1 twin feels less talented

[TwinTum]

I have DTDs just turned 9 (Y4). DTD1 is currently suffering from low self esteem because she sees her sister as being more talented. It is true that DTD2 is much better at sport (she has been selected for a couple of school teams whereas I have on occasion wondered about mild dyspraxia in the case of DTD1). However, both are equally adorable and beautiful (in different ways - non-id) and clever (again in different ways, DTD1 better at maths, DTD2 better at English) and kind etc. They are both quite popular, although DTD1 does not really have a best friend (but would like to) whereas DTD2 has 2 particular really close friends (in addition to being generally liked, as is DTD1).
So DTD2 was recently selected to represent the school in a competition and DTD1 has taken this really quite badly. I think DTD2 has found her "thing" but DTD1 has not found hers yet. How do I help her? Anyone else dealt with a child (esp a twin) suffering low self esteem becuase of perceiving their sibling to be more talented/popular?

I suspect that we have been reasonably fortunate in that this is the first time this kind of thing has come up - they generally get on really well and are usually proud when the other does well in something. Doesn't help though!

We have the situation where our twins (also Y4) are of noticeably different ability levels. Fortunately they are in different classes at school and I when they need support with homework I try to help them at different times. They will be going to different secondary schools too, which hopefully means they'll be less likely to compare sets / levels etc.

Is there something that your DTD1 could try that DTD2 doesn't do? Musical instrument? Art? Brownies?

Siblings Without Rivalry is an excellent book that could help you with this.

I'm a twin and I struggled with this at that sort of age still do

I agree with threebee -can DTD1 try a few different activities to give her a chance at finding her 'thing'? I started horse riding for this reason. I wasn't exceptionally good at it, but the point was more that only I did it so I didn't feel like we were being compared - which is always a problem for twins.

Thanks. The odd thing is that although DTD2 is keen to do activities on her own, DTD1 prefers to go to things together. I will though suggest again ( in light of recent events) that DTD1 tries an out of school activity on her own. Ice-skating is something she has mentioned. I will also look into horse-riding which i think is something she woud enjoy, although we are in central London so it is not particularly accessible and is expensive ( I will need to reflect on whether I feel comfortable spending that amount on one only).

I will also get hold of the book thanks.