My 10 year old keeps crying.

[sandsdabomb5]

Hello all. I am 35 weeks pregnant and I have a ten year old daughter, and she keeps crying at school and at home. My partner and I have tried talking to her about it but she says she is not sure why she does. We think it might be related to us having a baby and that she won't get all the attention once it's born, or might even be forgotten about, but we've tried talking to her and reassuring her that won't be the case. It's just very confusing that she doesn't seem to know herself what's wrong, or at least explain to us.

One minute she can be quite happy and laughing with a friend, then she'll just start crying again. Could it also be a hormonal thing as her body is changing?

If anyone else has been in a similar situation and can help, please reply!

Thank you
Sandra

Hormones maybe?

Could she be over tired? Does she get enough sleep?

I thought maybe hormones as it has been going on for a while now.
She probably doesn't get enough sleep, how much sleep should a 10 year old have?

I would guess hormones especially if she doesn't know why she is crying. My dd, 9, cries a lot when she is tired I call it a tizz!

9.30 - 7am

But obviously it varies!

She fell asleep tonight at about 9.15 and i wake her just after 7:30 so i am hoping this long sleep may help, and i am going to keep trying to get her to sleep sooner. :)

I'm sure sleep will help, we all cope better if we are not tired. Even now, I can be more emotional if I'm tired

It's a difficult age isn't it. I have boys, DS aged 12 gets a bit ratty and short at times. He's placid most of the time but sometimes he can just be terse and retreat and stay rather quiet, I know he is brooding about something. It's fairly recent and he says he is happy so I think it's probably hormones kicking in.

Ah, the poor love! I don't have a child her age but I wanted to post because I went through a very similar thing at her age. It was very much a hormone thing! The only thing I'd say is that my parents became frustrated about it sometimes because I couldn't give them a reason why I was crying a lot and that didn't help. Just give her plenty of hugs and tell her it's quite normal to be overwhelmed by hormonal changes at her age. :)

thank you for all your comments, she is very well behaved, it just makes me sad that she is sad :( i want to help her but its hard when even she doesnt know why she is crying there are a few bullying issues going on in the school but she has been put in the other class with her friends and they stick up for her when the girls are horrible to her, im hoping everything will calm down, and she will get back to her old self i feel very helpless x

it's probably a combination of hormones and changing circumstances, having a baby will certainly change the family dynamic! Maybe she is worried but doesn't want to upset you? If you think she might be depressed could you visit your GP together? I was diagnosed with depression as a teen and my therapist suggested I'd likely been depressed since I was 10, so it does happen. I second the previous poster saying give lots of hugs, she might seem/act quite grown up sometimes but carry on mothering her!

I was going to ask about possible bullying, but then saw your update - my own DD who is also 10 went through this the last couple of terms, so I feel for you as it's heartbreaking to see them so sad - initially she didn't own up to what was going on, as it was actually friends who were bullying her - weird loyalty thing going on -

like you I wondered about hormones, but turned out to be a combination of lack of sleep - she was worrying & not sleeping well because of the bullying & felt very isolated because of the bullying - could there be more going on than you realise?? - is it possible that like mine she doesn't want to worry you - especially as you are pregnant?? - it might be worth keeping an eye on - mine crumbled & it all came out after I pushed her to speak up when she was upset & angry at me for no reason - she broke down, sobbed hysterically & it all came out.

Does your DD have any out of school activities with none school friends? Getting My DD socialising more away from school, encouraging other friendships helped my DD a lot - thankfully after an initial blip, her school were also good, but her head did tell me that this is the age all this stuff kicks off & boy has it kicked off amongst my DDs crowd - at different times each of her once long time good friends have tried on the bully side kick hat & DD has been the target because she has refused to bitch about others - one girl has always been the ringleader, but the others have all been manipulated & have been involved too & apparently these days, this is quite normal at this age - so definitely worth keeping in mind

Thankfully after a few hellish terms, my DD has come through it & it now rolls off her back far better, also most of the others like her seem to have really matured & have come out the other side it - they too have been targeted by the ringleader at different times, & what was once a bigger group of friends is now 2 groups, one small very bitchy one & one larger one of good natured girls who generally rise above & ignore the bitching & are generally getting on really well & it's a lot to see them so happy at school & not getting upset by the bitching

I'm rambling as its late, but in short, this is the age when their friendships can get very fraught - borne out by teaching friends & family & DDs head & teachers, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if this is still the route cause

Good luck, I hope you get to the bottom of it

My daughter went through similar at the same age - I was pregnant too. She couldn't tell me why and I can't now - 6 years later tell you what it was about. She was happy about my pregnancy (well not at first as she was worried how it would affect her and her brother and also a big fear was if the baby was disabled). She was always cuddling me (too much really) and feeling my bump and was over the moon when the baby was born - I couldn't get a look in and she picked him up at every whimper - much to my annoyance. She even missed out on a decent 11th birthday greeting from me as baby was 2 weeks old and hadn't slept for the same amount of time so wasn't awake when she got up to wish her happy birthday. anyway I digress.
What I wanted to say was that I think it is quite normal - most likely no underlying problem and also 6 years later, my daughter is the most well balanced 16 year old i know x xyou will get through this :)

Rockinhippy, that is exactly it! she was very good friends with a girl since reception, until something happened recently(i wont go into detail) then my daughter stopped hanging around with her, but before they broke friends they were both getting bullied by these girls but then her ex best friend joined in with the bullies, my daughter is very sensitive and would cry at the slightest thing, we do talk alot about why she gets upset we are very open with each other, she says the baby worries her and also that she doesnt get to see her dad much, which he is also getting married in a few months, she is hitting that puberty age! Its all happening at once the poor girl. She is excited about the baby and has asked for years for a brother or sister, she has had early nights the last couple of nights and we havent had any tears recently, even going into school with a smile on her face which makes me very happy! :)
i am hoping all this is coming to a end i guess its all about rountine, she says she doeant want to leave me but i explain that she has to go to school and that i am always there to meet her when she finishes, Kids they are funny little things i just want her to be happy because it breaks my heart to see her sad its not how children should be.
I am glad i wrote this blog i did umm and arrr about it before i posted but i am glad there are other mums/dads that have been or are going through the same thing, thank you for all your help and comments, it has really helped me knowing im not alone xx