Monstrous behaviour from 3 year old DS

[zebedeethezebra]

My otherwise charming DS (who is 3 next week) has over the last month or so become a complete monster. Examples:

• Throwing things in the loo
• Throwing things in or out of the bath
• Throwing things down the stairs
• Throwing water out of the bath
• Snatching my glasses (actually he's done this since he was a baby)
• Kicking, hitting, biting or pulling on my clothes (even when he is getting attention)
• Ripping books, etc

Is this some sort of phase that most boys go through and how long will it last?

Yesterday was a total nightmare. At dinner he threw some of his food. He had already had various soft animals confiscated for throwing water / things out of the bath. Then whilst my back was turned to get his pyjamas he started throwing his toys down the stairs. And as fast as I could pick things up, he threw more and more, books, clothes, toys, basically anything he could lay his hand on. The stairs were so covered in stuff I couldn't take him downstairs and out of the house to cool off because I was worried we would both trip on something and fall down.

We had had a similar (but less severe) episode earlier in the afternoon when he didn't want to nap and I made him help me to clear the mess up. Then I said he couldn't have any tv after dinner. But it was far worse in the evening.

Quite frankly I didn't know what to do, as nothing would stop him (unless I just basically sat on him until DP got home). There was nothing left to confiscate. DS thought it was hilarious. DP was furious when he came home from work to such a mess (obviously) and basically said I should control him more.

What am I supposed to do? He doesn't respond to time out as he won't stay still in one place whatever I do. Is it really so hard to control a 3 year old?

Trajectory schema! Yes, that's what my son had and what my friend told me about.

Anyone know how long this phase will last for??

Schema's are basically the child joining up their knowledge about the world to develop their understanding. The more they get to experiment with the principle which is of interest to them the sooner they will get it all straight in their heads and move onto another one. Of course there will also be an element of the child enjoying certain actions, especially throwing, and there's also attention seeking behaviour which might prolong it. You need to try to work out which one is happening.

Offer him all the throwing opportunities mentioned above to help him explore it. Make it clear what, where and when it is appropriate to throw and the rest of the time use a clear instruction in a firm calm voice. "No throwing", "put it down" "hands down".

If he starts throwing things over the stairgate go to him, say "hands down" and guide him towards a different activity. Don't just try to get him to stop, move him on to something else.

Do the same in the bath. Say "Water in the bath" or whatever is appropriate and if he continues take out the plug and get him out straight away.

Be very consistent. It can't be OK to throw in one place one day and not the next. Make sure he knows the rules from experience.

Try to give him your positive attention while he is still up and then tidy once he is in bed. That way he won't be trying to get your attention by doing things you find unacceptable.

Make sure your DP knows that you need to present a united front. If he tells you off and undermines you in front of your DS your job will be ten times harder, to say nothing of the damage he will cause to your relationship.

Good luck OP. It won't be forever.