her nursery have an open snack policy with the children helping themselves from a little cafe style setting. Milk/Water & cereals are all dispensed from measured containers. Fruit is in little tubs and they learn to spread their own toast etc. They must clear up after themselves & let the girls know if they've had a spillage, works very well & teaches them about control, sharing and responsbility. It's actually very cute to see them sitting like little ladies who lunch.

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