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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Thumb sucking or dummy?

22 replies

Pandasandmonkeys · 08/01/2013 14:07

My DS is 10 weeks and has just started sucking his thumb when soothing himself to sleep. I'm worried about this becoming a long term habit that will be difficult to stop. I'm a teacher and have taught many junior age children who still suck their thumb with constantly soggy fingers and cuffs, much to their parents despair. He is EBF but will also take expressed milk from a closer to nature bottle. Should I introduce a dummy to stop the thumb sucking or risk the habit not being long lasting? Any experiences would be great, thanks x

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ZuleikaD · 08/01/2013 14:16

Dummies are a pain - you end up getting up fifteen times in the night to put them back in. Thumbsucking is brilliant for self-soothing, and so what if they continue with it? My DH still sucks his thumb and so do several friends.

changeforthebetter · 08/01/2013 14:24

I am anti dummy because they aren't clean, look gross and at some point you have to take it away, causing much anguish for all involved. They can also interfere with a baby's latch if BF. DD was a thumb sucker but I have noticed a definite decline in frequency. She says she never sucks her thumb at school (Y3), really only before bedtime and if very upset now. She is not the most confident of kids either.

But, that is my personal opinion. See what others say and go with what feels right for you

terilou87 · 08/01/2013 14:27

put scratch mitts on to stop baby doing it. dont try dummies both can stop speech development progressing and thumb sucking at 15 looks rather daft its very hard to stop them sucking thumbs one they start doing it regular.

Shesparkles · 08/01/2013 14:29

I'm going against the grain and saying that dummies are better than thumbs as its a habit that can be broken, dummies can be taken away, thumbs can't.

I had to wear braces in my teens to sort out my buck teeth which were 100% due to my thumb sucking habit.
The braces came after the plate I had to wear to kick the habit....at 42 I'm still known to indulge occasionally

HappyAsASandboy · 08/01/2013 14:32

I have given my children dummies.

As a 34 year old who still sucks her thumb sometimes, I am desperate for my children to avoid the habit :(

harrietspy · 08/01/2013 14:34

DS1 sucked 2 fingers to soothe himself to sleep and when extremely tired or anxious. I know everyone's different but he'd stopped completely by the time he was 6. No dental/speech problems.

Kendodd · 08/01/2013 14:38

I would vote for dummies.

I have three, two had dummies, one sucked thumb. The dentist said if I ever catch them thumb sucking give them a dummy. We took away dummies at about 12-18 months without much problems. The thumb sucker though has been a lot harder, chew/sucks holes in everything and now (age 6 next month) has sticky out teeth.

PPT · 08/01/2013 14:50

Dummy here too. Easily taken away at 20 months- only used for sleeping and extreme meltdowns. Now no thumb sucking. No speech delay here (far from it...). Thumb sucking can be for life. Would prefer a couple of nights replacing a dummy than a childhood getting annoyed with a thumb sucking child!

Snusmumriken · 08/01/2013 14:50

Another vote for dummies. I am an almost forty year old thumb sucker and gave my DS a dummy so that he wouldn't follow in my foot steps. My parents tried everything to get me to stop, without success.

He used them on occasion for about two months.

PPT · 08/01/2013 14:52

My message wasn't that clear- it should have said that my DS only ever had dummy for nighttime and meltdowns- at 20 months we went cold turkey!

Original poster

Pandasandmonkeys · 08/01/2013 14:53

Thanks for all your fast responses. I am reluctant to introduce a dummy, but I also had years of braces as a teen caused by finger sucking (my little finger which to this day still extends further away from my other fingers than my pinkey on the the other hand!) I'm just watching DS sleep now and he has taken it out no he's in a deep sleep. He's a fantastic sleeper at night so I don't really like the idea of having to get up to put a dummy back in when he needs soothing - especially as I'm back to work when he's 6 months and will need my sleep!

OP posts:

ThalianotFailure · 08/01/2013 15:00

DD started sucking her fingers at around 3 months, it was bloody marvellous as she could settle herself really well. As you've just said, her fingers would fall out of her mouth once she was asleep. Stopped of her own accord at around 10 months.

