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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Nursery at age 2 and 2 months

14 replies

CherriesOnTop · 07/01/2013 20:00

I've seen threads like this before, so apologies for asking again but I'm looking for some advice and maybe some reassurance!!
DS is 2 and 2 months and will be starting nursery this week. He's never been in an environment without me before (I'm a SAHM), except for staying with my parents overnight occasionally which he loves. I know he will be upset when I leave him and I just don't know whether I'm doing this too soon. I'm not in a position where I NEED to send him to nursery because I'm not going back to work, but I would like a little time to myself for my next pregnancy and also I know he needs to learn to socialise with other kids at some point.

I suppose my question is - is he too young to benefit from a nursery environment? Am I being selfish and there's nothing in this for him until he's older - maybe 2.5 or 3? He mixes well with other kids at mother and toddler groups and he's not ridiculously clingy, but he certainly notices if I leave the room to make a drink (!) or if i walk too far away from him when we're at playgroup.

Honest advice/ experiences appreciated!

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wifeymerrick · 07/01/2013 20:29

It will do him no harm....only good ! How often will he be at nursery and when is baby due ? Just these all need to be taken into account when answering the question well ! Ps I'm a early years practitioner :-)

golemmings · 07/01/2013 20:36

Ours have been at nursery since 1 and love it. on the first week dd had away from nursery she kept getting her school bag and taking it to the door at home. She has good friends there and they will be going up to school together in September. If you have the right nursery then its excellent.
He might need a little time to adjust. Ours does a series of orientation days where you both stay for an hour, then child does an hour, then 2 then a half day etc which helps them settle in.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 07/01/2013 20:42

IMO he's a bit too young to benefit from the social aspects
However if he's confident in new surroundings he may enjoy the variety in environment, people and activities, as my dad of the same age does.

Original poster

CherriesOnTop · 07/01/2013 20:44

Thank you. To answer questions - he will be there two afternoons per week at first, and I'm not actually pregnant yet (hoping it won't take too long!!!)

I can choose to stay or leave for the first three sessions and I'm not sure what is kinder for him.

The thing is, I can imagine that sending him at 1
might have been easier before he became more stubborn and aware of what I am doing!

OP posts:

SomebodySaveMe · 07/01/2013 20:47

It's kinder to him if you leave. I'm a nursery worker and from what I have seen at work it takes a lot longer to settle a child if they're used to mum or dad staying with them.
He's the perfect age to benefit from socialising and nursery in general.

Meglet · 07/01/2013 20:48

I'm assuming this is a proper day nursery, not just a pre-school that is allowing him to start early (which would be very different)?

Minre were both at nursery from 18mo and it was fine. They will have loads of things he can do, toys, messy play, art + craft and he will make lots of new friends. The staff are very caring at my DC's nursery, they cuddle the children and kiss them on the cheek. If a new starter is upset I always see staff spending extra one-to-one time with them while they get used to it, usually sitting on the managers in the office and bashing away on their keyboard .

Shattereddreams · 07/01/2013 20:49

My DS started in a preschool setting at 2.3 months. It was a tough love setting and they didn't allow parents into the room

He is my 2nd DC so I was very practical about it. I knew he would absolutely benefit from the social setting. He was fairly advanced with his language so I could talk to him explaining I would be back soon etc.

For the first 4 sessions he cried but they always cuddled him into the room. Then he stopped crying and loves going.

If you are calm and smiley on the outside he will settle better.
It hurts like hell leaving them like that so only you can decide why you are doing it and how to behave outwardly to your child.

Original poster

CherriesOnTop · 07/01/2013 20:52

Yes it's a proper day nursery and we know two other 2 year olds starting on the same day who are his friends (as far as they can be!)
I have been scared of doing damage to his confidence or trust in me but these responses are definitely making me feel better. Thank you!

OP posts:

nailak · 07/01/2013 20:52

i think a lot of people (myself included) do preparation from birth for this, like going to nursery type environments like childrens centres etc, so the child is comfortable in that type of place, going to classes and leaving the kids in the attatched creche (even if you dont need to go to first aid, or super snackers or whatever we just go to whatever as an excuse to get kids used to creche) and then after that nursery is not so much of a big transition to them.

juneau · 07/01/2013 21:01

I found that 2+ was a good age to start nursery with DS1 (I think he was 2.4 when he started and he loved it straight away). If you're confident in your choice of nursery then he'll take his cue from you. If he senses that you're anxious or upset then he'll take his cue from that, so take a deep breath, put a smile on your face and don't linger too long with the goodbyes. Any decent nursery won't mind you calling to check in a couple of times to see how he's doing and hopefully they'll be able to set your mind at rest. You might get some tears when you leave, but many children cheer up within 5 mins and the staff should quickly distract him and include him in activities.

And if, for whatever reason, it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world. Give it a month and see how you go, but if you have a gut feeling by then that it's not going well, pull him out and try again later.

StrawberrytallCAKE · 07/01/2013 21:03

I sent my dd for two afternoons a week when she was the same age and it did her the world of good. She surprised me as she got into it straight away and didn't cry for me once even though she was very shy. She became much more confident around other children and it gave her more interests and meant a lot of messy play could be kept at nursery .

I think it's a great thing to do for you and him.

wifeymerrick · 08/01/2013 07:09

I think two afternoons a week is ideal for his age, however be prepared from him to cry, sorry to be the bearer of bad need, the time between two afternoons at nursery can feel LONG to a child ! On the plus side if the staff are committed the crying shouldn't last too long because ur DS will feel loved and safe in their care ! Good luck and let us know how it all goes x

poppy283 · 08/01/2013 07:17

You asked for honest experiences so here's mine ...

Dd started when she was 2.2, loved it ... as long as I was there. After 2 goes at leaving her the manager told me Dd wasn't ready, so I took her out and we'll try again when she's 3. So I'd say it's worth a go but if it doesn't feel right don't carry on if you don't have to.

Being pg and looking after a toddler is hard work, bit easier than leaving your child crying, especially with all your extra hormones!

poppy283 · 08/01/2013 07:18

Should say but easier not bit.

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