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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Disciplining 20 month old

12 replies

Mylittlepuds · 07/01/2013 22:54

Ds is 20 months and were expecting a new baby in April - DS will be just turned 2.

He's an amazing little character but also very, erm, spirited. I took him to a toddler group today which is more structured than our usual ones (sitting in a circle, copying actions etc) and he just ran riot. One mum said to him "I feel sorry for your mummy,". The cheek!

Anyway rounding him up for shoe and coat time was also a nightmare - he just kicks and punches and wriggles out of my arms. I do discipline him, sittting him on the spot until he calms down and apologises. It kind of works in that it gives him a bit of a time out from the behaviour, but it doesn't really bother him that much - and today he couldn't have given a stuff!

Any ideas? The growing bump is making physical battles a bit of a nightmare and I certainly need a few tricks up my sleeve in time for DC2 arriving.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Musomathsci · 07/01/2013 22:57

This time of year it's fairly easy winning the coat battle - if he refuses to put it on, take him outside without it. He'll soon get fed up with feeling cold and agree to have it on. Ditto shoes as long as it's only a short walk and pavement isn't covered in broken glass / dog poo etc!

Original poster

Mylittlepuds · 07/01/2013 22:59

Music for a second there I thought you meant letting them walk in glass and dog poo to teach him a lesson! Ha!

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Original poster

Mylittlepuds · 07/01/2013 23:00

Muso

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PerchanceToDream · 07/01/2013 23:35

If it's any help, very spirited near-23mo DD's concentration span has improved vastly only in the last couple of weeks. Before that she would never sit still for the singing bit at playgroup and just ran away from me. Don't be surprised if he suddenly improves before the baby comes along. Three/four months is a long time in toddlerhood after all.

3smellysocks · 07/01/2013 23:57

make everything fun and a game. Be silly. Pretend to be a monster/plane/car etc.

Original poster

Mylittlepuds · 08/01/2013 10:41

Great idea 3smelly x

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lollipoppi · 08/01/2013 12:51

Sounds exactly like my DS, he is 2.2 and I'm due dc2 in 1 week eeekkkk!
I left toddler group this morning as I was just exhausted
Sorry, absolutly no helpful advise given there but will be watching!!

Original poster

Mylittlepuds · 08/01/2013 18:39

Thanks Perchance. And hope we get some more advice lolli!

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Viviennemary · 08/01/2013 18:44

I don't think I would go along with making everything a game. Because he won't know when you are not pleased with his behaviour. I've not got a lot of helpful advice because all children are different. But I think it's important to let a child know if they are misbehaving. And I agree let him go out in the cold with no coat and hope he will want to put it on. And twenty months is really young so no-one expects perfection!

DoubleYew · 08/01/2013 18:53

I'm not really sure 20 mo old running riot at a structured playgroup is misbehaving. I mean, battering other children, yes that needs to be dealt with but maybe this is just not an activity that suits him at this stage.

What about toddler gym type thing that encourages running and climbing on safe equipment? Not easy when you are pregnant but might wear him out.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of the coat thing either, he's very young. I either stuff mine into his or take the coat along until he's ready. Pick your battles. Save the discipline for really unsavoury behaviour imo.

nextphase · 08/01/2013 19:02

Can't remember when we started doing this, but it was before DS2 arrived, and there is 2 yrs between them - but DS2 is now 18 mths, and we don't need to do anything like this yet!
Turn it into a challenge - I don't think your big enough to put your coat on by yourself.... you can do it?? show me then.
I can get my shoes on before you etc.
I think sitting and apologising at 20 mths is a bit too much, personally.

I'd agree with games, if they are cooperating, but there is no harm in turning tough for a few secs in a game, No, thats not how we do it, now where is the shoe monster.

Have also had success with trying to put shoes on hands, or somewhere else silly, and then getting them to show me where silly mummy should have put them

Good luck - my 2 adore each other at that age gap, but the first 3 mths were hard going.

Original poster

Mylittlepuds · 08/01/2013 19:17

Thanks for all the input I just get worried when all the other children at the group of his age are following instruction! He doesn't need to 'apologise' when running off etc - just when the hitting me whilst putting shoes on etc gets out of hand. Then it's a kiss to say sorry.

I've been trying the game thing toda and I have to say it has kind of worked. It's seems to dilute a stressful situation into something less challenging. So thanks!

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