Both my sister and I sucked our fingers. I did it for years and years (into my 20s), sister did it till she was around 7 - she ended up needing braces, I didn't.

So, I would leave it, you really have no idea how it will go but if it helps him now, that's great.

slatternlymother · 08/01/2013 15:00

I think I'm probably in the minority but I'd prefer a dummy. DS had one and simply gave it up himself when he was about 6/7mo; just not interested anymore. But it was a real comfort to him when he was really little; he was very sucky and it's a natural pleasure when they're so tiny.

But as you said he's content and taking it out when he's in a deep sleep; I wouldn't worry.

Also; a 10 week old is massively different to a 6mo. Chances are, he'll stop himself.

lizandlulu · 08/01/2013 20:44

My dd 2 is a thumb sucker when she's tired. I really didn't want her to do it, but would rather her do that than have a dummy, she's a brilliant sleeper and I don't have to get up with her in the night if she does briefly wake.

Im not to worried about getting her to stop when she's older, I will cross hat bridge when we come to it :)

PerchanceToDream · 08/01/2013 20:49

How about neither? Just discourage the thumb sucking by gently moving his hand away.

NoWayNoHow · 08/01/2013 20:55

Just our personal experience...

DS started thumb sucking very early. We tried to give a dummy, but within 2 days it had already become hell on earth (give dummy, 20 seconds later dummy out, screaming blue murder, dummy back in, 20 seconds later dummy back out, screaming blue murder, ad infinitum)

We allowed the thumb sucking to continue. He used to do it mainly when he was tired, then it started to become associated with a small bed time toy. The toy is definitely now the trigger (I.e. he won't suck his thumb at all during the day unless ill and we give the toy for comfort).

He is now 5yo and only sucks his thumb as he gets into bed, grabs his toy, and whilst he drops off to sleep.

tillyfernackerpants · 08/01/2013 21:11

I've had a thumbsucker and a dummy fan and they both have their advantages and disadvantages.

Ds1 stopped sucking his thumb when he was about 6.5 yrs old, we didn't really do anything, he just stopped himself. He hasn't had any speech problems but dentist tells me it is likely he will need a brace at some point.

Ds2 gave up his dummy when we went on holiday and forgot to bring them he was about 3 or so. We spent the day tiring him out and he went to sleep no problems, never had one since. Speech problems with dummies tend to begin when children have them the majority of the time, letting them have one at night shouldn't cause too many problems. In fact, ds2's speech was far better than ds1's at the same age.

Anyway, you may find that now ds has started sucking his thumb he won't take to a dummy. Both of my dses just took to their self-soothing method with very little input from us!

I realise this isn't much help, but good luck either way

tillyfernackerpants · 08/01/2013 21:13

Having read NoWayNoHow's post, I've just realised ds1 stopped sucking his thumb when he decided he didn't want his muslin anymore. Not sure why I haven't picked up on this before

sparkleshine · 08/01/2013 21:27

DS is 3.1 yrs old and has been a thumb sucker since about 10 wks old. As soon as he found it, the dummy was completely forgotten and dismissed by him.
In some ways it's so easy for him to comfort himself and then its a bonus but then it's so hard to get him to stop. I hate it when he talks around his thumb (obviously discouraged and pulled out every time). I'm sure I can already tell his teeth are affected. He doesn't suck it during sleep, only to go to sleep.

I sucked my first finger until I was 15, my teeth are fine but my finger is a little disjointed.

HomeEcoGnomist · 08/01/2013 21:40

Dummy for all reasons given above
It is also v handy for putting teething gel on

BettySuarez · 08/01/2013 21:44

I have four DC's. Two favoured their thumbs and two preferred dummies.

We were able to banish the dummies from approx 3 years of age but my two thumb suckers are still at it and they are aged 12 and 17 (YEARS!).

They only do it in their sleep mind you but even the dentist has commented that she can tell that they were/are thumb suckers.

So I would favour dummies.

zippey · 08/01/2013 22:32

I didnt like dummies because of the hygiene. They fall out on the bed/carpet/ground and they get all hairy. Our baby sucks her thumb. I dont see it as a problem.

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