bullying

[dibsmum]

I've always been bullied because I'm not very good socially. I say the wrong thing, don't fit in, panic when there are too many people etc etc. DH is very sociable and likeable but also a bit of a social outcast like me, never really fits in. my question is how do I stop my dd from getting bullied when it's still happening to me now? I don't know how to teach her to be different to me and the thought of her being bullied because of my inadequacies is unbearable.

I'd seek professional help - go to GP, explain this and get counselling.

you obviously have a lot of anxiety/mild panic attacks so that needs addressing.

is she being bullied already? then talk to school to help you.

if not, then please don't put the idea in her head, she may never be bullied! as her personality is different from you anyway, she might have more self-confidence or is just able to shake things off easier.

it's difficult, but you can certainly improve things for all of you, I don't think it's hopeless!

I'm here if you want to chat.

I was thinking about this and wonder how you feel about joining a choir or amateur acting club or a dance class or a baking class or whatever where you can gain self-confidence through an activity.

anything to do with "being on display" might want make you run a mile, but you'll be surrounded by welcoming, friendly people who will only encourage you and help you not to feel embarrassed!
you need to experience feeling good about yourself, then you can apply the confidence gained in other life situations.
do not underestimate the power of the "buzz"

your daughter could do the same with or without you - depending on her age and the activity.

Thank you both. I couldn't talk to my gp or go to classes myself but I could take her to do activities that would hopefully make her more confident, am dram sounds like a great idea. She is only a baby at the moment but as she gets older I will certainly try that. Thank you