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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

13 month old sleeping - or lack thereof!

11 replies

Ntmumbutdad79 · 09/01/2013 22:00

Hopefully someone can help, as I am really struggling! I'm a widowed dad of one 13 month old, and she will not go to sleep until every ounce of strength has left her body!

I have a childminder she goes to, and we have our night time routine of dinner, bath and bottle. I tried for nearly two weeks to put her in bed, make soothing noises, be there with her etc etc, but she screams until she vomits, throws her head about and hits it on purpose, crys, screams etc. She will not sleep unless its on her terms.

She is awake around 7am most mornings, has an afternoon nap of approx 2 -3 hours and will then stay awake until around 10-11pm. She is just genuinely not tired. I tried the whole crying it it out thing but at the point she vomits that's when I give in. I'm tough but no one should traumatise their child like that.

Does anyone have any practical advice for a frazzled dad?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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mummy2b2011 · 09/01/2013 22:24

Hello! Wow that sounds tough. I wonder whether she's sleeping too much in the afternoon? My daughter slept for an hour maximum during the day at that age, though she has always been a total sleep refuser- especially during the day. I think a bedtime routine like you mentioned is the best way forward. Does she get drowsy whilst drinking her bottle? Maybe she's still hungry?

It sounds really difficult- maybe ask to have this moved to the sleep section- there are lots of people on there who have great advice and support.

Good luck!

mummy2b2011 · 09/01/2013 22:26

By the way: has she always been like this? When you say that you give in when she vomits, do you mean you pick her up/cuddle her/ etc. - does this work? Does she then fall asleep? I certainly have the view that lots of cuddles and reassurances are a good thing. Some 'high needs' children just don't respond well to being left to cry- they just fight it and fight it!

lucidlady · 09/01/2013 22:30

What time do you try to put her to bed? My DD gets like this. Sending you lots of sympathy!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 10/01/2013 11:18

Gosh this sounds tough,, in fact it's almost exactly like our DS was at that age so you have my sympathy. How was last night?

How do you feel about putting her in your bed? Do you think she, and you, might settle?

When you say she sleeps for 2 to 3 hours in the day what time is this? Could you tell us what a typical day looks like with things like Milk, food and sleep?

Does she get any time outside? Know its dreary but getting them outside is important to help reset the body clock and to induce sleep.

Have you read any books on sleep? You might like Helping Your Baby to Sleep and Sound Sleep by Sarah Woodhouse. Both are written by parents and both are evidence based (unlike some other baby guru books).

Have a read of some of these links too foods that help you to sleep, 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep and isis.

Keep posting and let us know how you are getting on

Twattergy · 10/01/2013 19:48

Her sleep in the afternoon is probably finishing too late. You need to either move the nap forward so she is awake by 3pm latest or only let her sleep for 1.5 hours max. If she wakes 7am aim for an 8pm latest bedtime, nap starting around midday.

Original poster

Ntmumbutdad79 · 10/01/2013 20:18

Jiltedjohnsjulie, thanks so much for the tips. Even the childminder says she is amazed by her energy. Not once has she been able to put her down without the screaming. Me and my wife before she passed, always commented on it. She's defo not hungry, just full of energy! The foods to help sleep link is great, as she loves to eat! Make it all fresh too, she hates jars, so at least feeding wont be a prob. Thank you all.

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 10/01/2013 20:25

Good to hear that she is eating well and full of energy, you are obviously doing something right

How are things this evening? If you feel like you want us to help tweak things to ease the evenings for you, let us know your routine now and well see if we can help.

Like twat says, it might just be a case of decreasing her nap or moving it forward.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 11/01/2013 11:09

op keep posting and let us know how you are getting on

BlablaSos · 11/01/2013 16:37

Hi. Dies she take a soother? Mine was a bit like that, then we introduced a dummy. It really worked. Late to introduce it I know, but if it helps her and you ...

JiltedJohnsJulie · 11/01/2013 21:38

Rather unfortunate typo there blabla given the OPs situation.

mewkins · 12/01/2013 08:26

Hi
I agree with the others. 1.5hr nap max (possibly cutting to an hour) starting at around midday and then she will be tired at bedtime. My dd is also 'spirited'- lots if fun and endless energy and huge imagination but can scream and kick up a storm if not happy with something. Sleep is so important for her so it's really important to stick rigidly to nap and bedtimes I think. We did sleep training when dd was 6mo and I quickly learned that she was mucch better being left alone and would self settle better that way that being patted and soothed. Just part of her personality really. She quickly got the message that bedtime is for sleeping and now happily waves us off after a story. Good luck and i think once you shorten the naps you will find things much easier.

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